Advice on possible stripping career please

[Storm]

3-foot rule? Like, the customers can't get within three feet of the dancers? That would make lap dances tricky.

 

[IF_u_knew]

I think whatever choice you make will be the right one for you.. My sister worked as a "dancer" and I have seen it go both ways for the girls that we got to know. Two of the girls that we became close with have turned into lovely women with families and you would never guess that they worked as strippers. I have also seen girls who went into it and due to insecurities that they may or may not have known they had, it completely destroyed their lives. It is not an easy thing to get up in front of the opposite sex for the sole purpose of being gawked at. They will be judging you and comparing you... they will ask you to do things that will make you feel worthless.. they will make you feel that you are there for them and not the other way around. One has to be VERY confident in who they are as well as have a stable and supportive home base, meaning family and friends who will not turn their back on you, especially on those nights that you are feeling at your lowest (because no matter how beautiful, smart, etc that you are.. there *will* be many of those nights).

On the flip side, if you are charming (this counts more so than beauty) and are easily able to separate business from pleasure, well.. there is good money to be made. Just be cautious as to where you work. There are many shady places that seem respectable *ahem* and yet you will find yourself being comprimised in ways that you had not thought of.

I guess mostly what I am trying to say is, if you are actually going to do this.. be VERY informed. Go check out the places that you think you would like to work at (take your boyfriend.. in most places it is a must) and talk to the girls, gaging their reactions to the enviroment. Then, inform all those who are close to you so that you can have that support after the nights where your self worth seems to fall to the floor one too many times. Though I personally never had it in me to do (I do not like so much to be noticed), I did not ever see my sister or her friends as anything less than what they were... women who were just looking for a way to support their children, or their way through school, or just for the experience. I did not find reason to judge what they did up against who they actually were. Most of them would have given their last dollar to someone who really needed it and that says more about them then their choice to work in that industry. It ultimately is your life and your choice.. if there is little to do in talking someone out of it, the best thing to do is inform them, thus, I hope I have helped in some way. Good luck in whatever it is you decide

(BTW, as I said, I never worked as a "dancer" <---- the term you soon will be apt to calling yourself as you find that you no longer want to be known as a stripper; I was just very observant of the reactions of those who did.)

 

[3.14]

for prostitution here if i remember correctly the client needs to engage bodely contact not the stripper, so the stripper gets payed to "rub and arouse" the client, but the client does not pay for the privilege to touch the strippers body

 

[Engyo]

3-foot rule? Like, the customers can't get within three feet of the dancers? That would make lap dances tricky.

Like I said, I never observed anyone actually obeying that law.

 

[Vasilisa Jade]

They will be judging you and comparing you... they will ask you to do things that will make you feel worthless.. they will make you feel that you are there for them and not the other way around.

People are malicious idiots. There will be a shift in exposure compared to what I'm used to I'm sure.

Right now customers have a funny way of being little smartasses, and slipping in insults, that make you want to knock thier teeth out. There have been quite a few that have gotten out of control, and we did have to kick them out of the store. But most will keep it under control just so that they can get away with staying there and berating you the entire time you are trying to solve thier problem or figure out what the hell they want (cause they have no idea). An hour or two later you are ready to blow your brains out by the time you get them out of your sight. That's at at&t. It's not so quite of a close interaction serving, but equally as bad, because they can berate and insult you relentlessly, WHILE purposely making you run all over the restaurant at thier beckon call. Usually I just give them the attention they actually need, pay atention to my tables who are cvivlized and will actually tip me for the work I'm doing, and take the complaint and get stiffed. Every once in a while you will get tricked though. They're nice, talkative, happy, don't run you much, and then they get the bill and all of a sudden everything, including you, sucked.

In relation to this, in dancing if someone does insult me or something, I'd simply walk away and ignore them the rest of the night, and warn the other girls. If he has enough money to where one of them want to deal with him, they will know what they are getting into. If it gets worse you tell management or the bouncers. If they don't support you, you say "bye bye!"

That would be the advantage of it not being your only means of income. I'm sure that is another angle that some management knows they can use agianst the girls. They can't just leave that easy.

 

[black cat royalty]

A few friends of mine have worked as strippers to pay their way through college. At first it does really seem like easy money, but there are a lot of concerns.

1. You're constantly objectified and viewed as a sex object, which can effect your self-esteem and body image. No one considers a stripper for her mind, or will give thought to your personality. You become an ornament to look at. If it's very short-term, maybe that won't be a problem, but it's hard to take a few months, or longer, of people gaping at your breasts and crotch instead of your eyes when you speak to them.

