Apostle John
“Go ahead, look up Revelation 6”
I am going by what is written in Romans 1.
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Do common religious beliefs contribute to marital success?
- Thread starter Trailblazer
- Start date
Not Matthew 7 then?
Or Luke or John or James.
Or Romans 2 or 14
Etc
But the bit of Romans that you prefer
Apostle John
“Go ahead, look up Revelation 6”
Romans 1 specifically talks about homosexuality in the New Testament.
And those i mentioned specifically talk about not judging others
Alien826
No religious beliefs
What an interesting thread, how did I miss it? Lots of interesting stuff, I'll hit a few high spots.
Why did I get married (two divorces and one fairly long standing "living together", still hanging in there, just)?
The first time, I really don't know, I still kick myself. The writing was on the wall while we were still dating.
The second time, love, sex and strong friendship that didn't last the strains of living together. We have been divorced for a long time now, and are good friends again, though we live in different states now and it's just the odd phone call to keep in touch. Moral: good friends don't necessarily make good spouses. Why? Friends don't typically spend their whole time together.
The current relationship, mutual attraction, good sex, enjoyed doing things together. The sex went away, and other incompatibilities were discovered. Still trying.
One secret to a good relationship? Spend as much time as you can apart. Another? Sex is the oil in the wheels of the machine.
Advice: If you are not sure about marrying someone, don't. If you are sure, think about it again. Don't get married because you are lonely. Learn to be happy on your own, then marry if you must. Don't get married expecting lots of sex that you couldn't get while you were single. You will for a while, but it goes away. Remember, when you get married you get one woman or man but give up all the others. Look before you leap.
Is religion important? I don't think so. If you are, say, a devout Christian that thinks all non Christians go to hell, or are thinking about marrying one, make sure you agree. The burden of "saving" that person, or enduring "being saved" will send you crazy. If you have an "all roads lead to God" kind of faith, it doesn't matter too much, you can probbaly find a basic agreement. That is unless you are heavily invested in church activities and he/she isn't. But that applies to lots of things that aren't religions, like golf.
The fact that many people with different religious beliefs get along together makes me wonder just how serious most people are about the "afterlife" aspect of religion.
The "virgin marriage" posts made me shake my head. I would have thought that most people that "save themselves for marriage" have experienced plenty of sexual activity, just not actual, um, penetration. There's only one more thing to do, no? Going into marriage with no sexual experience at all is like buying a car that don't know how to drive and going straight out on the freeway. Maybe there should be sex workers who offer instruction? (Maybe I've missed my profession?
). More seriously, good sexual technique is not something you just pick up the first time you jump into bed with someone. I knew (not in the Biblical sense) a woman who had been married for years with a teenage daughter. She had an affair, and was amazed that she could actually enjoy sex. She then got divorced!
About finding a woman too fat. My own experience is that physical appearance is very low on the list for me. The number one attribute is libido. If she really really wants me physically, and has no hesitation letting me know that, with her body and her words, she's the one for me! And then I find she's physically attractive too!
Why did I get married (two divorces and one fairly long standing "living together", still hanging in there, just)?
The first time, I really don't know, I still kick myself. The writing was on the wall while we were still dating.
The second time, love, sex and strong friendship that didn't last the strains of living together. We have been divorced for a long time now, and are good friends again, though we live in different states now and it's just the odd phone call to keep in touch. Moral: good friends don't necessarily make good spouses. Why? Friends don't typically spend their whole time together.
The current relationship, mutual attraction, good sex, enjoyed doing things together. The sex went away, and other incompatibilities were discovered. Still trying.
One secret to a good relationship? Spend as much time as you can apart. Another? Sex is the oil in the wheels of the machine.
Advice: If you are not sure about marrying someone, don't. If you are sure, think about it again. Don't get married because you are lonely. Learn to be happy on your own, then marry if you must. Don't get married expecting lots of sex that you couldn't get while you were single. You will for a while, but it goes away. Remember, when you get married you get one woman or man but give up all the others. Look before you leap.
