Advice on possible stripping career please

[Vasilisa Jade]

Since I am suprising myself on how serious I am actually considering this... I figured I should post here so that I can think this through a little more in depth, with the input of my bestest best varietal group of intellegent internet friends. I'll try to keep this short and concise.

I work now at AT&T Mobility and Chili's Bar and Grill, sales rep/ server. AT&T alone wasn't cutting it and I had to start serving agian. I have two college classes left. I can't take them because of my schedule. If I fix my schedule (quitting serving) I can't take them cause of money... even with a pell grant. (Last year AT&T cut our pay). For over a month I have been working 6-7 days a week with at least one double shift. For the last year I have been averaging a minimum of 6-7 shifts a week with 1-2 days off. 2 days at best but I will still have double shifts.

I can't do this forever and I don't have the strength to do it and finish college at the same time. My grades would suffer horribly.

I can't replace waitressing with anything better cause my shifts at AT&T are so, all over the dam place it would be impossible to have somewhere work with it. I am lucky Chili's does. Even then I would be in the same boat. Working too much.

I have looked into replacing AT&T with something better. Problem is that I have been there for 2+ years, I have 4+ years experience in sales, wherever I went would be like starting seniority over agian. I would be the newbie. I would take a pay cut. Benefits might not be as good. *When a company starts laying off people they lay off the newbies.* That's the biggie. I have job security right now and I can't give it up with the way the economy is.

Sooo... here are my ultimate goals:

1. Finish college. I want my masters.
2. Get away from waitressing. It's the worst job in the world and drives me insane.
3.Make equal or greater income without sacrificing pay or benefits.
4. Get down to 2-3 days off a week like normal so I can complete school without going gray.

I thought for so long this was an impossible set of goals, that I lack the strength and determination to achieve...

Then me, my boyfriend, my best friend and her boyfriend went to a strip club an hour and a half away.

It was off in the cut down a side road with hardly a sign. It looked like an old pretty stone church. It was a club/restaurant/bar/strip club. All the guy employees were waering black and white tux looking clothes. When you walk in it doesn't even look like a strip club. When the girls weren't dancing they wore pretty black gown dresses. I didn't even know they were the dancers. All the guys inside were clean and middle-upper class looking...(not that you have to actually be middle-upper class to look that way). There was one stage with two poles and it was bottoms on and some of the girls even left thier top on! It seemes optional. They definitely weren't the newbies. And guys were not allowed to touch them. This is the coolest part... the girls were all tattooed and pierced and they played rock and metal. They were healthy, didn't look drugged out, and even looked like they were having fun. The other girls in the gowns would go up to the stage and have thier friends I guess dance on them, and once I saw a girl plop down right there indian style and chat for a second. The VIP room where the girls get naked was by INVITATION ONLY! The girl has to not only like the guys money, but like the guy as well. My boyfriend has a friend who's girlfriend works there. She said she averages 500-700 a night. She's experienced, but still.

So...

I don't have to get naked. No one touches me. I just dance and I get paid. Hell I'll go topless I don't care about boobs. I don't have to take my bottoms off, that's the big point. And there were bouncers everywhere. I could work friday night and saturday night, do a quarter of the work and make ten times the money. It would satisfy all my goals.

Here's the only cons:

1. My boyfriend. He's not jealous but I know deep down he's way too concerned about his image and what others think of him. I know jealosy would be minimal.

2. The image/title. People don't think, "Exotic Dancer." They think "Stripper/Whore"

I could care less. I'm focused and not dirty in any way. But my boyfriend would care about my image, and him being with me. I know it.

Most of the usual cons associated with that job don't apply to this club.

This is what I told my boyfriend:

I have goals, and I am going to do what I need to do to accomplish them. If I can do it without breaking my back and having anxiety attacks, all and all way easier than I originally imagined, I am jumping on it and getting it done. If he can make more than 30-40 grand a year so that he can help me help myself instead, or think of a better idea I'll welcome it. Until then... this a pretty good win-win situation. I am not going to kill myself working my butt off, still not getting far enough ahead as I need to be, so that his sensibilities can be pampered and whatever traces of jealosy unchecked and not tampered with, WHEN I don't HAVE to do so.

