Cheating on someone you're in a dating relationship with?

[-Peacemaker-]

Could somebody explain to me how someone who doesn't consider it a moral issue to have sex before marriage faces some huge moral dillema when he wants to "cheat" with someone he's not in the sacred dating relationship with? When did dating become bound by a sacred covenant as if it's a marriage?

 

[Breathe]

Pre-marital sex: With consent of both involved
Cheating: Without consent of partner


Cheating is deceitful. Pre-marital sex is not.


I'm married, btw.

 

[Alceste]

Could somebody explain to me how someone who doesn't consider it a moral issue to have sex before marriage faces some huge moral dillema when he wants to "cheat" with someone he's not in the sacred dating relationship with? When did dating become bound by a sacred covenant as if it's a marriage?

Nobody wants to be lied to, married or not. Deception is at the root of our collective distaste for 'cheating'. Romantic relationships are based on intimacy and trust. We can not trust people who say one thing (such as 'I am faithful') and do another (such as be unfaithful).

 

[-Peacemaker-]

Obviously I understand that there's a promise that's been made between people dating. What I don't get is how, without a pledge before God, it becomes much different that promising to take the garbage out on thursday.

 

[elmarna]

Nobody wants to be lied to, married or not. Deception is at the root of our collective distaste for 'cheating'. Romantic relationships are based on intimacy and trust. We can not trust people who say one thing (such as 'I am faithful') and do another (such as be unfaithful).

COULD NOT SAY IT ANY BETTER!!!!
MY hat off to you!!!!:clap

 

[yourhopeboundheart]

Obviously I understand that there's a promise that's been made between people dating. What I don't get is how, without a pledge before God, it becomes much different that promising to take the garbage out on thursday.

because sex is something more intimate that garbage. the bond people in a dating relationship share is supported by chemicals in their brains that solidify monogomous relationships. also, when someone cheats they expose not only themselves but their partner to the dangers of STD's that the person being cheated on does not know they are exposed to.

and if you promise to take the garbage out on thursday but you dont, it's reasonable enough to expect that you forgot. if you promise not to cheat on your partner and you do, it's not likely that you forgot the relationship altogether.

ultimately your comparison is invalid because one is about sex the other is about commitment.

 

[Father Heathen]

Could somebody explain to me how someone who doesn't consider it a moral issue to have sex before marriage faces some huge moral dillema when he wants to "cheat" with someone he's not in the sacred dating relationship with? When did dating become bound by a sacred covenant as if it's a marriage?

lol...is this a serious question? The two are not even remotely comparable. Cheating is wrong because you are being dishonest and deceitful with and betraying the trust of someone you made a commitment to. Relationships don't need a magic ritual in order to be meaningful.

 

[Father Heathen]

Obviously I understand that there's a promise that's been made between people dating. What I don't get is how, without a pledge before God, it becomes much different that promising to take the garbage out on thursday.

Are you honestly incapable of mutual love, trust and devotion without going through the motions of a magic ritual?

 

[sojourner]

Maybe the sex act, itself, goes much further toward creating a marriage than a court clerk, a minister, and a license...

 

[Alceste]

Obviously I understand that there's a promise that's been made between people dating. What I don't get is how, without a pledge before God, it becomes much different that promising to take the garbage out on thursday.

Well, seeing as (from my perspective, and as far as the evidence seems to show) your God exists only in your own mind, making promises before your 'god' is not at all different from my pledging to adhere to the ethical code that is also contained in my own head.

Also, promises I make to people who actually exist and can be hurt by my actions are far more important to me than promises made to my imaginary friends.

 

[Me Myself]

Obviously I understand that there's a promise that's been made between people dating. What I don't get is how, without a pledge before God, it becomes much different that promising to take the garbage out on thursday.

Because it would be a lot more emotionally damaging to the other person to cheat on her/him. To play with something that can be that damaging is outright cruel.

To be cruel to someone because you are horny is morally bad.

Blessings to All

 

[-Peacemaker-]

lol...is this a serious question? The two are not even remotely comparable. Cheating is wrong because you are being dishonest and deceitful with and betraying the trust of someone you made a commitment to. Relationships don't need a magic ritual in order to be meaningful.