Is religion important? I don't think so. If you are, say, a devout Christian that thinks all non Christians go to hell, or are thinking about marrying one, make sure you agree. The burden of "saving" that person, or enduring "being saved" will send you crazy. If you have an "all roads lead to God" kind of faith, it doesn't matter too much, you can probbaly find a basic agreement. That is unless you are heavily invested in church activities and he/she isn't. But that applies to lots of things that aren't religions, like golf.
The fact that many people with different religious beliefs get along together makes me wonder just how serious most people are about the "afterlife" aspect of religion.
The "virgin marriage" posts made me shake my head. I would have thought that most people that "save themselves for marriage" have experienced plenty of sexual activity, just not actual, um, penetration. There's only one more thing to do, no? Going into marriage with no sexual experience at all is like buying a car that don't know how to drive and going straight out on the freeway. Maybe there should be sex workers who offer instruction? (Maybe I've missed my profession?
). More seriously, good sexual technique is not something you just pick up the first time you jump into bed with someone. I knew (not in the Biblical sense) a woman who had been married for years with a teenage daughter. She had an affair, and was amazed that she could actually enjoy sex. She then got divorced! About finding a woman too fat. My own experience is that physical appearance is very low on the list for me. The number one attribute is libido. If she really really wants me physically, and has no hesitation letting me know that, with her body and her words, she's the one for me! And then I find she's physically attractive too!
Trailblazer
Veteran Member
@Truthseeker
I want to let you know about my change of heart and mind regarding getting married again. If I get married again I want to marry a Baha'i and I am probably not going to consider marrying a man who is not a Baha'i. I had been thinking I could marry a man with different beliefs or even an agnostic, and maybe he would become a Baha'i, and if he didn't that would not matter, but now I realize that is only wishful thinking. I'd prefer to marry a deepened Baha'i, a man who has been a Baha'i for decades, like me. That would be the ideal. That was the situation with Lewis, as he had been a Baha'i for 21 years, and I had been a Bahao for 15 years at the time we married. Add to that the 37 years we were married and that is a lot of years.
My mind and heart are with the Faith and that is the glue that held our marriage together for 37 years in spite of all the problems we had. I had been thinking if I married a non-Baha'i I could have more fun and enjoy the rest of my life instead of serving the Cause, but again that was wishful thinking because my mind and heart are not with the things of the material world. If I married a Baha'i I would be willing to start attending Baha'i activities even though I don't enjoy them, but I will probably nevere be active in the community if I remain single.
A couple of things pushed me in this direction. First, a Baha'i in my community said that she is going to send me some links to Baha'i singles sites. I don't know what she is referring to or if she will follow through, but in her e-mail she also said she thinks I deserve to be happy because she knows how much I have suffered for so many years. Also, in an e-mail I got from Dale he said he doesn't know what Kathleen would think of his remarrying, so that got me thinking about what Lewis would think. I know that Lewis would want me to remarry becaue we had discussed this a long time ago, and I know Lewis would want me to marry a Baha'i. I have been really down in the dumps, but when I came to this decision, which was just today, suddenly a kind of peace came over me and I feel it could be Lewis trying to communicate to me.
So if I can find a Baha'i or if God sends me one, then I won't feel guilty about getting remarried since I will think of it as what Lewis wants for me. Of course finding a Baha'i man to marry is easier said than done, but when there is a will there's a way, and all things are possible if it is God's will. I have to think that there are Baha'i men out there in my age bracket who are widowed or divorced and want to get married again. It's just a matter of finding one! I have been praying remover of difficulties and other prayers for over two hours a day, but never pray for anything specific for myself, but I think I will start praying for assistance from God in finding a Baha'i man. I am not really in a big hurry to get married because I can take care of myself, but I need some hope that it is possible.