My friends all think it's a cool idea. Even my dad is cool with it. He's just concerned about safety. I figure, it'll take me about 3-6 months to get into good shape if I follow through with it. (I get in shape and stay in shape... another perk) By then if I still think it's a good idea I'm gonna audition. I weigh 130 lbs and I'm 5'3". All my fat goes to my hips and thighs. So I'm changing my diet, running, using ankle weights, free weights and a jump rope. I can already feel a difference in just a week. I am also going to put a pole in my room. I didn't realize how good of a workout they are. There are entire excerisise programs designed around them that have nothing to do with stripping.

Okay I'm done. What say you? Any pros or cons I'm missing?

 

[monta]

Is it possible that it may come back to haunt you later on, I suppose it depends on the career path, you are taking, I know a teacher who lost her job because of something similar.

Maybe you could have a chat with one of the other dancers or better yet someone who has stopped dancing now and has started on there career,and get a better idea of what it is going to be like further along the road.

I think you are maybe underestimating the pressure you will be under from the establishment to reach targets,there is an old adage if something seems to be too good to be true , it probably isn't true, or something like that.

 

[Magic Man]

I don't know. I need to see photos before I make my decision.

But seriously, I'm not the best one to give advice on this. I think monta had a good idea with talking to a current or former dancer to get a firsthand account. Other than that, I can't see anything else really affecting you one way or the other.

I can't personally think of anything you haven't already. I just wish you luck with whatever you decide, and hey, at least you're getting in shape either way, right?

 

[Vasilisa Jade]

Is it possible that it may come back to haunt you later on, I suppose it depends on the career path, you are taking, I know a teacher who lost her job because of something similar.

That is quite possibly a con. I know you would never guess, but I am an English major. My strength is composition/editing/rhetoric and analysis. My specialization will be in that general area and one of the easiest careers to obtain is a professor in a community college. I'm sure it would depend on the college though. I don't think I'd want to be teaching at a christian college anyway. lol. I would never want to teach at an elementary/middle or high school. Most other jobs I don't believe it would matter much.

Maybe you could have a chat with one of the other dancers or better yet someone who has stopped dancing now and has started on there career,and get a better idea of what it is going to be like further along the road.

Oh I know I'm on it.

I think you are maybe underestimating the pressure you will be under from the establishment to reach targets,there is an old adage if something seems to be too good to be true , it probably isn't true, or something like that.

You missed the detail about me having 4+ years sales experience didn't ya? LOL. I am very accustomed to dealing with pressure to hit goals. From the research I have done online though, it is pretty much your own business. You have to set your own goals.

I did think about the too good to be true thing. There are bad points to every job. I just honestly cannot see it (at this club) being worse that waitressing though. I honstly think I am more dehuminized as a waitress and sales rep than I would be as a dancer. They have way more protection from abuse on the job than I have at my jobs. If they do feel dehumanized sometimes which I'm sure they do, well... they at least get paid well to deal with it right before the ******* is thrown out.

The girls could be crazy and catty and drugged out. But, I could ignore it. I've had crazy chick friends plenty of times that no one else liked. Management could be crazy. In which case I could leave politely and hunt for a better club with the same benefits without crazy management. LOL. From the feel of the place though, and them being around for forever, I can't imagine the people not being laid back and cool just like it felt though.

 

[Vasilisa Jade]

I don't know. I need to see photos before I make my decision.

Mwahahaa! Such a diabolical guy thing to say. lol.

and hey, at least you're getting in shape either way, right?

Heck yeah!

 

[Trey of Diamonds]

The biggest issue has little to do with the stripping or even the social stigma that comes with it, it is safety. While in the stripping industry you will be exposed to some of the worst elements in society. While it is hard to minimize this in the clientele, it is important to ensure the management of the establishment is ok. Some will purposefully get the girls hooked on drugs in order to control them and keep them working for their habit. From there it moves into prostitution and so on and so forth.