2. The money - I'm not sure how the particular club you're considering works but many require the strippers to purchase their own costumes, and those don't come cheap. Adding up the costumes, lingerie, shoes, plus the establishment's various fees, plus taxes, you're not going to get as much as you think. Some places also punish the girls with fines, such as docking you $100 for being late.

3. Again, I don't know about your club's VIP room, but most clubs have a quota you need to meet, ie: 5 VIP dances per hour.

4. It's a very, very easy route to prostitution. I only know one girl who did not end up in prostitution from stripping. Once you see the money being offered, it becomes a small step. You'll also be working with prostitutes. Furthermore, not all but some strip clubs have connections with traffickers - they are notoriously places to bring girls who are for sale or who need to be transported elsewhere. Of course not every club does that, but you'll be working in the same industry as human traffickers, and funneling money into the industry that supports sex slavery.

5. Things will be different once you've done it. Even if you don't place a lot of value on innocence, you'll notice that you see people and the world differently. Whether that's a big deal to you now or not, it will be an obvious change. Others will look at you differently, too. Not everyone, but some people.

I'd suggest doing some research on it. While you're working on getting into shape, educate yourself about it. Read the literature from people who have worked in the sex industry. Read about where the money you'd be earning for the club goes. Get first-hand accounts. Make a few friends who are involved and ask what they think about it. Then decide.

 

[ayani]

Tigress, i'd be very, very careful.

places can seem beautiful and well-managed and perfectly fun on a vist, yet once you're in, things can change. yes, the money may be good, but you're worth more than any money you could earn dancing.

and handsome, upper-middle class professionals can be manipulative, twisted, and disrespectful as well. it's an environment where men are still going for entertainment and sexual excitement, and looking to you to supply it. it can be good money, but you are worth more than many benjamins, Saint.

 

[Tao]

Tigeress i did look at your photo albums that you have on your user profile and you are very attractive and it looks like you have what it would take. but i must agree with what others have said. you do need to think this out and it may take awhile. but if you really think about how it could affect your chance of getting future jobs and how it could affect you personally you WILL make the right decision.

Good Luck, hope all goes well!

 

[Vasilisa Jade]

2. The money - I'm not sure how the particular club you're considering works but many require the strippers to purchase their own costumes, and those don't come cheap. Adding up the costumes, lingerie, shoes, plus the establishment's various fees, plus taxes, you're not going to get as much as you think. Some places also punish the girls with fines, such as docking you $100 for being late.

3. Again, I don't know about your club's VIP room, but most clubs have a quota you need to meet, ie: 5 VIP dances per hour.

That's not cool. Sounds like a place taking advantage of girls who are too desperate to find a better location.

4. It's a very, very easy route to prostitution. I only know one girl who did not end up in prostitution from stripping. Once you see the money being offered, it becomes a small step. You'll also be working with prostitutes. Furthermore, not all but some strip clubs have connections with traffickers - they are notoriously places to bring girls who are for sale or who need to be transported elsewhere. Of course not every club does that, but you'll be working in the same industry as human traffickers, and funneling money into the industry that supports sex slavery.

Thank you. You have brought the first thing to my attention that I have a serious serious problem with.

5. Things will be different once you've done it. Even if you don't place a lot of value on innocence, you'll notice that you see people and the world differently. Whether that's a big deal to you now or not, it will be an obvious change. Others will look at you differently, too. Not everyone, but some people.

I already have a deep loathing for humans in general too often. I forsee it going further downhill versus uphill if I have to stay in foodervice and retail anyway. lol.

 

[3.14]

watch that deep loathing part though since you can only keep so much in, be sure to get an outlet for it

 

[Vasilisa Jade]

watch that deep loathing part though since you can only keep so much in, be sure to get an outlet for it

My co-workers and I ***** a lot in comical ways.

We could make a tv series about our office I swear.

It's a small town, and we've had customers one of us knows in there quite a few times, while one of us was on a rampage being dumb, talking about the place, the customers or whatever, and they're rolling laughing every time.

That's one thing I can't complain about. My co-workers . We keep each other sane. lol.

 

[Vasilisa Jade]

{{{{UPDATE}}}}

I'm still too fat in the hips and butt area to be a stripper.

I'm making more money and I eliminated the two jons problem by switching to full time at AT&T. I don't know why I didn't do that sooner.

Now I am just trying to find a way to fit in classes. I couldn't go this Fall cause amazingly my college isn't offering near as many online classes, and the class times just wouldn't coincide.

I am still working that out.

Still don' t know how I would feel about supporting the sex slave industry... I guess it would depend on my reasons for needing the money so bad.

Example: Dad needs surgery... gonna die without it, or such.

I'd probably go straight to hooking. No one would know though. My lips would be sealed.

But anyway... regardless I want to loose wieght.

