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Corny Jokes Thread
- Thread starter xkatz
- Start date
tumbleweed41
Resident Liberal Hippie
There was once an island in the middle of the Pacific that was home to a tribe of natives who called themselves Triggs.
Now all the food on this island was located at the to of a very large mountain. However, whenever the Triggs hiked up the only mountain path available, a large ogre would kick them back down the incline.
By chance, a Rabbi became shipwrecked on the Trigg island, and the Chief went to him for help.
"Please," implored the Chief, "go to the mountain, and use your faith to stop the ogre from kicking us back down the mountain."
"I will go," replied the Rabbi, "and if God wills it, you will have access to your food."
So the Rabbi hiked up the path, until he neared the top of the mountain.
Suddenly a large ugly ogre charge at him, and stopped mere inches from the Rabbi's face.
Panicking, the Rabbi pleaded with the ogre, "Please ogre, pleas, do not kick me back down the mountain. I am old and may not survive!"
The ogre replied....
Now all the food on this island was located at the to of a very large mountain. However, whenever the Triggs hiked up the only mountain path available, a large ogre would kick them back down the incline.
By chance, a Rabbi became shipwrecked on the Trigg island, and the Chief went to him for help.
"Please," implored the Chief, "go to the mountain, and use your faith to stop the ogre from kicking us back down the mountain."
"I will go," replied the Rabbi, "and if God wills it, you will have access to your food."
So the Rabbi hiked up the path, until he neared the top of the mountain.
Suddenly a large ugly ogre charge at him, and stopped mere inches from the Rabbi's face.
Panicking, the Rabbi pleaded with the ogre, "Please ogre, pleas, do not kick me back down the mountain. I am old and may not survive!"
The ogre replied....
"Silly Rabbi, kicks are for Triggs"
DeitySlayer
President of Chindia
Two elephants and a cymbal fall off a cliff.
Ba-doom CHING!
Ba-doom CHING!
How do you know if the engineer you're talking to is an extrovert?
:
:
:
:
:
He's looking at your shoes instead of his own.
DeitySlayer
President of Chindia
A priest, a minister & a rabbi walk into a bar
& say, "Hey, did you hear the one about us?".
FlyingTeaPot
Irrational Rationalist. Educated Fool.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
tumbleweed41
Resident Liberal Hippie
What do you get when you cross a helicopter, an elephant and a rhino?
A Helephino (Hell if I know)
A Helephino (Hell if I know)
xkatz
Well-Known Member
Rainbow Mage
Lib Democrat/Agnostic/Epicurean-ish/Buddhist-ish
There was a blond, a brunette, and a redhead. And they just robbed a bank, and was on the run from the cops. There was this old factory ahead, so they parked the car and got out and ran into the factory to hide. The cop saw the car parked and stopped and went into the old factory. There were these three sacks lined up against the wall, and something was moving in the first sack, so the cop goes up to it and kicks it. The read head says: woof-woof. The cop says: Oh it's just a dog. He goes up to the second sack, kicks it, and the brunette says: meow meow. He says: Oh, it's only a cat. He gets to the third sack and kicks it, and the blond says: potato potato
Rainbow Mage
Lib Democrat/Agnostic/Epicurean-ish/Buddhist-ish
There was this bar up on this cliff said to be a magic cliff. It was said that if you jumped off the cliff you could fly. Well these three guys all went up to the bar one day and got drunk, and another one of the patrons named Clark went over to them. He told them how the cliff was magic, and he'd show them if they liked. So they all followed him outside. Clark jumped off the cliff, flew in a circle, and came back. So the first guy says he'd like to try. He jumps off the cliff, falls to his death. The other two guys wonder why it didn't work for their friend like it did Clark. Clark says: he just didn't have enough faith. So the second guy jumps off the cliff, believing with all his heart he'll fly. He also falls to his death. The third guy is skeptical. He asks Clark to do it again. Clark jumps off the cliff, flies in a circle, and comes back. So the third guy jumps off the cliff, and he also falls to his death. The bartender comes out of the bar, walks up to Clark and says: You gotta stop doing that Superman
DeitySlayer
President of Chindia
Blond, brunette and redhead die, and end up at the base of a 100-step golden staircase leading up to heaven. God appears at the top and says 'I'll tell a joke at every step, getting progressively funnier; if you can with-hold your laughter until the end, I'll let you in to heaven.'
They start up the staircase.
The redhead laughs on the 30th step and is sent down into Purgatory.
The brunette laughs on the 60th step and is sent down to Purgatory.
On the 99th step, the blond bursts out into laughter.
'Why did you laugh?!' said God. 'You were so close to the end!'
'Oh,' she said. 'I just got the first joke'
They start up the staircase.
The redhead laughs on the 30th step and is sent down into Purgatory.
The brunette laughs on the 60th step and is sent down to Purgatory.
On the 99th step, the blond bursts out into laughter.
'Why did you laugh?!' said God. 'You were so close to the end!'
'Oh,' she said. 'I just got the first joke'
Rainbow Mage
Lib Democrat/Agnostic/Epicurean-ish/Buddhist-ish
LOL Deity
Rainbow Mage
Lib Democrat/Agnostic/Epicurean-ish/Buddhist-ish
Dunno xkatz, what?