I want to let you know about my change of heart and mind regarding getting married again. If I get married again I want to marry a Baha'i and I am probably not going to consider marrying a man who is not a Baha'i. I had been thinking I could marry a man with different beliefs or even an agnostic, and maybe he would become a Baha'i, and if he didn't that would not matter, but now I realize that is only wishful thinking. I'd prefer to marry a deepened Baha'i, a man who has been a Baha'i for decades, like me. That would be the ideal. That was the situation with Lewis, as he had been a Baha'i for 21 years, and I had been a Bahao for 15 years at the time we married. Add to that the 37 years we were married and that is a lot of years.
My mind and heart are with the Faith and that is the glue that held our marriage together for 37 years in spite of all the problems we had. I had been thinking if I married a non-Baha'i I could have more fun and enjoy the rest of my life instead of serving the Cause, but again that was wishful thinking because my mind and heart are not with the things of the material world. If I married a Baha'i I would be willing to start attending Baha'i activities even though I don't enjoy them, but I will probably nevere be active in the community if I remain single.
A couple of things pushed me in this direction. First, a Baha'i in my community said that she is going to send me some links to Baha'i singles sites. I don't know what she is referring to or if she will follow through, but in her e-mail she also said she thinks I deserve to be happy because she knows how much I have suffered for so many years. Also, in an e-mail I got from Dale he said he doesn't know what Kathleen would think of his remarrying, so that got me thinking about what Lewis would think. I know that Lewis would want me to remarry becaue we had discussed this a long time ago, and I know Lewis would want me to marry a Baha'i. I have been really down in the dumps, but when I came to this decision, which was just today, suddenly a kind of peace came over me and I feel it could be Lewis trying to communicate to me.
So if I can find a Baha'i or if God sends me one, then I won't feel guilty about getting remarried since I will think of it as what Lewis wants for me. Of course finding a Baha'i man to marry is easier said than done, but when there is a will there's a way, and all things are possible if it is God's will. I have to think that there are Baha'i men out there in my age bracket who are widowed or divorced and want to get married again. It's just a matter of finding one! I have been praying remover of difficulties and other prayers for over two hours a day, but never pray for anything specific for myself, but I think I will start praying for assistance from God in finding a Baha'i man. I am not really in a big hurry to get married because I can take care of myself, but I need some hope that it is possible.
Viker
Your beloved eccentric Auntie Cristal
I was engaged to someone with Islamic background and they were from a conservative Muslim family/culture. My religious/spiritual preferences weren't a big deal for them. And their having Muslim upbringing wasn't an issue for me. But we both eventually would feel like we were being pulled away from each other due to our backgrounds/cultures. At some point, these differences were going to matter. Of course, it wasn't going to help matters me being trans, either. I can see where stark differences could make a long term commitment difficult, maybe impossible.
Trailblazer
Veteran Member
I just finished with my post to @Truthseeker, and after that I saw your post and you can read my post #86 above if you want a different perspective on sex and marriage.
You have been in more relationships than I have and you have been married twice. I was only married once, for 37 years, and am now a widow.
You might have a point about spending time apart. My late husband and I did live in the same houses together but he did his things and I did not things and there was no expectation that either one of us was going to be interested in the same things, except that we were both Baha'is and we both loved the cats. You might have a point about the sex, I don't know. I think a marriage can hold together without sex, or much sex, especially as people get older, but that has to be mutually agreed upon. It won't work if only one spouse wants sex and the other one doesn't want it.
That said, I would have continued to have sex with my husband if I had known he wanted it. I did not withhold sex, but if he had wanted it he should have said something because I am not a mind-reader! Needless to say, if I get married again all the cards will be laid out on the table and there won't be any guessing games. I will know what he wants and he will know what I want, but I am willing to compromise. Even if I did not want sex, if he did want it I think we could make it work, if there is mutual love and caring. Ironically, it was my late husband who did not want sex at first, so I had to take the bull by the horns and be the aggressor. Sure he wanted it when I did all the work, but I don't want to go through that again, so I would prefer a man who is more aggressive.
I won't get married because I am lonely. How can I be lonely with eight cats? I don't know about being happy on my own but I know the happiest years of my life were when we were first married and for a long time after that, until we started having issues which led to our being physically distant.
Maybe that message is for the men here.
