Perhaps then it is the quality of the interaction? I can't speak for Sey, but I've been through Jay's treatment and come out the other end.... all the better for it, I should think.
In part, rather than complain about Jay's responses, I questioned them and him, rather than dismissing either.
Or perhaps it's a difference in how we view the internet. "nice" and "mean" have different connotations in an anonymous environment. I personally try not to get worked up about deciding if people are being "mean" to me or not. (It has been noted that I have a very high tolerance for things.)
Part of that is quite likely from dealing with Jay all these years.
wa:do