I got a gym membership. Go me. One foot forward in the right direction.

 

[tumbleweed41]

For the record..... a lot of guys like hips and butts

But congrats on going full time! Hope things work out for college.

 

[Engyo]

You go, Miss Kitty! I will second Tumbleweed's note though. Haven't been lately, but when I did frequent the clubs, attitude and personality counted higher with me than the purely physical.

 

[Wandering_Wonderer]

Since I am suprising myself on how serious I am actually considering this... I figured I should post here so that I can think this through a little more in depth, with the input of my bestest best varietal group of intellegent internet friends. I'll try to keep this short and concise.

I work now at AT&T Mobility and Chili's Bar and Grill, sales rep/ server. AT&T alone wasn't cutting it and I had to start serving agian. I have two college classes left. I can't take them because of my schedule. If I fix my schedule (quitting serving) I can't take them cause of money... even with a pell grant. (Last year AT&T cut our pay). For over a month I have been working 6-7 days a week with at least one double shift. For the last year I have been averaging a minimum of 6-7 shifts a week with 1-2 days off. 2 days at best but I will still have double shifts.

I can't do this forever and I don't have the strength to do it and finish college at the same time. My grades would suffer horribly.

I can't replace waitressing with anything better cause my shifts at AT&T are so, all over the dam place it would be impossible to have somewhere work with it. I am lucky Chili's does. Even then I would be in the same boat. Working too much.

I have looked into replacing AT&T with something better. Problem is that I have been there for 2+ years, I have 4+ years experience in sales, wherever I went would be like starting seniority over agian. I would be the newbie. I would take a pay cut. Benefits might not be as good. *When a company starts laying off people they lay off the newbies.* That's the biggie. I have job security right now and I can't give it up with the way the economy is.

Sooo... here are my ultimate goals:

1. Finish college. I want my masters.
2. Get away from waitressing. It's the worst job in the world and drives me insane.
3.Make equal or greater income without sacrificing pay or benefits.
4. Get down to 2-3 days off a week like normal so I can complete school without going gray.

I thought for so long this was an impossible set of goals, that I lack the strength and determination to achieve...

Then me, my boyfriend, my best friend and her boyfriend went to a strip club an hour and a half away.

It was off in the cut down a side road with hardly a sign. It looked like an old pretty stone church. It was a club/restaurant/bar/strip club. All the guy employees were waering black and white tux looking clothes. When you walk in it doesn't even look like a strip club. When the girls weren't dancing they wore pretty black gown dresses. I didn't even know they were the dancers. All the guys inside were clean and middle-upper class looking...(not that you have to actually be middle-upper class to look that way). There was one stage with two poles and it was bottoms on and some of the girls even left thier top on! It seemes optional. They definitely weren't the newbies. And guys were not allowed to touch them. This is the coolest part... the girls were all tattooed and pierced and they played rock and metal. They were healthy, didn't look drugged out, and even looked like they were having fun. The other girls in the gowns would go up to the stage and have thier friends I guess dance on them, and once I saw a girl plop down right there indian style and chat for a second. The VIP room where the girls get naked was by INVITATION ONLY! The girl has to not only like the guys money, but like the guy as well. My boyfriend has a friend who's girlfriend works there. She said she averages 500-700 a night. She's experienced, but still.

So...

I don't have to get naked. No one touches me. I just dance and I get paid. Hell I'll go topless I don't care about boobs. I don't have to take my bottoms off, that's the big point. And there were bouncers everywhere. I could work friday night and saturday night, do a quarter of the work and make ten times the money. It would satisfy all my goals.

Here's the only cons:

1. My boyfriend. He's not jealous but I know deep down he's way too concerned about his image and what others think of him. I know jealosy would be minimal.

2. The image/title. People don't think, "Exotic Dancer." They think "Stripper/Whore"

I could care less. I'm focused and not dirty in any way. But my boyfriend would care about my image, and him being with me. I know it.

Most of the usual cons associated with that job don't apply to this club.

This is what I told my boyfriend:

I have goals, and I am going to do what I need to do to accomplish them. If I can do it without breaking my back and having anxiety attacks, all and all way easier than I originally imagined, I am jumping on it and getting it done. If he can make more than 30-40 grand a year so that he can help me help myself instead, or think of a better idea I'll welcome it. Until then... this a pretty good win-win situation. I am not going to kill myself working my butt off, still not getting far enough ahead as I need to be, so that his sensibilities can be pampered and whatever traces of jealosy unchecked and not tampered with, WHEN I don't HAVE to do so.

