Diamonds a girls best friend? I think not!

[Penumbra]

First let me say this thread was kinda influenced by niner's thread on wearing wedding rings. I personally think its terrible that society has influenced us and most particularly women, that material objects are symbols of love. With a 55% divorce rate in the United States I hardly doubt it. Watching endless commercials of men kneeling showing their gift of long lasting bliss to a desired loved one is even more sickening. Of course I am not here to change social norms rather, argue against them. I believe love is intangible, immaterial, and irreplacable (this is arguable since people remarry) and no stone, or material substance can reflect that. In fact wedding rings rarely symbolize love. After all cheaters wear their wedding bands!

I would be lying if I said I wouldn't purchase one. Only reason I would is out of social conformity not because I believe in them.

Agreed. The diamond businesses have done a really good marketing job by aligning their specific product with marriage. Now most women feel they should receive one, and most men feel they need to buy one.

I would not accept a diamond ring. I don't like expensive jewelry.

 

[Kathryn]

I mostly wear jewelry that I or local artists I have met made. I also generally give things that I or local artisans I know made as symbols of my affection. I don't believe that expense = value. I also really struggle with the ethical issues surrounding the purchase of precious metals and gemstones. If I give my man a ring it will be "recycled".

My wedding set is "recycled." There is no way I would get rooked into that marketing madness of a retail jewelry store!

A diamond is a diamond is a diamond. I don't care whether someone else has worn it before. My gosh, it's thousands of years old anyway.

I do, however, care if it's a quality stone. I much prefer quality to size. My own diamond wedding ring isn't all that big and certainly isn't pretentious. We found it in a store which carries antique coins and vintage jewelry and it was a great deal because it was "used." Way to go, hubby!

 

[ninerbuff]

Lol, here's one for you Vendetta.

When I sold vacuums door to door in the late 80's I was so into having "bling" that every time I accomplished a goal I either bought a new gold ring, diamond earring, chain or bracelet! I wore my rings and gold to every sales rally and even to meetings because I wanted to show how successful I was.
Now I wasn't broke, but I spent almost every thing I had each month. I worked hard and played harder! To this day I still have all that gold. Lol, I'll even take a picture of all of it and show it to you!

 

[Kathryn]

I went through a stage where I bought a nice piece of jewelry whenever I got a bonus. I got tired of that though. Now I buy mostly costume jewelry, or unique artistic pieces, like brooches or unusual necklaces, and usually they're not very expensive. I do, however, break down once in awhile and buy something stunning - more for the artistic merit than anything else. I am very appreciative of excellent artwork.

They're not status symbols though - to me they are simply things of beauty and I appreciate beauty, regardless of price. Some of my favorite pieces cost next to nothing.

 

[Darkness]

It's a rant.

Be nice daddy angellous.

 

[Kathryn]

Rings have been symbolic for love, rank, authority, whatever, for thousands of years. I don't think it's merely marketing that makes the giving of a ring an important symbol in a relationship.

 

[Darkness]

Rings have been symbolic for love, rank, authority, whatever, for thousands of years. I don't think it's merely marketing that makes the giving of a ring an important symbol in a relationship.

A good conservative argument for the giving of rings in marriage.

 

[Kathryn]

Well, I don't really care one way or another what other people choose when it comes to rings. If people don't want to give or wear them, that's fine.

However, I think it's best that two people in a relationship work that out and put the other person's feelings above their own (which is usually a good rule of thumb in a relationship anyway). If a ring is important to one person but unimportant to the other, they need to reach an agreement long before the wedding on this. No point in creating animosity and resentment over something before the rites are even performed!

My husband and I are in agreement on this, so it's not an issue with either of us. We both like the fact that the other happily wears a wedding band as a symbol to the world that they've committed their love and faithfulness to one person. When I look at my ring, I think about the love my husband blesses my life with. I am proud to be his wife and he is proud to be my husband.

The ring doesn't MAKE this so -it's just one of our symbols of our commitment to each other. And it's an ancient symbol of fidelity, so I like the ancient cultural connotations as well.

 

[Penumbra]

Rings have been symbolic for love, rank, authority, whatever, for thousands of years. I don't think it's merely marketing that makes the giving of a ring an important symbol in a relationship.

This is correct, but convincing tens or hundreds of millions of people that it should be a diamond ring was due to marketing. They didn't invent the idea out of thin air, but they utilized extremely effective marketing to create the expectation that is now widespread across America and other areas. Diamond rings only became popular in the 20th century.

 

[Vendetta]

Lol, here's one for you Vendetta.

When I sold vacuums door to door in the late 80's I was so into having "bling" that every time I accomplished a goal I either bought a new gold ring, diamond earring, chain or bracelet! I wore my rings and gold to every sales rally and even to meetings because I wanted to show how successful I was.
Now I wasn't broke, but I spent almost every thing I had each month. I worked hard and played harder! To this day I still have all that gold. Lol, I'll even take a picture of all of it and show it to you!

Heh your. Nickname is Mr. T now! Lol

 

[Darkness]

Well, I don't really care one way or another what other people choose when it comes to rings. If people don't want to give or wear them, that's fine.

