Be Offended By the Post Above You

[Wu Wei]

I meant what I said,
and I said what I meant
This Statue is offended
One hundred percent.

 

[Revoltingest]

You're offensive, that is true
even when the sky is blue.
You're offensive on a bus
where you've been often known to cus.
Behave yourself, demanding wench
who's bigger round than Judi Dench!

 

[Wu Wei]

From there to here,
from here to there,
offensive things are everywhere.

 

[Revoltingest]

You're so glib that I'm offended
by the drivel you've appended!

 

[4consideration]

Clench your rake 'til your face turns blue.
That's what you always seem to do.
Keep your cans of offensive Spam.
I'll take the bacon and the honey ham.

 

[Revoltingest]

Spam is great! Here have some...
It's even flavoring Wrigley's gum!
You could eat it in some soup
in a bowl with Betty Boop
painted gayly on the side.
All those piggies for you died!

 

[Awoon]

Not this week.

 

[Revoltingest]

I'm offended that....that....uh.....what was I saying?

 

[4consideration]

You were talking about canned meat.
You were saying that it's sweet.
You were offending me like before.
You'll do it again. That's for sure.

 

[Revoltingest]

I take offense at your temerity,
& your tone of harsh severity!
So be much kinder to my Spam
for Revoltingest I am!

 

[4consideration]

I will not bow to your precious Spam.
If I don't like it, Spam I will slam.
Disliking my tone is just plain silly.
I expect more from a guy named Willy.

 

[Revoltingest]

Your expectations are too high!
I'm a low born kind of guy.
And Spam is what we love to eat
with a scofflaw or tax cheat.

 

[4consideration]

Would you eat it with a Pub?
Could you eat it with a cub?
Will you eat it with a Dem?
Should you treat it like a gem?

I do not like these posts of Spam.
I do not like them Spammin' Man!

 

[Revoltingest]

I think you're learning now perhaps.
At least you're using proper caps
for Spam, which is a proper name,
she who thinks my meat is lame!

 

[4consideration]

I'm going now to slumberland
while you sit there, Spam in hand.
Enjoy it please, that meat from can.
I tell you now, I'm still no fan!

 

[Wu Wei]

A Haiku is best
Not all this silly rhyming
Now go eat your spam


I almost forgot
This rhyming is offensive
Now stop it eat spam

 

[Revoltingest]

It is offensive that you eschew Seussesque rhyming!

The momentum is now broken!

 

[Thief]

Thank heavens!
All that poetry with my green eggs and ham!
Set my head to a spinning....
To the floor with a wham!

 

[Sumit]

You should be offended for that.

 

[Thief]

You should be offended for that.

Oh yeah...that's right!

And I am sooooooooo offended.

Now I need something for my stomach AND the lump on my head.