Dang. I'm ancient in gay years. Trying to explain that in a post, or even a thread, is beyond my internetz. I don't even know what A4 is. I don't really care.
To sum it up in a sentence, I don't have much patience with self-destructive behaviour or carefully protected ignorance. I don't claim to be any paragon of virtue, I'm as imperfect as most people. But I have put in my time trying to fix things, volunteering for everything under the sun. Including trying to achieve civil equality for you, and what you say is "We don't need that".
You gotta love these humans or you'd mow them all down with machine guns. Jesus taught me that. I love Jesus. I'm not big on Christian theology, but I love Jesus.
Yes, you have hit some nerves. Please stop calling me "Boss". My name is Tom.
I'm a big out *** and have been since before you were born. I'm more than a little touchy about some things. But frankly, I'm more concerned about climate change and weapons than gay marriage.
Tom
I am sincerely apologetic for rubbing your nerves and I am so grateful.. truly, for your good intentions on looking out for the younger generation of gays in this country, because were we stand now, were free to be ourselves. So, I'll take this moment, Tom, to personally thank you on behalf of my generation. However, I too am fighting for the next generation...
./bow
Where I come from, our county is 1st to 2nd on the HIV list (part due to Belle Glade). Next to Atl and San Fran, the tri-county area of South Florida alone (Palm Beach, Broward (ft laud, Wilton Manors), Miami) has one of the highest gay populations In the U.S, if not the highest. With that being said, I've seen much down here, if not almost everything.
I must note that most people down here are either 1st gen immigrants, 2nd generation immigrants (mainly from south america), or 1st/2nd generation from other states (mainly palm beach and broward, and most of them are from the northeast). There's WAY to many different mindsets down here and are from all over the place, each race, ethnicity, country, and religion. South Florida is literally a melting Pot where White is the minority (btw my bfs black). Now, Mix that in with the gay population, and that = a
HUGE mess. Also, South florida is #1 for rehabilitation and the tri-county area a few years ago was responsible for all vikadin and oxys that eventually became distributed throughout the south, midwest, and east coast of the country. Its effects on the populations alone is a whole other discussion =) Perhaps my general consensus of the gay population is therefore skewed in comparison to many other areas, so I will admit I may have been a bit radical with my beliefs/intentions.
I AM scared.. of the gay population down here Tom, from the culture that's been created because of our freedom, to the effects that it has on curious kitties (esp the younglings), to the dangers it exposes all of us too. It takes experience to say.. that's not a good idea.. this is sketchy.. that's bad news.. etc, and Im direly afraid for next generation of gays that pop up because of what its evolving to. I have always had good intentions, but as I've learned intentions cannot excuse choices themselves, and being naive like I was at 17 got me into some dangerous... situations and it was my fault. I have been manipulated into sex, lied to, taken advantage of, and mainly from the older generations. I remember many scenarios where I had prayed because I was so scared.. knowing that something wasn't right.. and ALL I wanted was to feel normal, to feel happy, content, and to know there's people out there who accepted my sexuality, my physical appeal, etc. My stupidness lead me to believe that sex was the only way to find it, to meet, and to find a potential lover, because other than online.. theres no other way unless you're educated enough to know theres always another way.. such as gay community gatherings, and such. Youngsters go from not realizing theres a community, to going online, and realizing how defined and big it really is. It truthfully is its own world, and many heterosexuals don't realize that.
note* I too am no angel.
Now, I work and am focusing on getting back into school. Im pretty close with my current boyfriend and we've been together two years, but its been a long road to recovery given how psychologically messed up I had become and partly still am (and I was the blessed one!). I have serious trust issues too, and you can't love without trust Tom, surely you know that. I have 1 friend that lives 30mins north in Jupiter and shes not gay. I stay away from the community as a result, at all costs. I've done so since 20. I too do not generally like gay people, and thats the reason why ^ It's just overwhelmingly too much. Now, there are individuals and young gays who take different paths, but I took one of the more direct paths, one many youngsters also take and I sure as hell learned from it, though I did catch Fire along the way, and boy have I BURNED. Talk about a heavenly storm..? "I've toppled over and over, under waves with white caps, under the siege of the current, while fighting for just one last breath".
The fact that most gays aren't christian, or follow any religion rather, also puts the community at stake. They uphold IMO the democratic socialism mentality and often do not make decisions or have intentions based off virtue, but rather what some may describe "If it feels good, do it" until they end up with HIV, Drugged, Dead, Getting into Porn (Doral Miami), to which the companies there look for actors on active gay dating/hookup sites and go for the young, or other scenarios. There is a handful of gays on the otherhand who are Christians, mainly in wilton manners where theres 1-2 gay churches down there, but that population is so small in comparison to the remainder. Im also not stating that non-religious gays are the culprits, what Im saying is that most non-religious gays are more likely to confine to this culture.
I so desire to be like you, and to help, because I've been helped, by you and some others, but my goal is beyond marriage and gay rights. At this point, that should be the least of our problems as a community, so activists fighting for our rights in our current state "as a community" is petty to me atm, but coming from your generation of not having freedom, I totally Understand, and I apologize Tom.
IE- The media needs to portray homosexuals in a new light, and promote non 'flamer' homosexuals as to not condition people as to what gays are like, or young gays to be. More Christian dating sites are needed. More HIV awareness is needed (Broward just starting advertising on busses), Gay Pride needs to go away... Its stupid. Pride over being gay, why? Most of us have No shame.. but whats pride over it gonna do for us? Whats that tell others? It rubs it in their faces, and thats not how I want the world to see you, to see me, to see us.
On another note, just to lift the light inside the community. There are.. many great people who are virtuous, helpful, loving, and wise- and they do, like you, help the community and those in it. Many of them specifically target the youth as to provide them the strength to get through the typical younger years of a gay male living in specifically south Florida in this age, and they are the true heroes. They've been there, they done that, and they have wisdom to share with us, as you do, to help us on our journey being a homosexual. No heterosexual man on this website, nor woman, can help me, you, and other gays with many of the issues that we face because they haven't a clue of what it's like, but men like you do. So people like you are the light in this 'community'. The gay men at the free Gay HIV testing centers( some are POS themselves) are there to support, encourage, and uplift those who come in no matter if they test neg or pos. I've seen young guys, and older guys, shove their HIV status in everyone's faces, sacrificing THEIR REP to demonstrate courage within the online community, those are heroes, and like you, they are the ones who fight.
I often feel fear over my future because of my sexuality, what I see in the older gen of gays, etc. but people like you assure me there's nothing to fear, and in the very least, that Im not alone. It took me time to find the light in darkness, but its there =)
This is all from my perspective as a younger male in this era looking in, specifically from an area with a higher gay population than most. Tom. I hope I filled you in with the gaps, so you understand my perspective. As I said, Im fighting too for generations to come, but gay marriage isn't going to do Crap so I've got eyes on other things. If I get married, its for devotion and commitment, and thats before God or whatevers up there, if not for me and my BF alone and our own dignity. I have NOTHING to prove to the world, nor the heterosexual community by my marriage. Thats marriage in a nutshell, but as I said, the legal benefits is another topic.