However, I think it's best that two people in a relationship work that out and put the other person's feelings above their own (which is usually a good rule of thumb in a relationship anyway). If a ring is important to one person but unimportant to the other, they need to reach an agreement long before the wedding on this. No point in creating animosity and resentment over something before the rites are even performed!

My husband and I are in agreement on this, so it's not an issue with either of us. We both like the fact that the other happily wears a wedding band as a symbol to the world that they've committed their love and faithfulness to one person. When I look at my ring, I think about the love my husband blesses my life with. I am proud to be his wife and he is proud to be my husband.

The ring doesn't MAKE this so -it's just one of our symbols of our commitment to each other. And it's an ancient symbol of fidelity, so I like the ancient cultural connotations as well.

Giving rings in marriage has become embedded in our culture, so it holds a special significance for us. While, I do not personally care much for rings or jewellery of any kind (except for religious jewellery), I do not see anything wrong with exchanging rings as symbols of love and affection. Every culture has their own institutions. I simply wish our sign of love and affection was not linked with monetary value. On the grand order of things, it is unimportant. If it is a problem at all, there are much more troubling cultural mores (e.g. that gay and lesbian kids have no stories designed for them; they always have to read about the Prince and Princess).

 

[Kathryn]

I agree that too much emphasis CAN be placed on the size of the diamonds, or the total cost (for instance, the idea that a ring should cost at least a month's salary - where did that stupid "rule" come from? THE JEWELRY INDUSTRY!)'

By next century, diamond rings may be dated, quaint, or even obsolete, but something else symbolic will take their place, and my bet is that it's jewelry in some form or fashion. Or maybe it will be tattoos, who knows?

There have always been people who don't go for the traditional diamond engagement ring or wedding set, and I see more of that individuality as each year goes by.

Pieces of jewelry, and especially rings, are traditional in many cultures, and have been for thousands of years, as a token of love and fidelity. I think it's nice.

 

[Vendetta]

Those of you who have diamond rings ever wondered where the diamond came from? Who mined the diamond? Better yet ever see the movie blood diamond? I stopped buying clothing made from foreigners when I learned about sweat shops. I buy mostly things from America not only to give.my fellow citizens jobs but to support my country. If I decide to buy a ring I am going to.make sure its environmentally friendly and make sure the diamond didn't come off the backs of others for crappy wages.

Kathryn surprised you didn't address my Kobe Bryant example. I had to look it up but the value of his wires ring is $4 million. Now forgive me for using gender stereotypes but I am willing to be 90% of the women in the US would accept a ring that value. Despite cheating on his wife she took him back, accepted a $4 million dollar ring and all is fine.

 

[Kathryn]

I am not in a position to judge Kobe Bryant's marriage. All things are relative. Personally I wouldn't have a $4 million dollar ring, let alone wear it, because I'd be too paranoid about losing it or having it stolen (possibly even with me attached!). But even a more realistic example would be ANY cheating spouse who bribes his mate with material things. I could be wrong, but I would venture to say that the odds are high that Kobe Bryant is married to a woman who is very materialistic. If that's the case, the ring is only the tip of the iceburg when it comes to their issues.

My ring in an antique ring. I have no idea where the diamonds came from, and neither do you for that matter.

I guess my question is this - what's your application? It's fine to me if your application is to eschew buying or wearing diamonds. That's your perogative, and your right to express your opinion. But does your application go so far as to judge those who want to buy and/or wear a diamond ring as a symbol of their love, fidelity, and commitment to another person? If so, I think your application goes too far.

But hey, that's just me.

 

[Revoltingest]

Diamonds.....barsh flimshaw!
They're not that useful on machine tools...solubility in iron, you know.
And fried, they can't hold a candle to bacon. Good insulators though.

 

[linwood]

Divorce Rate : Divorce Rate In America

How does the divorce rate support your statement that a wedding band is not a symbol of love?
If I divorce my wife next year for whatever reason does that mean I didn`t love her when I gave her the ring?
Is my divorce evidence that my love was not real when I made my vows?

I don`t think so.
Please ... provide some evidence of your claim that a wedding band is not a symbol of love.

If in fact wedding bands are in fact indications of love U.S. Americans have a terrible way of showing it.

Please provide some evidence to support this utterly false grasping assertion as well.

There is no social psychological study I am aware of that would support my argument...

Imagine my surprise!!

...but looking at divorce rates in the U.S. it is safe to say that the idea of.love symbolized in diamond rings is nothing more than a marketing ploy, to convince the masses that love can be crystalized in a stone. Like I said earlier love is intangible, immaterial and biochemically invaluable.

How is a divorce rate an acceptable measure of correlation to a human emotion?
How can there be any acceptable standard of measure to match whatever correlation to any human emotion?

Like everything else loves changes, disappears altogether and many people become divorced for reasons beyond and besides a loss of love.

I may agree that love is intangible and immaterial but I am well aware of it`s biochemical value in my life.

The fact that it is in so many ways immaterial and intangible is why we as humans create things to symbolize it`s worth to us.
True, we often fall far short in our efforts but I don`t think we can be faulted for trying.