On the other hand I did get married expecting lots of sex in order to make up for lost time and I was sorely disappointed until I straightened things out. Sex does not have to go away if two people are in love and still have the ability. Admittedly I leaped before I looked but it worked out in the end because I was persistent. I know what mistakes I made that led to our being physically distant and if I had it to do over again I would do it differently. That is not to say it was all my fault, as he had a part to play in it too.Of course if you don't hav a religion it is not important, but as I told @Truthseeker in my post, our common belief in the Baha'i Faith was the glue that held the marriage together against all odds. We were not both always as equally exuberant about it but we both firmly believed in Baha'u'llah.
I thought I could possibly marry a Christian but I have now had scond thoughts. I could never marry a Christian who believed that Jesus is the only way, and that only Christians go to heaven, but there are very few Christians who don't believe that. Ideally, if I remarry it will be to a Baha'i and he can have as much sex as he wants.... live and learn.
My theory is that people with different religious beliefs get along together because the focus of the marriage is not their religious beliefs.
Oh Geeze... Even the psychiatrist I had at the time said we don't need to know what goes where, as sex is a natural thing, and you can learn more as you go along. There is no need to practice... It is all the more fun when you don't have experience and it is also a lot more special when you have only ever been with one partner.
There are sex therapists who offer instruction and we kept one in business for about a year. Of course there are alos sex workers who could offer hands on instruction.
But why do you have to know the technique right away? What fun is it if you already know everything? You never heard of learning in the job?(Maybe I've missed my profession?
I am not really fat, but that is good to hear that not all men consider that important, because I am not skinny either. I don't nee a handsome man but if I find a man unattractive I am not going to be sexually attracted to him. If he is a nice man and has other good qualities he can marry me anyway, just don't expect a sex life.
I do not have any girlfriends in my age range I talk to so I wonder how many older women have libido, given the hormones drop after menopause.
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Nimos
Well-Known Member
Could imagine how different religions or lack of belief are going to collide, even in regard to small things that might not seem important at first. For me personally, the married ceremony wouldn't matter at all and if that was what the woman wanted I would have no problem doing it for her just to make her happy. Obviously, it would feel hollow and meaningless for me personally, but wouldn't care to be honest.
Personally, I would be far more concerned in regard to the more "hidden" everyday things where our different views would have an impact, such as drinking alcohol when I wanted, what cloth to wear (not that relevant for men or maybe the Bahai faith). what things to celebrate, despite not being religious I do enjoy certain religious traditions, some religions such as JW don't interact with politics. I would also be very concerned about stuff I could say or not say without offending her or maybe her friends of a similar religion, as I don't care to speak my mind. And in general how much God would interfere in my life because as an atheist I have given absolutely no space to him in regards to what I do and don't do
So to me, that would be the real issue, the marriage ceremony would just be a fun/interesting experience and nothing more. But then again some atheists are very protective about their views when it comes to these things, but not so much me to be honest.
Truthseeker
Non-debating member when I can help myself
Wow! If, God forbid, Sara would die, I would consider it. However, there is the problem that we've already paid graves for Sara, Michael, and me locally, and Baha'is are not supposed to travel for more than one hour to where they get buried when they die.
Alien826
No religious beliefs
Read it. It's good that you are feeling more peaceful about it all. Before going on, let me emphasize that whatever I say comes from my own experience, and one size certainly doesn't fit all! No double meaning intended.
My problem has always been that I don't want to have sex (or any activity really) that both of us don't want to engage in. So if a woman really didn't want that, I wouldn't push it. I'm not talking about an occasional time when one partner doesn't feel like it but does it please the other. I mean imposing a burden on the other person. That said, there are lots of ways to satisfy another person without full participation by the other. I can't be more specific here, I hope it's clear.
What I mean is, live alone long enough to learn that you don't need another person to be happy (I use "happy" here in a very general sense). Then you don't settle for the first person (or the fiftieth) that will have you because you just can't stand being alone. Also, if you do get with someone, you are less likely to put up with a lot of crap because you fear being alone.
