Be Offended By the Post Above You

[Brickjectivity]

Leftimies is a great big strong man! His sesquipedaliapalps are no smaller than yours.

 

[Leftimies]

I took a stand for cats, yet was labeled the enemy! "Treacherous abomination! Champion of the loathsome craft!", they howled; cast out, thrown astray, I found myself without allies.

How offending! Do you not know, who I am? Pay attention, for I am Leftimies, the greatest of the Seven Feline Deities!! My retributions shalt be bestowed upon ye, the revenge most severe!

 

[Simurgh]

Ok you two, this is not some cartoon fantasy you are indulging in here. leave the felidae out of your musings about imponderables, you are encroaching upon my domain. that never ends up in a good place. admit it, you are rank amateurs in the realms of indwelling deities and cannot apprehend the oneness that is shen.

lefty, you simply suffer from an offensive case of delusion of grandeur.

brick, you have those endearing verbosity attacks that put you right into weewee's camp of atrociousness. cut the crap. send catniop in support of the troops of Hel and sit back and stay out of the way when retribution falls upon the lesser life forms. you're a brick, you have no dog in that little skirmish.

 

[Leftimies]

Simurgh-chan, you are sadly mistaken. My deityhood is true, since my identity as a theist does not conflict with it. Your identity as an atheist denies you access to the power of Mantra! Preposterous proposal to claim the contrary!

Just because you and the rest rebellious Deities have casted me out of my throne, doesn't mean I won't reclaim it.

 

[Simurgh]

Little boy, your deity-hood is illusion—as you should know if you are actually into that dharma sort of thing. Moi, on the other hand –in my Atheist Triple Goddess mode—can invent any religious claptrap I want, because it is within my purview of reality as I create it from now to then.

So don’t be offensive and patronize me. I am HER, you are just a little furry eared disciple who got lost on the path to enlightenment.


… you should have turned left after Harjun Stadion.

 

[Leftimies]

Pfffft, preposterous, again. I am appalled. Everything is illusion, ergo nothing is; everything is real, thus nothing is. Only thing that brings separation to our deity-status is that mine is coherent and your is nonsense XD i mean...atheist goddess?? Come on! You can do better than that! Tch!

I got lost on the path to enlightenment, but you never were on it XD HA!

 

[Simurgh]

You are appalled, how nice. I am good with that.

I am not on the path of enlightenment because I don’t have the illusion that it exists. That is totally your problem. And I can be any kind of goddess I want to be since I know none of them are real. See? You need enlightenment, I don’t since I have it already.

Now let’s get serious. When are you going to send me my catnip?

 

[Leftimies]

I hate rivals, they always trump me. I feel offended again. Oh well, my retributions remain unmatched.

I will not send you catnip, I refuse to, I send you retributions! Ugh...I have said it for so many times, are you not paying attention? Are you ignoring me?? Is what I say NOT IMPORTANT??? D: How rude!

 

[Simurgh]

of course i am ignoring you. it offends me to think that you are still lost on the path when i am waiting for my favorite mind enhancer. then again, I'll just have some chocolate and ignore you some more.

 

[Leftimies]

Sounds like a plan! I will ignore you back! >: (( Bwaaaaaaaa!
Your maliciousness offends me! No more catnip for you.

 

[Simurgh]

:angel2:ignore mode:angel2:

 

[Brickjectivity]

Since nothing offends you, why are you posting? Mods!

 

[Leftimies]

Brick, I am offended by the fact that while you prosecute Simurgh for not being offended, you don't show any resentment either - just some mere technicalities and upholding forum rules! Tch! Ah, the hypocrisy!

Can't I go one day without getting offended?? Seriously??

 

[Brickjectivity]

I'm terribly sorry to have offended you, but its no excuse for you to write a baby whiner scripture. Don't talk through your nose, please. Nobody wants to hear that noise.

 

[Simurgh]

Lefty, Brick picks on me with inane comments signifying nothing because he is practicing for the big day when he has something real to say. It’s that simple. He gets offended for all the wrong reasons and then just uses my glorious cattiness to vent. Been there; seen that; ignored it.



You on the other hand are just a primadonna. Everything offends you if someone else besides you says it. You must be really young or really insecure. Probably all that navel gazing you do, leaves you off kilter. Losing touch with reality on this plane of existence, hmm? On the other hand, you could just be jealous because I am just great and I carry off the furry thing way better than you ever could.

 

[Revoltingest]

You young upstart! Diagnosing the faults of fellow posters is MY job!
Now, back off, ya catnip sniff'n sandbox pollute'n ball'o claws!

 

[Leftimies]

Simurgh, I am not primadonna - I just happen to be incredibly exquisite! How could you not tell these two apart - or were you blinded by the very rays of my delight?? How offensive, oh! Stop staring at me, it will deprive you of sight. See? This proud, exquisite elegance is the most delicate core of cattiness. Take notes.

And Revolt!!! Stop claiming territory like an obsessive madman! This is internet, this is freedom, this is for everyone!

 

[Revoltingest]

And Revolt!!! Stop claiming territory like an obsessive madman! This is internet, this is freedom, this is for everyone!

You may do as you wish, so long as you don't encroach upon my domain!
I give the diagnoses around here!

 

[Simurgh]

Revolt-me-not, the bacon fumes getting to your head a bit? I shall take offense wherever and whenever I deign to do so. No shovel wielding, wilt disgracing, rake abusing, drooling and doddering geezer will tell me otherwise. And while I’m at it, stop covering the catnip with straw, it’s not strawberries you’re dealing with.

Short furry one, you are not exquisite. You confuse scrawniness, bad posture, and protruding eyes with grace and panache. Stop going to the funhouse to look in mirrors and use a real one. A tiger leaping at her prey is exquisite, so is a Siamese languidly stretched out on her silk pillow toying with a dog’s ear. But you??....use a mirror and stop offending my sensibilities.


Does it really take two men(?) to go after one cat goddess? My superiority is asserted once more, HA!!

 

[Revoltingest]

You may take offense all you want.
But I, & I alone diagnose shortcomings of our ilk!