Bisexuality - Is it a thing?

[Nymphs]

I've been told that bisexuals don't really exists, that we are really straight or gay and just "pretending", that we are easy, that we just want to have sex, etc.

How do you feel about bisexuality?

Personally, I know for a fact, it's an orientation. I've been attracted to males and females since I was a little girl. I'm not easy (actually, pretty hard, lol), and I'm not lying or pretending.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

I think of it the same way I do hetero and homo, and all the other wild, unnecessary terms out there.

 

[Drolefille]

Yes it's a thing, and IME the "not real" thing comes from two places:
1) Studies that were done in gay male spaces that found gay men who were coming out by "transitioning" through identifying as bisexual.
2) The fact that statistically bi people will end up in a heterosexual relationship more often than not. This also leads to some bi prejudice from within the LGBT community.

 

[Parsimony]

If there are people attracted to men and people attracted to women, why couldn't there be people who are attracted to both? I see no reason to deny that. If someone tells me what they find attractive, how can I know their own desires better than they do?

 

[Nymphs]

I think of it the same way I do hetero and homo, and all the other wild, unnecessary terms out there.

Why do you think they are unnecessary?

 

[The Sum of Awe]

Why do you think they are unnecessary?

If you use the words in a wrong way, thousands will call you out, offended.

But seriously; I can understand classifying homosexuality, heterosexuality, and maybe an account for bisexuality. But I've heard so many words that it really just seems like a big joke and everyone wants to be sexually unique and create more complicated terms to stem off describing themselves.

It goes from: "Mom? Dad? I'm homosexual"

To: "Mom? Dad? I am a pansexual transgendered homosexual-lenient polygamist" blah blah blah.

 

[Drolefille]

If you use the words in a wrong way, thousands will call you out, offended.

But seriously; I can understand classifying homosexuality, heterosexuality, and maybe an account for bisexuality. But I've heard so many words that it really just seems like a big joke and everyone wants to be sexually unique and create more complicated terms to stem off describing themselves.

It goes from: "Mom? Dad? I'm homosexual"

To: "Mom? Dad? I am a pansexual transgendered homosexual-lenient polygamist" blah blah blah.

Or we just use language to describe ourselves.

 

[kashmir]

To: "Mom? Dad? I am a pansexual transgendered homosexual-lenient polygamist" blah blah blah.

You forgot the main one which changes everything "Mr" or Mrs"

 

[Nymphs]

If you use the words in a wrong way, thousands will call you out, offended.

But seriously; I can understand classifying homosexuality, heterosexuality, and maybe an account for bisexuality. But I've heard so many words that it really just seems like a big joke and everyone wants to be sexually unique and create more complicated terms to stem off describing themselves.

It goes from: "Mom? Dad? I'm homosexual"

To: "Mom? Dad? I am a pansexual transgendered homosexual-lenient polygamist" blah blah blah.

It's quite natural for humans to categorize ourselves, we always have. And these words helps others to better understand us and what we mean, IMO.

Pansexual is a sexuality.

Transgender is a way to describe being born in the wrong gender.

And polygamist is a type of relationship.

I'm curious to know how anyone of these are complicated?

 

[Nymphs]

Or we just use language to describe ourselves.

You have given out too many Frubals in the last 24 hours, try again later.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

It's quite natural for humans to categorize ourselves, we always have. And these words helps others to better understand us and what we mean, IMO.

Pansexual is a sexuality.

Transgender is a way to describe being born in the wrong gender.

And polygamist is a type of relationship.

I'm curious to know how anyone of these are complicated?

I know, and I'm not against categorization. I'm simply saying that there are certain irrelevant categorizations.

 

[Thana]

I've been told that bisexuals don't really exists, that we are really straight or gay and just "pretending", that we are easy, that we just want to have sex, etc.

How do you feel about bisexuality?

Personally, I know for a fact, it's an orientation. I've been attracted to males and females since I was a little girl. I'm not easy (actually, pretty hard, lol), and I'm not lying or pretending.

When I was a teenager, all my friends went through their 'bi phase' so for a long time I thought bisexuality wasn't an actual thing. They were just experimenting.

But I know now that Bisexuality is real. A bit hard to determine who's truly bi when they're young, But it's still a real sexuality. Plus, It's a bit illogical to say that people can be hetero and homo but not both.

 

[Nymphs]

I know, and I'm not against categorization. I'm simply saying that there are certain irrelevant categorizations.

Which ones in particular? I'm curious. :yes:

 

[Badran]

I think of it the same way I do hetero and homo, and all the other wild, unnecessary terms out there.

If you use the words in a wrong way, thousands will call you out, offended.

