Your People

[JustGeorge]

When talking to a person online, you get to know them without the factors of their environment coming up. You don't get to see whether the person is messy or tidy, rich or poor, unless they disclose that information. You can't see what neighborhood they live in, or what food is in their cupboard(unless they tell you).

I think when a person talks online, unless they specifically state otherwise, its easy to assume the people in their 'corner' are somewhat like them. That they must share values, or be reasonably tempered similarly(unless otherwise stated). Is this true for you? Are your 'people' much like you?

By 'your people', I'm only asking about the ones you chose, not family that you were born into(or that were born to you), unless you feel you chose to connect with one of them that overlaps into 'close friend' territory. Spouses(unless your marriage was arranged), close friends, and other long term relations... Are they much like you, or not?

 

[Debater Slayer]

Is this true for you? Are your 'people' much like you?

Most of the people with whom I choose to associate are like me in some ways and markedly different in others. I share my core values with most of them, so I'm not freely associated with anyone who lacks empathy, disregards others' boundaries, is ill-mannered, is dishonest, is chronically and heavily impulsive, etc.

However, in terms of backgrounds and worldviews, my larger social circle includes people whose economic status, worldviews, and religion are considerably different from mine. I'm friends with someone who is a multimillionaire, although we're not close, and I'm also friends with someone who is currently struggling to cover car maintenance costs. Most are very similar to me in terms of economic status, though. In terms of religion, I have a friend who is an ultra-fundamentalist Muslim, more distant friends who are conservative Christians, and many casual friends who are conservative but not ultra-fundamentalist Muslims.

My smallest close friend circle includes the fundamentalist Muslim but is primarily made up of atheists, agnostics, and deists. Most of them are LGBT and feminist, and about a third of them are vegan, vegetarian, or pescatarian.

If we include online friends, my closer circle includes friends who are Hindu (hey there!), Buddhist, Jewish, and Pagan, among others, and again, they vary heavily in their economic status, temperaments, and backgrounds. They come from all continents... except Antarctica (well, unless one of you has been secretly living there the whole time!).

It's really hard to summarize the vast number of similarities and differences in just one post, but the gist is that, by default, I'm fine with befriending and associating with all sorts of different people, and the exception to the default usually comes from one or more dealbreakers such as the toxic traits I listed above—or an egregiously, starkly toxic belief that also reflects on one's values or character (e.g., knowingly supporting genocide or sexual assault, and yes, I have sadly met some meeting both of these conditions).

When it comes to my closest, most intimate circle, most of them are similar to me in more ways than not, but some are quite different too.

 

[JustGeorge]

Most of the people with whom I choose to associate are like me in some ways and markedly different in others. I share my core values with most of them, so I'm not freely associated with anyone who lacks empathy, disregards others' boundaries, is ill-mannered, is dishonest, is chronically and heavily impulsive, etc.

However, in terms of backgrounds and worldviews, my larger social circle includes people whose economic status, worldviews, and religion are considerably different from mine. I'm friends with someone who is a multimillionaire, although we're not close, and I'm also friends with someone who is currently struggling to cover car maintenance costs. Most are very similar to me in terms of economic status, though. In terms of religion, I have a friend who is an ultra-fundamentalist Muslim, more distant friends who are conservative Christians, and many casual friends who are conservative but not ultra-fundamentalist Muslims.

My smallest close friend circle includes the fundamentalist Muslim but is primarily made up of atheists, agnostics, and deists. Most of them are LGBT and feminist, and about a third of them are vegan, vegetarian, or pescatarian.

If we include online friends, my closer circle includes friends who are Hindu (hey there!), Buddhist, Jewish, and Pagan, among others, and again, they vary heavily in their economic status, temperaments, and backgrounds. They come from all continents... except Antarctica (well, unless one of you has been secretly living there the whole time!).

One nice thing about the internet is it allows us exposure to people we might not ordinarily run into.

It's really hard to summarize the vast number of similarities and differences in just one post, but the gist is that, by default, I'm fine with befriending and associating with all sorts of different people, and the exception to the default usually comes from one or more dealbreakers such as the toxic traits I listed above—or an egregiously, starkly toxic belief that also reflects on one's values or character (e.g., knowingly supporting genocide or sexual assault, and yes, I have sadly met some meeting both of these conditions).

When it comes to my closest, most intimate circle, most of them are similar to me in more ways than not, but some are quite different too.

Good variety!

 

[ChristineM]

By 'your people', I'm only asking about the ones you chose, not family that you were born into(or that were born to you), unless you feel you chose to connect with one of them that overlaps into 'close friend' territory. Spouses(unless your marriage was arranged), close friends, and other long term relations... Are they much like you, or not?

Husband, he is all i could wish for. We mesh completely, no more to say.