So, the key is to research the establishment and its management prior to starting.

 

[Vasilisa Jade]

The biggest issue has little to do with the stripping or even the social stigma that comes with it, it is safety. While in the stripping industry you will be exposed to some of the worst elements in society. While it is hard to minimize this in the clientele, it is important to ensure the management of the establishment is ok. Some will purposefully get the girls hooked on drugs in order to control them and keep them working for their habit. From there it moves into prostitution and so on and so forth.

So, the key is to research the establishment and its management prior to starting.

Thank you so much. That was the idea my dad was trying to form, but didn't quite get there. He basically asked me, "You know that is dangerous and the owners of those places are usually involved in prostitution right?" But he didn't come out and say it.

I am sure I can find out anything I need to know before hand about management from the girl my boyfriend knows. We are all going to go hang out sometime soon so I can meet her.

Yeah, and I thought about the scum in the clientele too. Even well to do people and well to do acting people are hideous scum bags and the girls have to be careful of psycho's and stalkers and rapists and all other kinds that become obsessed and follow them or whatever.

I have never had a problem with addiction. And I've tried enough drugs to realize if I did. lol. I got addicted to latte's once... No but seriously, the hardest drugs I will touch are psychadelics (-sp?) and that is once in a blue moon. Others I won't go anywhere near.

A good friend of mine from a previous job used to be a manager of a dirty-dirty strip club off in the outskirts of the county, and he told me that in the place like that which attract scum and mainly dirty truckers, the girls get hooked on drugs due to being so dehuminized. He said it was constant. He was having to throw people out every hour. As much as he tried to protect them from abuse, it was just constant. It was the clientele that was there. He said they had to be on something to deal with the people. I remember talking about it when I was thinking about it a few years ago, and the stories he told me was what detered me completely. I had no idea that classy places with such high protection and girls with total control even existed.

I have good martial arts training and a switchblade. I'll have enough money to get a small handgun and my concealed weapons permit too. That should be good.

Spank you Trey!

 

[Valjean]

I doubt if anyone's going to care how you worked your way through school ten or twenty years from now. People aren't so concerned with propriety anymore. Your reputation will more likely be based on your competence in whatever field you go into.

It sounds like an option to consider -- flexible hours and a potential six figure salary, but an hour and a half is an awefully long commute. How are you going to deal with that?

 

[Trey of Diamonds]

Spank you Trey!

You're welcome.

Be sure to chat with the bouncers while looking around the place. These are the guys, and occasionally ladies, who will be watching your back. If you aren't comfortable with them you may want to reconsider.

 

[Vasilisa Jade]

I doubt if anyone's going to care how you worked your way through school ten or twenty years from now. People aren't so concerned with propriety anymore. Your reputation will more likely be based on your competence in whatever field you go into.

Good point.

It sounds like an option to consider -- flexible hours and a potential six figure salary, but an hour and a half is an awefully long commute. How are you going to deal with that?

Hun, the college I have completed mostly involved an hour and a half commute. lol. That's another one of the reasons I'm having a hard time working it into my schedule.

Thanks!

 

[Vasilisa Jade]

You're welcome.

Be sure to chat with the bouncers while looking around the place. These are the guys, and occasionally ladies, who will be watching your back. If you aren't comfortable with them you may want to reconsider.

Excellent idea once agian :flirt:

 

[Zephyr]

Speaking from experience, sometimes the management can be real dicks.

 

[Vasilisa Jade]

Speaking from experience, sometimes the management can be real dicks.

That's anywhere you work also. The management I had at the last restaurant I waitressed at were royal dick heads. The managenemt I had at radio shack, being a sales rep, were such flaming dicks that we had multiple customers call corporate to complain about the way they were treating us in front of customers.

 

[Vasilisa Jade]

Oh...

I told my boyfriend about how I am seriously considering that, and doing further research. He got a little bit more disturbed than what I expected. He just kept repeating:

"I'm not going to date a stripper."

"It's one thing to know someones a stripper before you date them, so you know what you are getting into, but a completely different thing to have a girlfriend get into it after the fact and change."

