Choosing a child's religion vs. a child's career

[Quintessence]

Ultimately yes. I believe we are talking about when the child is still young,

Does it really matter? And is it really true that folks have as much choice in the first place?

Is a parent who knows nothing about Hinduism going to raise their child in that religion? No. Is a child who grows up in a culture where Hinduism is almost nonexistent and there's no community to support learning about it likely to walk a Hindu path later in life? No.

If you're born in the United States, probability suggests you're going to be born and raised in a Christian tradition. Probability also suggests that given it's a pluralistic and multicultural society, you might convert later because there's a high probability you'll be exposed to other ideas. If you're born in some other part of the world where one religion dominates and there is no multiculturalism or exposure to other paths, probability strongly suggests you're going to be raised in the cultural religion and stay that way. Things are not quite so open ended as we may like to think. At most, we only "choose" within a limited spectrum of what is available and accessible given circumstances. I would say that there is ultimately no choice at all, but spinning up the determinism wheel sort of kills this entire thread, so... let's just pretend we have free will like we usually do anyway.

 

[Tumah]

Does it really matter? And is it really true that folks have as much choice in the first place?

Is a parent who knows nothing about Hinduism going to raise their child in that religion? No. Is a child who grows up in a culture where Hinduism is almost nonexistent and there's no community to support learning about it likely to walk a Hindu path later in life? No.

If you're born in the United States, probability suggests you're going to be born and raised in a Christian tradition. Probability also suggests that given it's a pluralistic and multicultural society, you might convert later because there's a high probability you'll be exposed to other ideas. If you're born in some other part of the world where one religion dominates and there is no multiculturalism or exposure to other paths, probability strongly suggests you're going to be raised in the cultural religion and stay that way. Things are not quite so open ended as we may like to think. At most, we only "choose" within a limited spectrum of what is available and accessible given circumstances. I would say that there is ultimately no choice at all, but spinning up the determinism wheel sort of kills this entire thread, so... let's just pretend we have free will like we usually do anyway.

In a way I think you are right because you can't make a choice about something you aren't familiar with. If I never heard of Hinduism, the chances of me becoming Hindu are fairly slim. But the same could be said of growing up in an Amazonian tribe and becoming a plumber.

Still, in the modern world and the Information Age, everyone can find out everything about everyone else. And so, the spectrum of options to an individual is much wider than it would otherwise be. So I think the question here is: Given that we do have a relatively wide spectrum of choices to choose from, should I limit my child's options?

 

[Sees]

In a way I think you are right because you can't make a choice about something you aren't familiar with. If I never heard of Hinduism, the chances of me becoming Hindu are fairly slim. But the same could be said of growing up in an Amazonian tribe and becoming a plumber.

Still, in the modern world and the Information Age, everyone can find out everything about everyone else. And so, the spectrum of options to an individual is much wider than it would otherwise be. So I think the question here is: Given that we do have a relatively wide spectrum of choices to choose from, should I limit my child's options?

Have to have faith in them to figure it out. The rebellious stages are natural but there is always that part that wants parents to be proud and approving so they will usually give the "home team" a good chance.

 

[NIX]

Instead of trying to 'make' (or label) our children, it's so much nicer for everyone to simply get to know one another (as we each come to know our own selves).
It's something we do together as individuals.

 

[Twilight Hue]

A recent post in another thread reminded me of something that's puzzled me for a while now: generally, we consider it inappropriate to choose a child's career for him/her, but plenty of people don't have a problem with choosing a religion for them.

I think the same issues are at play in both: we recognize that a career can be a major part of a person's identity, and that it robs a person of self-direction to try to dictate what sort of adult the child will grow to be.

Isn't the same true for religion? Religious beliefs can be even more central to a person's identity than their career, so doesn't it disrespect the personhood of the child to try to dictate their choice of religion than it is to try to dictate their choice of career?

Thoughts? Is it fair to compare religion and a career this way?