 

[Darkness]

Diamonds.....barsh flimshaw!
They're not that useful on machine tools...solubility in iron, you know.
And fried, they can't hold a candle to bacon. Good insulators though.

I am sure your wife thinks you an old-fashioned romantic.

 

[Reverend Rick]

I can't help it, I have a jewelry fetish. Its not just for diamonds, I love rubies, opals, amethysts, emeralds as well.

I like Indian jewelry with turquoise and other hand made items. I have an agate ring I just adore.

Semi precious stones are just as beautiful to me as precious stones. There are some wonderful synthetics out there that catch my eye as well.

I don't feel that spending money on the ones you love is wrong so long as you can afford it.

Every now and then I like to wear my 2 carat D flawless ring. Most of the time, I wear no jewelry and dress very unstylish with bib overhauls and cap. It is fun however to see folks you know when you are dressed up. They notice your stuff and you can tell they are taken aback because they had some preconceived notion about you that was just dispelled.

Some folks like to drive old pickups and worn out clothes. Not because they have to but rather that is what they prefer.

It's funny how people judge you. I think they are silly. Their the ones hung up on possessions, I could walk into the woods naked with nothing and be a happy man as long as I could take my dog with me. He is my most valued possession and cost me nothing.

 

[Kathryn]

Amen, Rick!

I love beautiful things - I consider anything beautiful to be a work of art, even if it is strictly something utilitarian. I want it around me, if it will beautify (and not clutter) my own environment. That's why I had to have this:

How does this simple glass pitcher relate to a diamond ring? Well, a beautiful stone, even a very small one, will catch my eye when it's well set and flawless. In fact, I'd rather have a very small, flawless diamond than one that's large but cloudy.

I have more money now than I did when I was in my twenties (that's the way it's supposed to be, right?). So my home is furnished with quality furniture, and I have collected over the years some quality jewelry. However, I was just as happy in my first home - the one with military issue bedroom furniture, and a sofa I bought for five dollars at a garage sale. That's because I loved the way the dark wood of the bed against the creamy white wall paint looked so clean with that navy blue bedspread and white sheer curtains on the big window. I loved the way the light from the big windows in the living room sparkled on the mason jar holding the brilliant fall leaves from the woods behind the quarters, and how those old wood floors gleamed as the setting sun poured in.

In other words, it's not materialism - it's appreciation for beauty. Add to that the idea of my husband loving me so much that he wants me to think of him everytime the sun catches that diamond, and yes...I love my wedding band.

 

[Vendetta]

I am not in a position to judge Kobe Bryant's marriage. All things are relative. Personally I wouldn't have a $4 million dollar ring, let alone wear it, because I'd be too paranoid about losing it or having it stolen (possibly even with me attached!). But even a more realistic example would be ANY cheating spouse who bribes his mate with material things. I could be wrong, but I would venture to say that the odds are high that Kobe Bryant is married to a woman who is very materialistic. If that's the case, the ring is only the tip of the iceburg when it comes to their issues.

My ring in an antique ring. I have no idea where the diamonds came from, and neither do you for that matter.

I guess my question is this - what's your application? It's fine to me if your application is to eschew buying or wearing diamonds. That's your perogative, and your right to express your opinion. But does your application go so far as to judge those who want to buy and/or wear a diamond ring as a symbol of their love, fidelity, and commitment to another person? If so, I think your application goes too far.

But hey, that's just me.

Well first off, stop assuming its a statement of judgement when I mention kobe, I am asking you to make an observation. What I was alluding to is the fact that the immensely expensive ring which to Kobe's defense, was to be a surprise which was bought two.weeks.prior to his rape charge was taken out the store two days after his charge. Now without making any judgemental statement, I just found it convenient that among other problms he had during that time I am surprised that was a priority. Regardless, he is rich and powerful so how that goes is beyond me but more importantly what I am getting at is the theory of Pavlov which is true concerning classical.conditioning.

Marketing diamonds or jewlry for that matter is a conditioning set up by society to identify their emotions with objects. So again no offense and please don't take this personal, but while you may put this big spin on what your rings mean to you, you are still making an association between how you feel/or commitment and an object. I believe these are symptomatic of what we in psychology call "classical conditioning" I mean its everywhere and of course I do it to. But in the jewlry industry it is heavily exploited during holidays and events celebrated by many (in the US at least).

Furthermore you may ask why I care? Well for one diamonds are known to be mined by impoverished people who are exploited. I am not talking about older men but young kids as well. Blood Diamond the movie is a great example. I personally feel just like any other who wants to contribute to the revolution of change, want to stop contributing to the exploitation of people whether it is completely stoping diamonds at all or buying diamonds that are environmentally friendly and that which was retrieved without the exploitation of impoverished people.

I mean FFS society has already allocated what women are and want. The slogan reads "diamonds are a girls best friend" women buy into it and the underlined message reads: women are materialistic." So instead of a poem on the bed or a basic sensual massage, for $5,0000 or on approved credit you can buy a wonderful platinum 5 karat diamond ring...