First of all, that's not true. Each person decides how he will handle a situation regarding someone who has left the faith.
So the stories I have heard how parents and siblings won't talk to their own family members, that they disown them, etc, are not really that prevalent? Shunning may be just a matter of "not discussing religion at the dinner table", sort of topic avoidance like any other hot button issue in any other typical family?
Explain how you see shunning (let's call it what it is here, rather than softening it with a euphemism), as not being nearly so psychological and emotionally and spiritually damaging as I've heard the stories of in this practice. I'd be interested in hearing how it's not all as bad as that.
I agree it may not be pleasant for a person to be disfellowshipped.
Again, this seems to be softening it, "not be pleasant", as if it were a stern corrective measure, like giving a child timeout or something. Shunning is outright damaging. It is tantamount to
torture.
A simple Google search on this instantly brings up information like this:
The effect of shunning can be very dramatic or even devastating on the shunned, as it can damage or destroy the shunned member's closest familial, spousal, social, emotional, and economic bonds.[
citation needed]
Shunning contains aspects of what is known as
relational aggression in psychological literature. When used by church members and member-spouse parents against excommunicant parents it contains elements of what psychologists call
parental alienation.
Extreme shunning may cause traumas to the shunned (and to their dependents) similar to what is studied in the psychology of torture.
Shunning - Wikipedia.
What I seem to hear is a downplaying of this practice, as "it's not all that bad, really". But as a practice is it Biblically sanctioned?? Let's talk about that.
But it is a biblical principle.
Aside from a couple OT passages which talk about cutting someone off from the assembly, which we can pretty much disregard because what Jesus taught supersedes what Moses taught (think 'eye for an eye' of Moses, being superseded by 'turn the other cheek 'of Jesus), there are only two references to it in the NT as an instruction to Christians. Mt. 8:17, and 2 Thes. 3:14
Let's take the first one.
"If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
Question. How did Jesus treat pagans, harlots, and tax collectors? Did he shun them, "away from me you impure ones, for I am holy and you are not!"? Was Jesus teaching his followers to do the opposite of how he treated them with love and compassion and understanding instead?
Maybe you should consider this to mean, show them more compassion as I have shown by example, and not revile them and expel them like the Pharisees did, whom Jesus rebuked for doing so.
I don't think I really need to say anything more than that, do I?
Now the 2nd reference, 2 Thes. 3:14.
Something to note about 2 Thessalonians is that that epistle is not considered an authentic Pauline epistle by most modern NT scholarship. You can read about why that is the case here:
2 Thessalonians
But aside from the high likelihood this is a much later text posing itself to be a letter of Paul, even reading the passage itself does not support the mistreatment of the church member by shunning them as is practiced in the Jehovah's Witnesses' sect.
Take special note of anyone who does not obey our instruction in this letter. Do not associate with them, in order that they may feel ashamed. 15 Yet do not regard them as an enemy, but warn them as you would a fellow believer.
Shunning them is treating them as an enemy. It is a practice that goes directly against the teachings of love and compassion that Jesus taught. It treats them as unworthy of love.
Even if you want to view them as enemies, how did Jesus say you should treat your enemies? Do I need to quote that verse?
Each person makes up his own mind as to how he will handle the situation.
Yet it is a sanctioned practice, rather than condemned as it should be. So "leaving it up to the individual", how badly they treat their family member, is hardly what can be considered good Christian leadership. Abuse should never be condoned from the pulpit.
However the scriptural principle is clear for those who obey the scriptures.
Is it? If you think it sanctions it, apparently it's not that clear to you.