I left my close friends behind when we moved to France, though we visit them and vice versa. 1 or 2 weeks a year just isn't the same.

All but 2 were (still are) pretty much me cloned. Left leaning artists with a fondness for cats, other animals and nature. Bohemian comes to mind now although I've never thought of them as such before.
Of the 2, one died of a drug related problem, i told him so but would he listen? The other is as religious as you can get, works for her church (actually had her own church at one time), she leans so far right she bends at the ankles, we have had ding ding religious or political arguments and she remains my oldest best friend.

In France I've made a few good friends, funnily enough they are mostly much older than me. This area tends to grow them to pushing 100. The first person to welcome us to the village died a few years ago at age 104. Another friends funeral tomorrow... sigh. Unfortunately half of those I've become close to over the 8 years (plus 4 years of visits) have died.

It's looking like I'll have to search out some new people soon.

 

[JustGeorge]

Husband, he is all i could wish for. We mesh completely, no more to say.

I left my close friends behind when we moved to France, though we visit them and vice versa. 1 or 2 weeks a year just isn't the same.

All but 2 were (still are) pretty much me cloned. Left leaning artists with a fondness for cats, other animals and nature. Bohemian comes to mind now although I've never thought of them as such before.
Of the 2, one died of a drug related problem, i told him so but would he listen? The other is as religious as you can get, works for her church (actually had her own church at one time), she leans so far right she bends at the ankles, we have had ding ding religious or political arguments and she remains my oldest best friend.

How did you meet the two that were so different? How did you meet the ones you say are cloned?

In France I've made a few good friends, funnily enough they are mostly much older than me. This area tends to grow them to pushing 100. The first person to welcome us to the village died a few years ago at age 104. Another friends funeral tomorrow... sigh. Unfortunately half of those I've become close to over the 8 years (plus 4 years of visits) have died.

It's looking like I'll have to search out some new people soon.

104 is impressive... Your area sounds wonderful. I can see how it would lend to long lifespan.

 

[ChristineM]

How did you meet the two that were so different? How did you meet the ones you say are cloned?

John i went to school with, we were firm friends from first year at secondary school (age 11). We fought each other from day 1 (that's how we met, he had taken the locker assigned to me). Unfortunately towards the end of school he began on soft drugs. I never saw him through my college years, next time we met he was on the hard stuff and high as a kite. And went downhill from there sharing needles (that's what killed him he contracted hep then developed leukemia). Trying to help someone like that is heartbreaking.

Michelle, we went to junior school together and played with each other often enough to become close. She went to a different secondary school but we attended the same church. She was the only one to stand by me when the mockery and ridicule started, for that i am forever grateful.

The clones (not necessarily in looks but in mind) a few from Uni's (I've been to several over the years), same clubs, artists meetings, work.

 

[Rival]

Not really like me. I'm unusually conservative for most Westerners. I was once asked if I were Polish (on here).

Although I met my bf on RF.

 

[Debater Slayer]

Not really like me. I'm unusually conservative for most Westerners. I was once asked if I were Polish (on here).

I've been mistaken for a Western person online more times than I can count. We're like mirror images!

My favorite was when someone called me a "British leftist extremist" but then revised their accusation to "American" because of the way I spell words.

Although I met my bf on RF.

When you've had too much tea or ice cream and he tells you to save some, do you issue him a Rule 2 warning for discussing moderation?

 

[Rival]

I've been mistaken for a Western person online more times than I can count. We're like mirror images!

My favorite was when someone called me a "British leftist extremist" but then revised their accusation to "American" because of the way I spell words.



When you've had too much tea or ice cream and he tells you to save some, do you issue him a Rule 2 warning for discussing moderation?

It's actually more rule 8.

We don't try converting each other to our respective religions.

 

[JustGeorge]

Not really like me. I'm unusually conservative for most Westerners. I was once asked if I were Polish (on here).

Although I met my bf on RF.

Are Polish folks more conservative?

Nice to hear of an RF happy couple! (Assuming you're happy, you speak well of him when you do. )

My husband and I are extremely different. If we had met on RF, I think we'd have each other on ignore. He thought about making a RF account for awhile. I told him not to bother, knowing him as I know him, he'd end up in hot water real quick. (He agreed I was likely right, and didn't do it.)

I've been mistaken for a Western person online more times than I can count. We're like mirror images!

My favorite was when someone called me a "British leftist extremist" but then revised their accusation to "American" because of the way I spell words.



When you've had too much tea or ice cream and he tells you to save some, do you issue him a Rule 2 warning for discussing moderation?

I've given my son an R5. He said "Oh, for ****'s sake, George", to which I issued him an R2 for ignoring moderation.