My friends all think it's a cool idea. Even my dad is cool with it. He's just concerned about safety. I figure, it'll take me about 3-6 months to get into good shape if I follow through with it. (I get in shape and stay in shape... another perk) By then if I still think it's a good idea I'm gonna audition. I weigh 130 lbs and I'm 5'3". All my fat goes to my hips and thighs. So I'm changing my diet, running, using ankle weights, free weights and a jump rope. I can already feel a difference in just a week. I am also going to put a pole in my room. I didn't realize how good of a workout they are. There are entire excerisise programs designed around them that have nothing to do with stripping.

Okay I'm done. What say you? Any pros or cons I'm missing?

I don't know if you have decided to do this or not yet. I have not read through all of the post. There are quite a few. But this is my two cents. I've been in that type of lifestyle. It is never as it seems. I promise you. Everything seems so great and wonderful and easy. It's not. At all. There is always the dirty secret part of the business whether escorting or stripping or whatnot. Even when it seems to be so upscale and they say that you don't have to do this or that, only what you feel comfortable with. If you wanna make money and keep clients then you have to do a lot more than you realize. And if you choose not to do certain things, like I did, then it is very difficult. Always trying to satisfy a man without losing yourself. That's what it felt like for me at least. If you think serving is the worst job in the world... hahaha.... then you have a big surprise coming to you! What's funny is I was a server and I used to work for ATT back when it was Cingular wireless. Weird. Anyway, you mention that you have a boyfriend. I had one too. Get ready to have a lot of issues in your relationship because of the job. We acctually broke up over a lot of anger and disrespect and blame and just soooo many problems that came from the lifestyle. I'm telling you it is never as easy as it looks. There is a very dark side to the sex industry. A very very dangerous side as well. I must admit that it can be alluring. But, It drained me dry. It was probably the hardest, most torturous, most exciting yet miserable time of my life. I'm lucky that I made it through okay. The wealthy high class tend to be the freakiest and demanding(and sometimes scary) when it comes to the sex industry. If you do want more details, have any questions, or need advice from someone who knows all to well then you can PM me because a lot of the stuff is too explicit to post. I wish you the best of luck in your future.

 

[Wandering_Wonderer]

5. Things will be different once you've done it. Even if you don't place a lot of value on innocence, you'll notice that you see people and the world differently. Whether that's a big deal to you now or not, it will be an obvious change. Others will look at you differently, too. Not everyone, but some people.

Wow that is so very much true.

 

[linwood]

Hmm...I dated my wife for two years then married her when she was stripping.
I never had any issues with it.

I guess it depends on the people and the place.

 

[Wandering_Wonderer]

Hmm...I dated my wife for two years then married her when she was stripping.
I never had any issues with it.

I guess it depends on the people and the place.

I think it does majorly depend on the people and place, mainly the people and the situation in general. I'm assuming that she didn't start in the business because you lost your job and didn't want to make any effort to find one, so in turn leaving her with (seemingly) no other choice. That was my situation so that may be why we had such issues. Also he didn't want me to go into the business and so I think he lost respect for me maybe. But I lost respect for him as well for not getting his butt up and getting a job. Bad situation, could have made another choice but... didn't see it at the time. Also what I did was way more difficult emotionally and a lot more dangerous than just dancing. But I think that a lot of girls do not realize that even in strip clubs they tend to expect more than just a dance. I'm glad that you and your wife ended up fine through it all. I wish I could have said the same. It gave me some interesting learning experiences i guess.

 

[Neo-Logic]

Just do it. You're not hurting anyone or anything, other than superficial social constructs which doesn't equally apply to everyone. Don't worry about the stigma on your job employments. Just don't even mention the new job if you don't want to. Just have a gap in your work history and call it as taking time off to focus and get through school. As far as they know, you'll have all the other experiences you wish to present.

Should it ever does come up, it can always be a selling point rather than a pitfall. You can use it to show that you've got determination to get the job done in a creative fashion.

Good luck if you decide to go that route. May many 20's come your way and may you never run into those coin tippers!!

 

[blackout]

{{{{UPDATE}}}}

I'm still too fat in the hips and butt area to be a stripper.

I'm making more money and I eliminated the two jons problem by switching to full time at AT&T. I don't know why I didn't do that sooner.

Now I am just trying to find a way to fit in classes. I couldn't go this Fall cause amazingly my college isn't offering near as many online classes, and the class times just wouldn't coincide.

I am still working that out.

Still don' t know how I would feel about supporting the sex slave industry... I guess it would depend on my reasons for needing the money so bad.

Example: Dad needs surgery... gonna die without it, or such.

I'd probably go straight to hooking. No one would know though. My lips would be sealed.

But anyway... regardless I want to loose wieght.

I got a gym membership. Go me. One foot forward in the right direction.

hehe... you typed jons... instead of jobs. lolol