I take it as inappropriate using love and caretaking as a lever to sway childern in a particular direction. Like threatening disownment or shunning to keep them in "line".

That said, the parents have a right imo to raise childern as they see their own personal world and spiritual views until such a time as where childern become old enough to start thinking for themselves.

 

[Tumah]

Have to have faith in them to figure it out. The rebellious stages are natural but there is always that part that wants parents to be proud and approving so they will usually give the "home team" a good chance.

I agree with this 100%

 

[Ingledsva]

Actually in most of these I answered the questions you posed. In two I gave an opinion.


I am well aware your religion is important to you. You need to look at this from another angle. What if your religion you were imposing on your child was Satanism, and your child chose Christianity for themselves? The point people are trying to make is that the child should be well rounded, and then make religious decisions for themselves when old enough to actually understand the choices.

And what if LSD actually has some extremely potent medicinal quality that might have prevented your son from getting glaucoma when he turns 65? That is not the right approach.

Being well rounded does not mean giving my children cocaine in case that is the right lifestyle for them. It means teaching my children the right thing with an awareness of the rest.

Why do you keep throwing red herrings into the debate? Not forcing your religion on your child - does not automatically lead to drugs and prison.

I am not combining religion with being a good person. What makes you think that?

Something you said earlier about why does he need religion if he can be a good person without it. I don't remember the exact quote. It doesn't matter.

I suggest you go back and re-read that, as I was suggesting just the opposite. You do not need religion to be a good person.

I am familiar with assisted suicide. In context though, we were talking about life paths, not after some drawn out deadly illness.

And again - go back and re-read what you wrote, and what I answered. I said "in some cases, yes." And I named euthanasia.



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[Ingledsva]

I take it as inappropriate using love and caretaking as a lever to sway childern in a particular direction. Like threatening disownment or shunning to keep them in "line".

That said, the parents have a right imo to raise childern as they see their own personal world and spiritual views until such a time as where childern become old enough to start thinking for themselves.

The only problem with this, and "most" Christians, - is the mind game - Hellfire.


They install from birth the idea that they are the only true religion, and if you sway from it you will be tortured in Hellfire forever.


Many people on this board have told their stories and how hard it was to leave Christianity, - not because they believed Christianity to be true, - but because they were afraid of Hellfire. That is psychological brainwashing.



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[Quintessence]

Many people on this board have told their stories and how hard it was to leave Christianity, - not because they believed Christianity to be true, - but because they were afraid of Hellfire. That is psychological brainwashing.

Sure. And there are also stories about how easy it was to leave Christianity and how we weren't threatened with Hellfire for doing so.

But people tend not to tell those stories because they are boring and unremarkable. And nobody pays attention to them when they are told because they are boring and unremarkable.

 

[idav]

Sure. And there are also stories about how easy it was to leave Christianity and how we weren't threatened with Hellfire for doing so.

But people tend not to tell those stories because they are boring and unremarkable. And nobody pays attention to them when they are told because they are boring and unremarkable.

In my experience it isnt so much the people saying as much as it is the doctrine or dogma that spells out how bad it would be to leave. If your a believer trying not to be, some of that doctrine leaves doubt about doubting ones religion and is a clear case of pascals wager having a sort of hold on a believer.

 

[AmbiguousGuy]

Sure. And there are also stories about how easy it was to leave Christianity and how we weren't threatened with Hellfire for doing so.

But people tend not to tell those stories because they are boring and unremarkable. And nobody pays attention to them when they are told because they are boring and unremarkable.

For whatever it's worth, hellfire had no hold on me. I left Christianity mentally at about twelve and physically at about eighteen. (My father was an elder and preacher, so I had to go along with the family dynamics until I left home.)

By the time I left for good, I no more believed in hell than I believed any of the other magical stuff about Christianity. My best guess is that I was just born a skeptic. Things have to make sense to me on a rational level or I just can't believe them.

 

[Quirkybird]

Children should be permitted to decided for themselves about religion and their choice of career. It is very WRONG for parents to decide for them in these matters.