I just think that if all bisexuals were bisexuals aboveboard, diffidence towards them would disappear.
But we do know that most bisexuals do not come out
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Everyday Biphobia
- Thread starter MysticSang'ha
- Start date
I just think that if all bisexuals were bisexuals aboveboard, diffidence towards them would disappear.
But we do know that most bisexuals do not come out
Most bisexual men don't come out because of comments like yours. I for one keep my orientation mostly to myself, becuase I deal with arse-hats that constantly try to prove that my orientation doesn't actually exist, that I am really gay, or that I am just a selfish prick. More people would be willing to be "out", if people would stop attempting to discredit and erase them for being themselves.
well...I've always been so self-confident that when I came out in middle school, homophobic comments didn't bother me at all.
Good for you, not all of us have that kind of self confidence. Different strokes for different folks. Some people are more sensitive to criticism then others. Whether or not one chooses to come out or not, is not a basis for blantant bi-erasure/phobia. If you want more people to be open and forthcoming about their sexuality, then stop bashing the entire group as being "transgressors, and ambiguous". regardless of whether or not someone has sex with the same gender for fun, or based on real attraction is of no concern.
Of course it does matter. It's like comparing romance with lust.
I don't want to sound judgmental but when you keep a secret, people think that you are hiding something you are not proud of.
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As if orientations are determined by rules. It's as if people who are left-handed do left-handed things mostly like writing or throwing, and commit a "transgression" by doing so.
Doesn't happen.
And?
Your comments are still biphobic, homophobic, and monosexist when suggesting what a "real man" does and does not in regards to his orientation.
As another example that is similar, it's entirely possible for women to say misogynistic statements about women in general. I can show you quite a few examples as a parallel, if you think that it's impossible for homosexuals to say anything homophobic.
Fears are human. And people like stability, certainties. and I do too.
Honestly, the fact that the person you love likes both sexes is not reassuring, because you will always be afraid of losing them.
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Drolefille
PolyPanGeekGirl
Biphobia, the belief that being bisexual means you're unfaithful or incapable of monogamy.
Drolefille
PolyPanGeekGirl
No. Also pansexuals don't have sex with pans. Ha. Look puns.
Wirey
Fartist
Cut me some slack. This is as close as I get to being clever.
Which is why some people make the distinction between romantic (love) and sexual (lust) feelings. Still does not make one any less Bi.
You may not want to sound judgmental, but you do. And for your information, not everyone is proud of their sexuality, so they hide it. We live in a world of "difference shaming". I hid my bisexuality for years, because I was ashamed of it. Not because it wasn't what I was, I just didn't like it. Wanted to be "normal". Not so much of a problem now, thank goodness.
Really? I am faithful to my partners, and they are not afraid of losing me to some other person, any more then they would be afraid of losing any other non-bisexual person. Just because I can and do like both sexes, does not make me any less monogamous.
Drolefille
PolyPanGeekGirl
To add on, I'm ethically non-monogamous. Finding someone else doesn't mean that I leave the first person, and everyone in my relationships knows this up front. There's no "surprise."
Additionally being monogamous doesn't make you immune to losing your partner, non-bisexuals break up ALL the time. Being in constant fear of losing your partner means there are personal issues for (the general) you to deal with.
Agreed, I have no bias against polyamorous people. I don't think that I could do it without jealousy, I am not wired that way. But people seem to think bisexuality means, you need to be with both sexes at once, or you are apt to cheat because you aren't getting "everything from one partner"... I find both of these claims ridiculous. Like I told my GF, if there is something I want that I am not getting from you sexually, there are many many other ways I can satisfy that without cheating.
Drolefille
PolyPanGeekGirl
Absolutely, I was agreeing with you and adding.
I'm not poly because I'm bisexual, I'm both poly and bisexual.
That may be technically true, but does not make a lot of sense. Bisexuality does not mean that the person is more likely to leave a relationship, nor to be unfaithful or non-monogamic.
It just means that the pool of conceivable partners is not restricted by gender.
Sad, you really don't see how you continue to prove the point of the thread.
You keep exemplifying biphobia with just about every single post here. I'm bisexual. My husband and I have an open marriage. He's heterosexual. We both practice ethical non-monogamy and define fidelity in our own unique manner, but we've been together for nearly 15 years and married for going on 12 years.
But this isn't the arrangement because I'm bisexual. Our marital arrangement is something we both agreed on together. Our orientations are simply our orientations. Not equivalent, nor applicable.
You offer an opinion that is similar to what many lesbians have told me...that they run as fast as possible away because they don't think I ever had it in me to commit to a woman. In spite of the fact that most of my time in NYC was in a profoundly committed relationship with a woman I wanted to spend my life with back in the mid '90s.
Absolutely, I was agreeing with you and adding.
I'm not poly because I'm bisexual, I'm both poly and bisexual.
BINGO.
If I may: bisexuality is being attracted by people of both genders.
But it is not really very different from any other attraction. It is no more of a "deviation" than it is to find both blondes and brunettes atractive, and has no more moral or behavioral consequences.
Sure, bisexuals may be unfaithful, promiscuous or sexually compulsive. It is even conceivable that there is a statistical or even causal correlation. But I am not aware of any, and intuitively it just looks silly and offensive to assume one.
In any case, it is just cruel and dehumanizing to judge a real, specific person by a general tendency, even taking for granted that it exists in the first place (something I find exceedingly unlikely). People establish friendships and relationships with other people, not with their statistical likelihoods. Nor with their genders alone.
But it is not really very different from any other attraction. It is no more of a "deviation" than it is to find both blondes and brunettes atractive, and has no more moral or behavioral consequences.
Sure, bisexuals may be unfaithful, promiscuous or sexually compulsive. It is even conceivable that there is a statistical or even causal correlation. But I am not aware of any, and intuitively it just looks silly and offensive to assume one.
In any case, it is just cruel and dehumanizing to judge a real, specific person by a general tendency, even taking for granted that it exists in the first place (something I find exceedingly unlikely). People establish friendships and relationships with other people, not with their statistical likelihoods. Nor with their genders alone.