Unfortunately it does apply to men more, as it's a recorded fact that women in stable relationships tend to "go off" sex as time goes by. Look it up. Also women are more subject to physical changes (less hormones produced) and things like hysterectomies, none of which they can help.Maybe that message is for the men here.
Maybe so. I also think people with different beliefs can get along if they find core principles that they agree with, and are not too concerned over peripheral matters.
I disagree strongly. Or mostly. Yes, people with goodwill and caring for their partners can work out difficulties if they communicate. But, let's take a different example. They decide to take up tennis, as it looks like a fun activity. They return from the court after the first session totally discouraged because neither one could hit the ball properly, and decide to give up on it. Maybe they should have had a few lessons to get them started?Oh Geeze... Even the psychiatrist I had at the time said we don't need to know what goes where, as sex is a natural thing, and you can learn more as you go along. There is no need to practice... It is all the more fun when you don't have experience and it is also a lot more special when you have only ever been with one partner.
There are sex therapists who offer instruction and we kept one in business for about a year. Of course there are alos sex workers who could offer hands on instruction.
But why do you have to know the technique right away? What fun is it if you already know everything? You never heard of learning in the job?
Here's an example from my own experience. A young woman I knew had her first experience and ended up disliking sex. He had not been gentle and it had hurt. She didn't see him again. I'll omit part of the story, but we went to bed and she ended up really enjoying sex and eager to meet more partners. I'm not boasting, I was just more experienced and knew which parts of a woman's body gave pleasure and how gentle to be (or not). I also made sure she understood that she could stop the whole thing at any time, so she didn't feel threatened.
Sex may be a natural thing, but good sex is learned. Learning on the job is fine in some cases, but I've never heard of an employer that gave a new worker no instruction at all. And you are going to get some messed up results, which I suppose is OK if the things you are working on are inanimate, but not so good with brain surgery. I wonder if that psychiatrist was learning on the job when he told you that?
Aupmanyav
Be your own guru
1. In my case, instigation by my grandmother (relation, not real, but lovely lady). She said this girl is so beautiful. I will get Aup. married to her. That was when I was 14 and she was 10. She did not last till my marriage, but it happened as she said 10 years later. Prophecy. Marriage was decided from my side even before I ever saw her, but when I met her for the first time, her fairness captivated me.
2. Duty. We were married and their were duties to fulfill towards the family and towards the children.
3. They will help but in my case we are two quite different individuals. Later I became an atheist. Interest in classical music is perhaps the only thing that we have in common.
Because there's something in "God’s Word" that says you shouldn't marry someone of the same sex?
I have to say that I'm not familiar with that passage.
OTOH, I am familiar with the passage that says that those who try to prohibit certain marriages "[have] desert[ed] the faith and occup[ied] themselves with deceiving spirits and demonic teachings."
Trailblazer
Veteran Member
Not that you will ever move, but I guess you did not think about what could happen in the future when you paid for those graves in your local area.Wow! If, God forbid, Sara would die, I would consider it. However, there is the problem that we've already paid graves for Sara, Michael, and me locally, and Baha'is are not supposed to travel for more than one hour to where they get buried when they die.
Can you get a refund?
Baha'is, who have the one hour law, should think of these things. Maybe you could have set the money aside in a separate account if you were worried you might not have the money later.
I can understand the law about no cremation but the burial law is a stupid law (sorry Baha'u'llah
). This has the potential to cause all kind of problems. I think that the UHJ should rule on this law and make exceptions.My brother lived in Port Angeles with his first wife of 27 years and now he lives in Colorado and will probably die there. His second wife might go back to California where all her children live and she might leave him there alone. Knowing him, he probably won't care where he is buried but what if he wanted to be buried with his first wife or even his second wife?
Why should people be separated from their beloved spouses just because of a stupid law? It would not bother you to be buried different state from where Sara is buried after being married to her for 40 years and counting?