I've spent nearly a lifetime subscribing to the popular religious belief of our day, worship of the brain(rationalism) as well as the worship of sex, which took the form of agnosticism in me. I've spent all my life surrounded by peers who've subscribed to those very same beliefs. I've seen NOTHING is those ways to lead me to believe they hold the key to meaningful relationships.

 

[Father Heathen]

I've spent nearly a lifetime subscribing to the popular religious belief of our day, worship of the brain(rationalism) as well as the worship of sex, which took the form of agnosticism in me. I've spent all my life surrounded by peers who've subscribed to those very same beliefs. I've seen NOTHING is those ways to lead me to believe they hold the key to meaningful relationships.

Nothing you're babbling about has anything to do with meaningful, committed relationships.

 

[-Peacemaker-]

Nothing you're babbling about has anything to do with meaningful, committed relationships.

Actually it has everything to do with it. The root of everything where talking about is mankind's attempt to do things that have moral value, including having meaningful relationships, in the absence of God. I'm saying it's impossible to do and that in God's absence brokeness in relationships becomes so normal that we don't even notice it.

 

[Father Heathen]

Actually it has everything to do with it. The root of everything where talking about is mankind's attempt to do things that have moral value, including having meaningful relationships, in the absence of God. I'm saying it's impossible to do and that in God's absence brokeness in relationships becomes so normal that we don't even notice it.

You must live a pretty sheltered life if you honestly think superstition is a prerequisite for possessing ethics, reason, compassion and empathy. Also, religious fundamentalists often tend to be horrible examples of morality.

 

[Me Myself]

I'm saying it's impossible to do and that in God's absence brokeness in relationships becomes so normal that we don't even notice it.

This is the thing, you may choose not to psychologycally traumathize a person you have good affection for because of various reasons:

1-You care for such person, and you won´t undermine this person´s trust because you are horny. this happens because when you trully care about such person seeing him/her hurt hurts you and seeing him/her happy makes you happy, so you wont do unto her/him what you don´t want done to you.

2-You won´t cheat on him/her because you are afraid what will happen after you die because of it.

Generally speaking, #1 which is bassed on compassion is the prime motivator to not harm your partner in affection even if you are feeling lust. You measure the importance of your lustfull desires and the importance of not harming another human being, and depending on you having or not enough compassion is what will come next.

It all goes down to compassion.

 

[Many Sages One Truth]

Could somebody explain to me how someone who doesn't consider it a moral issue to have sex before marriage faces some huge moral dillema when he wants to "cheat" with someone he's not in the sacred dating relationship with? When did dating become bound by a sacred covenant as if it's a marriage?

It's because our society places such emphasis on monogamy, that even if one isn't married, they should be committed to only one person. Personally, I feel marriage is a relic of a patriarchal society, and monogamy might be too. I haven't decided how I feel on that yet. Certainly the notion that monogamy is somehow better or less deviant then other expressions is the result of social norm.

 

[-Peacemaker-]

You must live a pretty sheltered life if you honestly think superstition is a prerequisite for possessing ethics, reason, compassion and empathy. Also, religious fundamentalists often tend to be horrible examples of morality.

If you mean sheltered in the sense that I had I did not concern myself about any God and was basically only surrounded by people who felt the same way then yes I was sheltered. What I learned was how sick the human heart really is and that though we may have a sense of ethics, really living it out is impossible. Unless of course we start changing our sense of ethics to fit our capabilities and/or desires. Sadly, I must agree that all too often the behavior of Chistians falls short of Christ's high standards.

 

[Father Heathen]

If you mean sheltered in the sense that I had I did not concern myself about any God and was basically only surrounded by people who felt the same way then yes I was sheltered. What I learned was how sick the human heart really is and that though we may have a sense of ethics, really living it out is impossible. Unless of course we start changing our sense of ethics to fit our capabilities and/or desires.

And so you presume that this applies to everyone who doesn't adhere to a traditional christian perspective?

 

[Azekual]

Could somebody explain to me how someone who doesn't consider it a moral issue to have sex before marriage faces some huge moral dillema when he wants to "cheat" with someone he's not in the sacred dating relationship with? When did dating become bound by a sacred covenant as if it's a marriage?

It's more about the broken trust than anything. Cheating breaks trust, and also has a worse stigma than pre-marital sex.