A poll for the women of RF

[Storm]

to the women, would you rather have your husband:

cheat on you behind your back and later find out about it

OR

would you rather have him come up to you and say "i want to marry another woman also" and discuss it with him?
(if he was to marry another woman, then you should both have a house each, be free to work if you wanted but to keep the money for yourself etc)

whats the reasoning behind your answer?

there will be a few follow up threads to this. i will post the links to this OP.

EDIT: here are the links

A poll for the men of RF

Your poll doesn't include my option. I wouldn't allow him to marry another, but I wouldn't divorce him for the suggestion, either.

 

[Gharib]

Your poll doesn't include my option. I wouldn't allow him to marry another, but I wouldn't divorce him for the suggestion, either.

i think i really should have put that one, i will get one of the staff to do it, the poll doesn't give you ladies that many options does it?

 

[Storm]

Not really.

 

[Autodidact]

Not enough choices. Assuming I was heterosexual, I want a choice for, "I would rather he talk to me so we can agree to have a mutual, honest, equal, open relationship." In other words, sauce for goose = sauce for gander. If so, I'm open.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Not enough choices. Assuming I was heterosexual, I want a choice for, "I would rather he talk to me so we can agree to have a mutual, honest, equal, open relationship." In other words, sauce for goose = sauce for gander. If so, I'm open.

Shoot. I wish I had given this as an addendum to my first reply. Thanks, Auto.

But this gave me another bit of insight where I'm with UV and Nanda......my husband does allow me to see other women, too. So, the poll really is only fit for hetero women and not quite for homosexuals nor those of us in the bisexual category.

 

[Gharib]

i appologise for not having any options for the bisexual or homosexual members, it's not that i've had any of that sort of experience, i don't know why a woman would not want her female partner to have another one besides her. that to me seems like a strange question to ask, even though i've already written it.

 

[Storm]

Shoot. I wish I had given this as an addendum to my first reply. Thanks, Auto.

But this gave me another bit of insight where I'm with UV and Nanda......my husband does allow me to see other women, too. So, the poll really is only fit for hetero women and not quite for homosexuals nor those of us in the bisexual category.

A monogamous nature is more of a requirement than heterosexuality, I think. A monogamous lesbian can ajust switch the gender. And, I know you know but it still has to be said () bisexual does not automatically mean polyamorous.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

A monogamous nature is more of a requirement than heterosexuality, I think. A monogamous lesbian can ajust switch the gender. And, I know you know but it still has to be said () bisexual does not automatically mean polyamorous.

Absolutely, sweetheart. Thank you so much for clarifying further. :hug:

 

[katiafish]

Interesting, I think in my relationship I would be a lot more likely to bring another woman into the relationship than my husband.
I am all up for an honest discussion, and no need for a separate house also, I firmly believe in advantages of the communal living and as far as who is sleeping with whom is concerned, cant we just get a bigger bed?

 

[Gharib]

Interesting, I think in my relationship I would be a lot more likely to bring another woman into the relationship than my husband.
I am all up for an honest discussion, and no need for a separate house also, I firmly believe in advantages of the communal living and as far as who is sleeping with whom is concerned, cant we just get a bigger bed?

by saying

"I would be a lot more likely to bring another woman into the relationship than my husband"

you actually mean a woman for him or yourself?

 

[katiafish]

us

 

[Storm]

cant we just get a bigger bed?

Well, you know, they only get so big....

 

[Gharib]

us

gee this stuff seems to be common amongs women.

i've never come across anyone who is into males and females.

is this all that common, cos i haven't heard of it appart from you and Mystic

 

[MSizer]

gee this stuff seems to be common amongs women.

i've never come across anyone who is into males and females.

is this all that common, cos i haven't heard of it appart from you and Mystic

???? Yes, it is very common, mostly in females in my experience, but also in males to a much lesser degree.

 

[Storm]

gee this stuff seems to be common amongs women.

i've never come across anyone who is into males and females.

is this all that common, cos i haven't heard of it appart from you and Mystic

*raises hand*

I'm always surprised when a long-term RFer is unaware of my orientation.

Anyway, it's not actually that uncommon. I'd bet you know a few bis in the closet.

That said, it's also rather trendy in the US, for women at least. We get a lot of chicks pretending, to be more alluring to men. Drives me nuts.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

gee this stuff seems to be common amongs women.

i've never come across anyone who is into males and females.

is this all that common, cos i haven't heard of it appart from you and Mystic

The jury is still out on that. Although there are tons of media images of women who are "bi-for-guys" in a strange and delusional way to get a man's attention. From personal experience, though, I'd say the statistics run about the same as other members of the GLBTQ community for bisexual women who honestly feel sexual, emotional, mental, and romantic attraction for both genders.

As Storm pointed out, though, the sexuality of a person has nothing to do with whether he or she is monogamous or polyamorous.

 

[Gharib]

but how is it possible to be bisexual, wow, it's really get to me.

which gender do you go for?

 

[Storm]

but how is it possible to be bisexual, wow, it's really get to me.

Um... you're born that way. Why wouldn't it be?

which gender do you go for?

Either, it's not a consideration. Kinda definitively.

 

[katiafish]

The jury is still out on that. Although there are tons of media images of women who are "bi-for-guys" in a strange and delusional way to get a man's attention. From personal experience, though, I'd say the statistics run about the same as other members of the GLBTQ community for bisexual women who honestly feel sexual, emotional, mental, and romantic attraction for both genders.

As Storm pointed out, though, the sexuality of a person has nothing to do with whether he or she is monogamous or polyamorous.

I totally agree..

My personal opinion is that jealousy one of the most pointless and destructive emotions there is. So if you are secure in yourself and your relationship, why not introduce more people into it, as long as there is equilibrium within the relationship and everyone is receiving what they desire and also fulfill the requirements of others. I just don't see why we cant love than more than one person. Doesn't loving more than one person also mean being loved by more than one person?

 

[Storm]

My personal opinion is that jealousy one of the most pointless and destructive emotions there is.

Monogamy isn't (or at least shouldn't be) about jealousy.

So if you are secure in yourself and your relationship, why not introduce more people into it, as long as there is equilibrium within the relationship and everyone is receiving what they desire and also fulfill the requirements of others.

Because I don't want to.

I just don't see why we cant love than more than one person. Doesn't loving more than one person also mean being loved by more than one person?

Loving is one thing. Sharing my mate is quite another.