My mother wanted to be buried with my father but he was buried in Rochester, NY and she died in Port Angeles, WA, so she was buried in Port Angeles. I probably won't move, but if I moved from here and died in another state I am still going to be buried in the National Cemetery in Kent with my husband, as I want to be with him, and that is all paid for by the VA. If the LSA doesn't like it they can put me in Baha'i jail.
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Trailblazer
Veteran Member
That is interesting. I guess arranged marriages are more common in countries other than the United States. I know that some Persian Baha'is had arranged marriages because I heard that from a Baha'i on another forum that his father's marriage was arranged. Like you, hid first duty was to his children, so even though he was not in love with his wife, they remained married for 25 years. After the four children were grown and left the house he got divorced, and he has been divorced for 15 years. I know all this because this Baha'i was trying to set me up with his father, since he knows I want to remarry now that my husband is deceased. However, this man lives in California, which is far from where I live, so I decided it would not be practical, since it would not be very reasonable to expect him to move, since all his children and grandchildren live in California, and I am not moving down there.
My marriage was kind of arranged, since my mother and sister were the ones who arranged for me to meet my late husband. He was a Baha'i in their community. I was not even looking to get married or even to date at that time, but we got married three weeks later. The rest is history, as the old saying goes. I sure wish some Baha'is would set me up with another Baha'i man. There has to be one out there somewhere who is looking to get married.
Trailblazer
Veteran Member
I have my peaceful days. I hope my attitude can remain somewhat upbeat but I could get discouraged again.
Yes I know that you don't think one size fits all and neither do I! We humans are all very unique.
I feel the same way, but I don't see it as a problem. When I was married, I didn't want to have sex (or any activity) that both of us don't want to engage in. The problem is that my late husband did not want to engage in many activities and if he did want sex he never told me. I knew from discussions we had that he had shame issues regarding sex that dated back to his childhood, and he never seemed to get over them. However, if I was the one who instigated the sex then he did not have a problem with it. Yes, that's clear
, but there were no times when we did not both want to engage at the same time, although there might have been times when he wanted to engage and I did not know it! You know, it is all kind of a blur now, and I only remember generalities, not specifics. It is actually too painful to think about and I have no idea why widows and widowers want to think about the past, because the past is gone. I am only thinking about it now becasue I am talking to you, and that's okay as long as I don't dwell on it.
I am totally with you on that one! I know I can be happy in a general sense without a man, but my situation is different from yours, since I was married to the same man for 37 years, so it is quite an adjustment not having him here, although he pays me a visit from time to time, so I know he is not gone. Only his body is gone, but since I don't believe we are our bodies, I know he is not gone. That is another subject, but I am certainly not the only one who has experienced this.
No, I am not going to put up with crap. I learned one more lesson recently, with this man who wanted me to adopt out all my cats and so he could have me all to himself. He also did not accept the Baha'i law of no sex out of wedlock. I told him more than once that I was not going to give up the cats or have sex out of wedlock, but he thought he could convince me to do so. I finally had to be very abrupt with him so now he knows that whatever he thought we had is over. Now, in retrospect, I realize that the only reason I got involved with him was because I was lonely and this was last December during the holidays.
I am in a completely different head space now, grateful to God for that experience because it was a wake-up call. There have been other men I met on dating sites but it never got out the door. The conversation usually ended as soonas they found out I won't have sex out of wedlock or they found out I had cats. Most men are dog lovers, although I meet an occasional cat lover.
Yes, the hormones are a big factor since they don't drop off as much in en as in women. I cannot say how much that led me to go off sex, since other things were going on at the time, but I can say I really had no desire. Of course that might have been different if I got married again and I had a sexual attraction to man, I don't know. Only God knows what will happen in the future.
But even if I had no sexual desire I cannot see myself as depriving my husband since I would see that as selfish.
I probably could get along with a man who was not a Baha'i as long as he respected my beliefs, but I want to do more than just get along. I want to live a Baha'i life, because I know that is what God wants what my late husband would have wanted for me. It would be much easier for me to lead a Baha'i life if I was married to a Baha'i man, since by myself I am not very motivated to be involved with religious activities.
