Cheating on someone you're in a dating relationship with?

[-Peacemaker-]

And so you presume that this applies to everyone who doesn't adhere to a traditional christian perspective?

Are you implying by asking this question that you are are you a righteous and holy person ? Are you suggesting that generally speaking, you are winning the battle we all wage in our heart to do the right thing verses the desire to do wrong?

 

[Father Heathen]

Are you implying by asking this question that you are are you a righteous and holy person ? Are you suggesting that generally speaking, you are winning the battle we all wage in our heart to do the right thing verses the desire to do wrong?

Yeppers. I am more righteous and holy than the abrahamic portrayal of god itself.

 

[Many Sages One Truth]

Yeppers. I am more righteous and holy than the abrahamic portrayal of god itself.

Given how many Abrahamics portray god that isn't hard to do

 

[sojourner]

Yeppers. I am more righteous and holy than the abrahamic portrayal of god itself.

In what way are you more set apart than God? Set apart from what, exactly, that God is not set apart from? Could you be a little clearer on this point?

 

[Acim]

Could somebody explain to me how someone who doesn't consider it a moral issue to have sex before marriage faces some huge moral dillema when he wants to "cheat" with someone he's not in the sacred dating relationship with? When did dating become bound by a sacred covenant as if it's a marriage?

I think most don't have moral dilemma of which you speak. I think it isn't that hard to understand really.

If in a more 'sacred type dating relationship' it becomes less simple to understand.

Issue with monogamy as (I would say dogmatic) practice is it can, rather easily, become all about 'specialness.' Or what Gollum would call 'my precious.' It is not really about trust or commitment, but on the surface I understand for many it is 'all it is about.' It is more about one or both partners putting this relationship above all others (all others) and when one or both do this, then cheating is seen as violation of the special relationship. Attempting to destroy the magic that is created in that special bond.

The 'sacred covenant' (even in dating) comes from how ego uses relationships to get what it needs. There is more to say about this, but I'll just leave it with idea that ego needs to fool (its) host into thinking this relationship is best version of 'oneness' that a human can ever hope to achieve.

 

[Draka]

Could somebody explain to me how someone who doesn't consider it a moral issue to have sex before marriage faces some huge moral dillema when he wants to "cheat" with someone he's not in the sacred dating relationship with? When did dating become bound by a sacred covenant as if it's a marriage?

Because premarital sex isn't immoral but deception is.

I think that's pretty much it. Premarital sex can be merely the act of love between two committed people. There is nothing wrong with that. A marriage certificate or a clergy person does not determine whether or not two people are in love and committed to each other. They do that. Only them. They are all that is required. If they have made that determination and then one cheats then that is a violation of that commitment and trust between them.

 

[no-body]

Actually it has everything to do with it. The root of everything where talking about is mankind's attempt to do things that have moral value, including having meaningful relationships, in the absence of God. I'm saying it's impossible to do and that in God's absence brokeness in relationships becomes so normal that we don't even notice it.

Just because you need a certain belief to function properly doesn't mean everyone else does too. Life will always contain problems and it is up to humanity to work through it, as slow and long as it takes. This is the problem with "God/Jesus" did it, it's intellectual laziness. We could solve everyone's problems if we lobotomized and programmed everyone at birth too, which is pretty much tantamount to what you are promoting in my eyes.

 

[Father Heathen]

In what way are you more set apart than God? Set apart from what, exactly, that God is not set apart from? Could you be a little clearer on this point?

I didn't say god. I said the abrahamic portrayal of god.

 

[Draka]

Obviously I understand that there's a promise that's been made between people dating. What I don't get is how, without a pledge before God, it becomes much different that promising to take the garbage out on thursday.

How do you think people get along without believing in your particular god concept anyway? Perhaps it is those who must pledge before your god that have issues with remaining trust-worthy and keeping promises. I mean, the rest of us can do it quite fine without pledging in front of your deity. Many non-Abrahamic people get along quite well in relationships, don't murder or rape or steal, can be nice and helpful to each other, and otherwise live good lives. All this without needing to pledge to your god anything. All without threat of punishment from your god either. If you feel you and others need the pledging to your god to keep you on the straight and narrow and faithful in your relationships, then perhaps you are the ones with morality issues.

 

[-Peacemaker-]

Just because you need a certain belief to function properly doesn't mean everyone else does too. Life will always contain problems and it is up to humanity to work through it, as slow and long as it takes. This is the problem with "God/Jesus" did it, it's intellectual laziness. We could solve everyone's problems if we lobotomized and programmed everyone at birth too, which is pretty much tantamount to what you are promoting in my eyes.

What standard do you use to determine if you are a moral person? Your own standards? If that's the case I'm not remotely surprised you measure up to it.

 

[Father Heathen]

What standard do you use to determine if you are a moral person? Your own standards? If that's the case I'm not remotely surprised you measure up to it.

I can tell you that morals based on reason and compassion are vastly superior to those based on the ancient superstitions of primitive savages.

 

[-Peacemaker-]

I can tell you that morals based on reason and compassion are vastly superior to those based on the ancient superstitions of primitive savages.