He said he wouldn't date a stripper even if no one knew she was one.

Then he started talking about how dirty of a business it is (duh ) and how girls will get addicted to cash. First they will just go topless then see how much money they can make bottomless and do that, then see how much they can make doing private parties and do that, then how much they can make hooking and get into that... etc. Basically, he committed the "slippery slope" fallacy. Like the exotic dancing is a gateway to worse things....

I was thinking... OMG!

#1 Slippery slope
#2 He was a decently well to do drug dealer for quite some time. As if that's not just as dirty, more dangerous, and totally illegal! He was talking about getting into it agian not less than a few months ago! He didn't, which I am glad of.
#3 He can't play that morality card on me. LOL. Refer to #2.
#4 I have been a waitress for 3+ years! That job has a nasty addiction to money associated with it. It's nice having a good amount of cash in hand for just one shift. The job is horrible, but that cash gets people stuck in it.

3-4 years ago, when waitressing was my primary job, I knew I had to get out and find something better. I took a massive pay cut and left to go to Radio Shack with plans from the very beginning to stay there just long enough to get the sales experience to go to a better company. I had a plan. lol. And it worked. I was there for exactly a year and then I was hired by at&t. It was perfect until they cut our pay, which threw me back into this situation...

but my point is... :shoutI don't get addicted to easy money! I have daggum friggen goals!!!

Arrrrgggggg! He's got me all flustered.... thinking I'm this litte frail girl with a frail ming that'll just walk up the gateway into being a hooker jacked up on drugs and lose my mind to being all crazy like and forget about college. If I stay like I am now I won't have a choice. Well I guess I will. Work with no college v.s work, poverty and college with poor grades.

 

[blackout]

Honey. Your life is your own. Own it.

You do what YOU feel is best for you.

I certainly would consider it, if I had the body for it.
I really love more classic burlesque though.
Doubt there's the same money in it.

 

[Vasilisa Jade]

Honey. Your life is your own. Own it.

You do what YOU feel is best for you.

I certainly would consider it, if I had the body for it.
I really love more classic burlesque though.
Doubt there's the same money in it.

Oh whatever! Body for it?!

You should fly down here right now and we'll give a whole new meaning to the "buddy system."

LOL

 

[Valjean]

Your boyfriend sounds very insecure. It's not your job to organize your life around his neuroses.

 

[Vasilisa Jade]

Your boyfriend sounds very insecure. It's not your job to organize your life around his neuroses.

Girlfriends and boyfriends so often do...

Yeah I think he might be more insecure than I realized. So far with other things I thought it was his self image as others see him. My bff pointed it out to me one day. But now I think he might have more insecurities with how he sees himself, possibly.

Maybe a "satanist" stripper girlfriend with 9 cats all together would just be too much. LOL.

He's so stupid! lol. He's not even religious! He's I think either agnostic or just plain secular. I don't believe he knows...

 

[Vasilisa Jade]

If he was stable and could go in half with me on living expenses etc., that would be different. He just barely got a job. I'll give him credit he's been doing well since he started, but he needs so many things... a car and a computer are on the top of the list. He's just trying to get his feet planted so that he can get his bachelors in graphic design and move away where there are good jobs for it. But ya know, I can't rely on him to help me out here and there if needed. He is too busy having to help himself.

 

[BucephalusBB]

If you were single, I'd scream go for it!
However, I can understand your boyfriend as I wouldn't want my girlfriend being stripper either.
I agree with UV that you have control over your own life. But from the moment you cared that your boyfriend didn't like what you were going to do, he also has influence on your life, whether you like it or not.

You say you want to fight for your goals, and maybe your boyfriend is afraid that he is not part of your goals. I can imagine that he has you as goal. I can also imagine he wants to be your goal.
If you are sure he will lleave you or be too much dissappointed when you go through with this, it changes to "goals vs boyfriend". Doesn't make it easier, but then you have to decide if your goals are that important that you are willing to give up your boyfriend for it.

And if you are willing to give up your boyfriend for strippig, in all fairness, you should do so immidiatly.