divorce and hymen.

[mohammed_beiruti]

Sadly, your religion is not unique in this view of women.

customs! not religion!

it seems that you didn't read my post carefully.

 

[mohammed_beiruti]

Its a man thing, Jealousy pure and simple .men want to be the first and secretly hate it when they are not .

you know kai, some of those customs I wish they would be cahnged , because it oppresses women.

as for me I don't have any problem marrying a divorced women.

However, I do not prefer whores.

 

[mohammed_beiruti]

Virginity, if it is to carry some respect , should apply equally to men and women.

Why should a woman want a second hand man,

I a gree.

men and women are equal in that case.

 

[Madhuri]

you know kai, some of those customs I wish they would be cahnged , because it oppresses women.

as for me I don't have any problem marrying a divorced women.

However, I do not prefer whores.

Who is a whore, in your opinion, and does it include men as well?

 

[mohammed_beiruti]

Nowadsays the hymen can be surgically reconstructed. And apparently it can be broken through means other than intercourse with a man.

there are laws in my country are prohibiting making such surgeries.

 

[Renji]

there are laws in my country is prohibiting making such surgeries.

But having a 'broken' or 'loose' hymen does not indicate that a girl isn't virgin anymore. So having a surgery to reconstruct a hymen doesn't make sense now, perhaps just for the male's satisfaction during the intercourse....

 

[mohammed_beiruti]

1. You believe a woman who loses her virginity before marraige should die?

No. I don't.

the customs sometimes do. and not every one have the same customs.

you can't find two families in one cummunity having the same(typical) customs.

2. Divorce is a two way street. If a woman gets divorced then that means a man gets divorced. Would the "community" disrespect him just the same?

in my community unfortunately, no not the same.

sorry, but this is reality.

Why all this focus on the woman? If a woman lost her virginity before marriage that means either a man lost his virginity before marriage also, or a married man cheated on his wife with a virgin, making him a "dirty whore". Why not put this same focus on the man?

the customs are not fair.

however, Islam do not distinguish between man and women , it look at them the same.

 

[Renji]

Who is a whore, in your opinion, and does it include men as well?

I want to answer. Can I?

I think the 'whores' are those who are cheating their partners and those who 'hurt' other people's feelings whether it be male or a female.

 

[cris]

mohammed, if your parents were divorced, do you think it would be ok for me to call your mother a whore? would you join me in disrespecting your mother calling her a filthy whore? would it not offend you at all? i think it would. so then how can you justify calling other women/mothers/sisters whores??

 

[mohammed_beiruti]

Does it say anything about man-whores? Or are men allowed to have as much sex with as many people as they want?

will the customs do not focus too much on men.

let me give an example:

for a father,

- if his teenage son is having a girlfriend, he wouldn't ask him about his girlfriend or
prevent him from having a girlfriend,

- however, if his teenage daughter is having a boyfriend you would have two type of fathers

1. a father who will let her have a boyfriend but under his very strict observance, and he will insist to meet him and ask about him; that because he feel worry about.

2. a father who will not let her having a boyfriend at all, and if she have a one with out his knowledge he will punish her.

 

[kai]

you know kai, some of those customs I wish they would be cahnged , because it oppresses women.

as for me I don't have any problem marrying a divorced women.

However, I do not prefer whores.

whats your definition of a whore ?

 

[Madhuri]

will the customs do not focus too much on men.

What is your personal opinion about this focus on women and not on men?

 

[Sahar]

Yes, I suppose it is. It can be overcome, so it irks me that many religions adopt it within their doctrines rather than discarding it for a more equitable view of women. I'm amazed at how women can sign up for these basically mysogynistic religions.

This has nothing to do with equality. If a woman or a man committed adultery, this is a huge thing (a dirty thing) that can't be taken lightly at all. Since some people live in this dirtiness every day, so they get used to it and even viewed as a matter of equality. If the spouse was found that s/he committed adultery before it, then this speaks volume about that person and not a person to start a life with...unless of course it asked forgiveness from Allah and Allah concealed what it did or the other spouse was understanding that it was a mistake and forgiving...

Men don't have hymens but women do. During a sexual intercourse, it may be known if the woman is a virgin or not but not in all cases due to various reasons. So those who praise the hymen tear, need to chill out.

 

[Renji]

Men don't have hymens but women do.

Last time I checked, I can't find any jk, jk

 

[YmirGF]

So those who praise the hymen tear, need to chill out.

This reminds me of the time that Aisha was left behind during the flight to Medina. Rather than just assume she was worthy of their continued respect and that nothing untoward had occurred, people suspected the worst. It's a sad way to perceive people. Some things never change.

 

[Noaidi]

customs! not religion!

it seems that you didn't read my post carefully.

Well, you posted this in the religious debates section.....

So what is the position of Islam on the points you raised in your OP? Do they differ from the customs you speak of?

 

[mohammed_beiruti]

So what is the difference between a divorced woman and a widow in this context? Is the widow also destined for death and disrespected? Because her hymen is also broken, and she could be having lots of sex with another man and nobody would know.

according to customs
widow who is having an adult son(s) at her home, there is no problem.

widow who is not having adult son(s) ,and living alone she sahll move to live with her father, brother or uncle ......

 

[YmirGF]

according to customs
widow who is having an adult son(s) at her home, there is no problem.

widow who is not having adult son(s) ,and living alone she sahll move to live with her father, brother or uncle ......

But why should she have to move at all? Why does she have to be under the supervision of a male?

It really sounds like a misogynistic system that is designed to keep men firmly in charge.

 

[mohammed_beiruti]

It's amazing to me that Islam can contribute so much to the world and yet live in the Dark Ages.

customs do not reflect Islam pont of view.

I don't know what kind of stereotype you do have.

 

[Sahar]

Mohammed, I don't know what the point of this thread is. In Egypt, there can be emphasis on the hymen thing on the wedding night since the first marriage means the first sexual intercourse. But the usual scenario is seeking doctor's confirmation and/or divorce. Death is not the usual scenario. Secondly, men marry divorced women all the time. True that there could be some social negative view towards the divorced woman...I don't know the reasoning behind this...but a lot of divorced women re-marry.

Again I don't know what the message of the OP was. You ended up defending Islam. Although, as I understood Islam had nothing to do with your OP.