Prove it. What are your morals?

 

[Draka]

Prove it. What are your morals?

Are you admitting that your morals are not based on reason and compassion and that they are based on "ancient superstitions of primitive savages"? I find it humorous that you choose to tell him to prove his assertion rather than try to debate it. By not bothering to debate it and daring him to prove it you admit it. Personally I know I'd rather base my morals on reason and compassion...silly me huh?

 

[-Peacemaker-]

Are you admitting that your morals are not based on reason and compassion and that they are based on "ancient superstitions of primitive savages"? I find it humorous that you choose to tell him to prove his assertion rather than try to debate it. By not bothering to debate it and daring him to prove it you admit it. Personally I know I'd rather base my morals on reason and compassion...silly me huh?

If you know anything at all about the moral standard of Jesus you know it's based on the "golden rule." To love your neighbor as much as yourself, especially your enemies. It is at that paticular point (loving those who hate you) where it gets tough to live it out. Hence most people create their own beliefs and justify hating their enemies.

 

[-Peacemaker-]

I'm really just trying to find out if people's moral standards go beyond loving their friends and people that are nice to them. In my experience that's where people's love usually ends. I'm wondering if people believe in helping people that are down, even if no one else ever finds out about it.

 

[Draka]

If you know anything at all about the moral standard of Jesus you know it's based on the "golden rule." To love your neighbor as much as yourself, especially your enemies. It is at that paticular point (loving those who hate you) where it gets tough to live it out. Hence most people create their own beliefs and justify hating their enemies.

The "Golden Rule" is actually simply stated as "do unto others as you would have them do unto you". It permeates through religions and cultures. If you can understand that much then you should be able to figure out where and how other people get their morals. Also take into account compassion. The idea that you do no harm. Quite simply, premarital sex does no harm. As long as the sex is consensual there is no immoral action. However, if you cheat, that causes emotional harm to your partner. Very likely, if you were cheated on you would be emotionally harmed as well. So very simply, you don't cheat as you would not want the same thing done to you. If you find you cannot remain faithful then the moral thing to do would be to be respectful and break off the relationship entirely.

 

[-Peacemaker-]

The "Golden Rule" is actually simply stated as "do unto others as you would have them do unto you". It permeates through religions and cultures. If you can understand that much then you should be able to figure out where and how other people get their morals. Also take into account compassion. The idea that you do no harm. Quite simply, premarital sex does no harm. As long as the sex is consensual there is no immoral action. However, if you cheat, that causes emotional harm to your partner. Very likely, if you were cheated on you would be emotionally harmed as well. So very simply, you don't cheat as you would not want the same thing done to you. If you find you cannot remain faithful then the moral thing to do would be to be respectful and break off the relationship entirely.

I'll tell you who it does hurt, the kids that are born to parents that aren't married. How many kids grow up into criminals because they had no father around and were raised by a single mother? Seeing how so many of these kids end up is proof enough that maybe God wasn't alking out of is a** when he told people to zip it up until marriage.

 

[Draka]

I'll tell you who it does hurt, the kids that are born to parents that aren't married. How many kids grow up into criminals because they had no father around and were raised by a single mother? Seeing how so many of these kids end up is proof enough that maybe God wasn't alking out of is a** when he told people to zip it up until marriage.

Oh that's pure BS. Married people get divorced. Married people cheat and walk out on their spouses. Married people leave their children behind. It's not just single people that end up as single parents. AND children with married parents also end up as criminals. Kids with a father in their lives can be criminals too. There are wonderful couples who raise good and healthy children who are not married as well. Their are single parents who do great jobs with their kids too.

All said and done though, marriage has never prevented a person from cheating. Marriage has never stopped children being abused or left behind. Marriage is not a cure all for all that ails the world or its children.

 

[-Peacemaker-]

Oh that's pure BS. Married people get divorced. Married people cheat and walk out on their spouses. Married people leave their children behind. It's not just single people that end up as single parents. AND children with married parents also end up as criminals. Kids with a father in their lives can be criminals too. There are wonderful couples who raise good and healthy children who are not married as well. Their are single parents who do great jobs with their kids too.

All said and done though, marriage has never prevented a person from cheating. Marriage has never stopped children being abused or left behind. Marriage is not a cure all for all that ails the world or its children.

It's funny how Jesus says all these things are sins as well. He allows divorce ONLY in the case of infidelity.

 

[Draka]

It's funny how Jesus says all these things are sins as well. He allows divorce ONLY in the case of infidelity.

Wow, he sucks then. If I lived by that rule I'd either be dead right now or still suffering all forms of cruel abuse from my first husband. Oh wait, he did eventually cheat on me so I guess I'd be lucky enough to have an out on that one. My second husband, however, didn't cheat, he was just extremely jealous and controlling and emotionally and verbally abusive. But I guess that's okay right? Because there was no infidelity. I should still be married to him and being treated like crap and made to cry on a daily basis. I shouldn't be with the man I'm with now. I shouldn't have a wonderful family and two adorable kids. I shouldn't have any of that because I should still be married to an *******.