 

[ChristineM]

I've given my son an R5. He said "Oh, for ****'s sake, George", to which I issued him an R2 for ignoring moderation.

I thought such decisions were made by triumvirate

 

[JustGeorge]

I thought such decisions were made by triumvirate

The cats weighed in.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

I think when a person talks online, unless they specifically state otherwise, its easy to assume the people in their 'corner' are somewhat like them. That they must share values, or be reasonably tempered similarly(unless otherwise stated). Is this true for you?

No, but to me online friends are the evolution of pen pals. And because growing up in Indiana I'm very used to associating with people who are different than me to the point one night I found myself wishing I had a friend I could agree with more often than what I do.

Are your 'people' much like you?

In some ways, yes. In some ways, no.

By 'your people', I'm only asking about the ones you chose, not family that you were born into(or that were born to you), unless you feel you chose to connect with one of them that overlaps into 'close friend' territory. Spouses(unless your marriage was arranged), close friends, and other long term relations... Are they much like you, or not?

My best and her family I've done more with as a family than my own family. My brother and I were very close, and I'm close with all but two of my nieces and nephews but my birth family is so terribly loose knit that I came to view another family as a family.
We do we have many similarities, lots of differences, largely the same core values, but things can be very different (they're conspiracy nutters and Truthers), but my friend and I have done a lot together and missing her is what recently got me more into ICP than I was (she's been a Jugallette since way back in the day).

 

[Rival]

Are Polish folks more conservative?

Nice to hear of an RF happy couple! (Assuming you're happy, you speak well of him when you do. )

My husband and I are extremely different. If we had met on RF, I think we'd have each other on ignore. He thought about making a RF account for awhile. I told him not to bother, knowing him as I know him, he'd end up in hot water real quick. (He agreed I was likely right, and didn't do it.)

I've given my son an R5. He said "Oh, for ****'s sake, George", to which I issued him an R2 for ignoring moderation.

Poles are known for being social conservatives. We are happy

 

[Rival]

Poles are known for being social conservatives. We are happy

@Vouthon and me

 

[JustGeorge]

View attachment 80478

@Vouthon and me

What a beautiful picture! (and I love your necklace!)

 

[Orbit]

When talking to a person online, you get to know them without the factors of their environment coming up. You don't get to see whether the person is messy or tidy, rich or poor, unless they disclose that information. You can't see what neighborhood they live in, or what food is in their cupboard(unless they tell you).

I think when a person talks online, unless they specifically state otherwise, its easy to assume the people in their 'corner' are somewhat like them. That they must share values, or be reasonably tempered similarly(unless otherwise stated). Is this true for you? Are your 'people' much like you?

By 'your people', I'm only asking about the ones you chose, not family that you were born into(or that were born to you), unless you feel you chose to connect with one of them that overlaps into 'close friend' territory. Spouses(unless your marriage was arranged), close friends, and other long term relations... Are they much like you, or not?

Since I was a musician and also worked for a record label in the 1980s and 1990s, a lot of my old friends are also musicians, and tend to live in Los Angeles. My newer friends, not by design, also tend to be musical. That just tends to be what we have in common. They also tend to share my interest in mythology/religion. Some are atheist, some are pagan, some are more generically theist, not affiliating with any particular church. In terms of social class, I have had friends who were struggling to make ends meet, working class and middle class friends, but no wealthy friends. The wealthy tend to move in different circles. Perhaps surprisingly, I don't have any close friends who are academics, despite that being my current profession. My spouse, who I met quite by accident here on RF, is also musical and is interested in religion and other academic subjects so we're pretty well matched. So yes, I guess my people tend to be like me in interests, though not necessarily in background.

 

[syo]

When talking to a person online, you get to know them without the factors of their environment coming up. You don't get to see whether the person is messy or tidy, rich or poor, unless they disclose that information. You can't see what neighborhood they live in, or what food is in their cupboard(unless they tell you).

I think when a person talks online, unless they specifically state otherwise, its easy to assume the people in their 'corner' are somewhat like them. That they must share values, or be reasonably tempered similarly(unless otherwise stated). Is this true for you? Are your 'people' much like you?

By 'your people', I'm only asking about the ones you chose, not family that you were born into(or that were born to you), unless you feel you chose to connect with one of them that overlaps into 'close friend' territory. Spouses(unless your marriage was arranged), close friends, and other long term relations... Are they much like you, or not?

I associate with a very small group of people, and they are all witches/warlocks.

 

[exchemist]

What a beautiful picture! (and I love your necklace!)

Maybe it's time to reveal they came to dinner with me and my son, last weekend.....

Perhaps entertaining a lawyer and a theology student is not that much out of the comfort zone for me these days, though, seeing as my son is currently studying ancient history.

 

[Secret Chief]

Are they much like you, or not?

Take a wild guess