Actually, there is a funny story about that psychiatrist, Dr. Grindlinger. I was seeing him right after I got married, during the first six months, and he knew I had gotten married after only three weeks. He knew I knew nothing about sex so he recommended this book fore to read. Although I forgot the name of the book, I do recall that it said there are three kinds of sex: Romantic sex for love, sex for procreation, and recreational sex. I never forgot that because I only wanted sex for love. When you compare sex with a tennis match, what you are referring to is recreational sex.
So I believe that people with goodwill and caring for their partners can work out difficulties if they communicate. Even with little communication from him, I worked it out, as I am a problem solver, and I wanted what I wanted so I figured out a way to get it. Motivation is very important. I can see that now even as it applies to finding another husband. I can easily get discouraged and lack motivation but if I lose interest entirely I am probably going to remain alone forever, because nobody is going to come knocking on my door.
With all due respect, you are playing in a completely different ball park than me since your attitudes towards sex and what it is for are differenrt from mine. I believe it is only for love and only in marriage. I believed that even before I became a Baha'i at age 17, so I passed up many opportunities to have sex as a teenager back in the 1960s when free love was very popular.
Incidentally, I had no instruction on my job when I was hired in 2010 and I made some mistakes but the world did not end. I had to learn my job all on my own but eventually I knew it very well. The world certainly won't end if people make sexual mistakes although I can understand how it could lead to discouragement in some people. However, I am not easily discouraged once I set my mind to something I consider important.
Trailblazer
Veteran Member
That man I mentioned in the OP took issue with the Baha’i wedding ceremony wherein the wedding vow is “Verily we will all abide by the will of God.” He only did not believe a single word of it, he opposed it because he said that he would never submit to any God, even if God was to suddenly appear before him! It is obvious that this man has issues with the God he does not believe exists! Obviously, you are not like that atheist since you are neutral about God since you were raised as an atheist, unlike many atheists who had a Christian upbringing.
I also consider those things you mentioned far more important than the wedding ceremony itself because we have to live with the person and their habits and they have to live with us! The Baha'i wedding ceremony is symbolic and “Verily we will all abide by the will of God” means something to Baha'is, but not to others. Quite honestly, as I said in my post to @Truthseeker last night, I cannot really see myself married to anyone except a Baha'i, since that is what drives my life. A Christian might also be okay with those vows but there would probably be other problems, such as disagreements on how we are saved what it means to be saved!nly appear before him!
Nimos
Well-Known Member
I wouldn't say I'm neutral, but if I don't believe in something being true I don't really care that much if it doesn't affect my life in regard to stuff I really don't want to do. But I would respect Islamic and Christian traditions if I were to go somewhere where they had certain rules etc.Obviously, you are not like that atheist since you are neutral about God since you were raised as an atheist, unlike many atheists who had a Christian upbringing.
But a marriage ceremony is basically a once-in-a-lifetime thing if things go well
and is of great importance for some people, so that wouldn't be an issue. But let's say these people are at an age where they might want to have children, then issues would quickly arise because I would personally not allow my children to be forced into a religion to get their heads filled with stuff about God and nonsense rules, it would need to be their own choice at an age where they understood what it was. So in that sense, I wouldn't be neutral.
Trailblazer
Veteran Member
I fully agree. Even if children are raised by Baha'i parents, they are not allowed to sign up for membership in the Baha'i Faith until age 15, which is considered the age of reason, when they can make up their own minds.
Nimos
Well-Known Member
But one thing is, whether they can sign up or not before a given age if they are "forced" to participate in stuff regardless.
JW have a 16+ age restriction before they can get baptized and it is not to pick on them, but:
In addition to the two weekly scheduled meetings, the Watch Tower Society recommends that Witnesses maintain a weekly "Family Worship evening"—using the time previously allocated for a third weekly meeting—for family and personal study.
It doesn't require a higher education to figure out that if you spend that much time on religion each week that one's kids will be strongly influenced.
Don't know how it is done in the Bahai faith, as JW in my opinion are some of the most devoted people to their religion out there, at least from my limited knowledge.