I believe it depends on how we define violence. Islam simply promotes standing up for one's life, defending honor, life and properties, have strict rules to scare the evil from committing crime (not to actually apply those rules for fun on murderers and rapists), preparing power to protect land, properties and honor against rapists and murderers, to do something against those who walk openly to our families wanting to murder or rape them, instead of just watching them have their way....
If the act of fighting back those trying to rape/murder my mother or sisters, even if it results in killing those murderers/rapists in the process, is called the violence we are talking about, then by all means, yes, Islam promotes violence and I am violent.
Ma'am, please forgive me for this post if it sounded rude, but please understand that this life is harsh. This life is not perfect. We need laws that cover seriousness as well as leniency. We need balance in these two, not just one of them. Believe me, I want all to live peacefully together, but no matter what, there are who want to murder and rape for any reason. We can't just watch them to what ever they want. I'm not saying to attack, I'm saying to defend.
But I don't blame you for accusing Islam for violence (and I'm not mad btw, to the contrary, I respect your opinion and like your honesty
). It is easy to just find verses all over the internet and media that talk about killing, without knowing the context or the reason behind it, and call Islam violent.