I think that your most fundamental error is to assume a greater distance between our very different positions than actually exists in real practice.
Even pushing both of our positions to their logical conclusions:
- Katiemygirl believes that a soon-to-be-saved person must have Faith (believe), accept Grace (what Jesus did), obey Jesus commands (Love and be Baptized) and then they will be saved (receive justification from sin) ... immediately after that they begin the process of sanctification (more Love, more obedience and more repentance).
- I believe that a soon-to-be-saved person must have Faith (believe), accept Grace (what Jesus did) ... immediately after that they will be saved (receive justification from sin) ... then they begin the process of sanctification (more Love, more obedience and more repentance) including obey Jesus commands (Love and be Baptized).
These two positions are different.
The differences are real.
However, the difference is more about how one divides "cause" and "effect" between Jusstification (initial forgiveness) and Sanctification (ongoing Christ like transformation).
The most important point is that the difference belongs to God and following both her path and my path will hit all the same truck stops to reach the same destination. We just disagree on the exact midpoint by one truck stop.