How quickly times change.
Only a month ago, if you had walked onto a shop wearing a mask...
Only a month ago, if you had walked onto a shop wearing a mask...
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Coronapocalypse humor
- Thread starter sun rise
- Start date
The guy who runs the supermarket here wears a homer Simpson mask
Some "jokes":
Tomorrow is the National Homeschool Tornado Drill. Lock your kids in the basement until you give the all clear. You’re welcome!
I was so bored I called Jake from State Farm just to talk to someone. He asked me what I was wearing.
2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people.
The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house, and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!
You think it’s bad now? In 20 years our country will be run by people homeschooled by day drinkers…
This virus has done what no woman had been able to do…cancel all sports, shut down all bars, and keep men at home!!!
Do not call the police on suspicious people in your neighborhood! Those are your neighbors without makeup and hair extensions!
Since we can’t eat out, now’s the perfect time to eat better, get fit, and stay healthy. We’re quarantined! Who are we trying to impress? We have snacks, we have sweatpants – I say we use them!
Day 7 at home and the dog is looking at me like, “See? This is why I chew the furniture!”
Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands???
I never thought the comment “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6 foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!
Me: Alexa what’s the weather this weekend?
Alexa: It doesn’t matter – you’re not going anywhere.
Can everyone please just follow the government instructions so we can knock out this coronavirus and be done?! I feel like a kindergartner who keeps losing more recess time because one or two kids can’t follow directions.
I swear my fridge just said “what the hell do you want now?”
When this is over…what meeting do I attend first…Weight Watchers or AA?
Quarantine has turned us into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food. We are told “no” if we get too close to strangers. And we get really excited about car rides.
Tomorrow is the National Homeschool Tornado Drill. Lock your kids in the basement until you give the all clear. You’re welcome!
I was so bored I called Jake from State Farm just to talk to someone. He asked me what I was wearing.
2019: Stay away from negative people. 2020: Stay away from positive people.
The world has turned upside down. Old folks are sneaking out of the house, and their kids are yelling at them to stay indoors!
You think it’s bad now? In 20 years our country will be run by people homeschooled by day drinkers…
This virus has done what no woman had been able to do…cancel all sports, shut down all bars, and keep men at home!!!
Do not call the police on suspicious people in your neighborhood! Those are your neighbors without makeup and hair extensions!
Since we can’t eat out, now’s the perfect time to eat better, get fit, and stay healthy. We’re quarantined! Who are we trying to impress? We have snacks, we have sweatpants – I say we use them!
Day 7 at home and the dog is looking at me like, “See? This is why I chew the furniture!”
Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands???
I never thought the comment “I wouldn’t touch him/her with a 6 foot pole” would become a national policy, but here we are!
Me: Alexa what’s the weather this weekend?
Alexa: It doesn’t matter – you’re not going anywhere.
Can everyone please just follow the government instructions so we can knock out this coronavirus and be done?! I feel like a kindergartner who keeps losing more recess time because one or two kids can’t follow directions.
I swear my fridge just said “what the hell do you want now?”
When this is over…what meeting do I attend first…Weight Watchers or AA?
Quarantine has turned us into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food. We are told “no” if we get too close to strangers. And we get really excited about car rides.
dybmh
דניאל יוסף בן מאיר הירש
I'm a gentoo-penguin-sloth. What about you?
Mostly kookaburra.
Thief
Rogue Theologian
where did you find the one-liners?
if this stuff is your handiwork.....you be stand-up comedy
Shad
Veteran Member
This is me normally. A worse offense is putting an empty jug of milk or juice back in the fridge
Thief
Rogue Theologian
Thief
Rogue Theologian
now THAT is a scary photo
Thief
Rogue Theologian
but.....they won't last ten minutes
Thief
Rogue Theologian
btw....and I think it was Monsanto....franken-corn
nasty pernicious weed it has been made into
I support the central and south american heritage corn association [in principle]
and in fact if i can get some heritage strains of seed to plant
sent seed corn to Haiti
trying to be nice
They burned it
they consider seed to be sacred in some way
you don't mess with it
they may be poor and starving.......but....
MNoBody
Well-Known Member
well, can't blame them, those are death seeds to the indigenous, not seeds of life, and this is from their experience working with them....they did at the beginning [go along with the uncle sam seeds] and rejected them as hard as the residential school system after they saw the consequences.....
kind of as sad and tragic as poor Indian farmers committing suicide by drinking pesticide as they have been ruined as a farmer by this pernicious system.
Thank you! Yes. How would you even shuck those funny looking ones?
I find it all over the place. It's not my handiwork.