But seriously; I can understand classifying homosexuality, heterosexuality, and maybe an account for bisexuality. But I've heard so many words that it really just seems like a big joke and everyone wants to be sexually unique and create more complicated terms to stem off describing themselves.

It goes from: "Mom? Dad? I'm homosexual"

To: "Mom? Dad? I am a pansexual transgendered homosexual-lenient polygamist" blah blah blah.

If someone says "Mom? Dad? I'm homosexual", that would be understood as him/her being attracted to their same sex. If they're attracted to more than their own sex, and are not strictly homosexual, then the term is an inaccurate description for them, and unhelpful.

"Bisexual", "Pansexual" or any other identification then would be a necessity, and nothing short. This is how people communicate and distinct things from each other.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

If you use the words in a wrong way, thousands will call you out, offended.

But seriously; I can understand classifying homosexuality, heterosexuality, and maybe an account for bisexuality. But I've heard so many words that it really just seems like a big joke and everyone wants to be sexually unique and create more complicated terms to stem off describing themselves.

It goes from: "Mom? Dad? I'm homosexual"

To: "Mom? Dad? I am a pansexual transgendered homosexual-lenient polygamist" blah blah blah.

People use the words to describe themselves that they feel are the most fitting and sometimes it's more than one word or words that are more obscure. After all, gender and sexual orientation aren't black and white for everyone and it can hard to describe yourself using language.

It's like me. I'm pansexual, but I'm also queer because queer is a an umbrella term that can also include pansexuality. Queer is also a more explicitly political term that expresses rejection of heteronormativity and the gender-binary. As Wiki says: "Queer may be used by those who reject traditional gender identities as a broader, less conformist, and deliberately ambiguous alternative to LGBT."

Medically, I'm a transsexual because I view myself as wholly male/a man and my gender doesn't fluctuate, and I'm also changing my body to fit my perception of myself. But I'm also transgender because my gender expression isn't necessarily gender-normative. I do not fit into mainstream heterosexist, cissexist and macho standards of what a male/man is and never will.

 

[psychoslice]

Who cares about the labels, just do what feels right for you, why complicate things ?.

 

[Nymphs]

Who cares about the labels, just do what feels right for you, why complicate things ?.

I don't see how labeling myself as bisexual complicates anything? In fact, I feel it clarifies.

 

[Gehennaite]

It apparently is a thing, but I find it hard to believe bisexuals do not inevitably prefer one gender over another given enough time & experience, even if it is only a slight preference.

 

[LuisDantas]

I've been told that bisexuals don't really exists, that we are really straight or gay and just "pretending", that we are easy, that we just want to have sex, etc.

Gee. Back in the day wanting to have sex with people of both genders used to be a sure-fire sign of bisexuality.

Why do things have to be so complicated now?

that we just want to have sex, etc.

People wanting to have sex? I guess that is to be expected.

Not so sure about this "etc." stuff, though. Are you sure it is ok? And if so, can I have some?

How do you feel about bisexuality?

All kidding aside, I can only assume people feel unconfortable in admitting its existence. I see no other possible reason for attempting to deny it.

My best guess is that it is a holdover from that period in childhood when we realize that maybe mom and dad do not have eyes only for each other and feel troubled and guilty for even thinking of that as a possibility.

Some people have a hard time justifying their own couplings, and therefore attempt to deny the very existence of any chance of their mates having any trace of desire for anyone else. They feel helpless against the idea.

I wish people reflected a bit more and spoke more often and with less angst about the so many other things that may make people connect succesfully beyond sex. Far too many couples end up aiming to avoid fear and questioning instead of enjoying each other's company. And far too many people end up having to pretend not to know that.

The bottom line is that yes, it is very possible to be faithful to one's spouse while all the same feeling attracted to other people and being so very aware of it. Faithfulness is not a matter of failing to notice people, or at least it should not be.

(That is a good subject for another thread, incidentally; whatever faithfulness is, it obviously involves a lot more and perhaps a lot less than sexual exclusivity)

So my take on it is that people are people. I can't blame them for feeling attracted to others, although I suppose I might as well freely admit that it can be scary to notice an attraction that goes against my best hopes.

Whether those attractions involve one gender or both is quite a minor detail, except of course to the people directly involved.

Personally, I know for a fact, it's an orientation. I've been attracted to males and females since I was a little girl. I'm not easy (actually, pretty hard, lol), and I'm not lying or pretending.

Yes, I have heard that people are like that. Next thing you know they want to date, breed and raise children, can you imagine that.

 

[illykitty]

Definitely, I know I am bisexual at the very least sexually. I ended up in a heterosexual relationship, because that's who I fell in love with. Unless you're poly or into open relationships, you're going to end up with a gender or the other...

If you're mono, you're going to be with either a guy or a girl - each side is going to deny you liking the other gender? That's just silly!