to msiamcanadian:
That's nice for you. However, I would like to know how you determine whether what you experience is actually what you interpret it as. As you present it, your account is unconvincing.
I'll try to put it into words as best I can- but words fail me and I fear I won't be able to express it properly.
In the middle of the night I woke up abruptly to a very intense feeling. My body felt electrified- every inch of my body was alive- from toes to hair. I had experienced this a few times during prayer, and once when I was conversing with someone online about God. Someone had written something to me so beautiful about a comment I had made about God's love and it had ignited every inch of my soul. I knew it was the Holy Spirit speaking to me through someone. Anyway- back to my experience: I don't mean to sound crass- but the only way to describe it- was it felt orgasmic- only it wasn't sexual- and it was spread throughout every inch of my body. My arm was elevated over my head. It felt Divine. I was afraid the feeling would dissipate- but it only intensified and as it did, I felt myself floating from my bed and started to fly through the sky. As I flew, the world around me changed. I felt supercharged with love and the only thing I could see around me were fast moving clouds of vibrant colors. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. While this was happening, the feeling was intensifying and I realized I was approaching HIM. The closer I got, the more the feeling intensified. Everything around me started to slow down and darken and I felt like I was nearing my end destination, I felt as though I was about to be granted a Divine audience with HIM. The thought occurred to me then, that I may have died and was headed to my eternal home. I was so happy- so happy that my turbulations in this world were over. I wanted nothing more than to stay there. I started to make out a figure in the distance, standing in front of a wall, but it was more like looking at a photograph, I strained my eyes trying to get a more clear view, but I started floating back and the figure in front of me started to dissipate. I begged and pleaded for him not to send me back. Begged him to keep me there with him because I so desperately needed him to comfort me.. but I continued to float back. Before I knew it, I was floating back onto my bed. I was awake and realized fully at that point that although I had half considered it was a dream, that I wasn't sleeping. My hand was extended above me, as though I had been pulled from my bed. As my arm slowly lowered to my mattress, the feeling dissipated throughout my body and I was left laying there, fully awake and aware of my surroundings. I was wrapped in a blanket of peace and love-never before have I felt so safe. My room was so serene. I bolted from my room with my phone to call my parents but couldn't reach them so I went back to bed, grabbed my rosary and began to pray because I wanted to thank God for the gift he had given me.
About half way through my rosary, I began hearing a noise in one of my front spare bedrooms. It sounded like someone was tapping on the carpeted floor, or something small was falling and hitting the ground. I tried to remember what was in that room that may have fallen over, what could be falling over repeatedly- but could make no sense of it. It wasn't rythmic- there was no pattern. I'd never heard that sound before. I stopped praying to listen, I thought maybe my son had gotten out of bed but I quickly realized that everyone was fast asleep. That's when the fear began to creep in. A feeling of dread began to spread across my body, it felt paralyzing. I had a feeling something was in my front room and it was not friendly. It was distracting me, making it impossible for me to concentrate on my rosary. It was menacing. So I took a deep breath and asked Jesus and his Holy Mother to tell me what they wanted me to do. I told them that if it was their intension that I get up and go investigate the sound, that I would- but I told them how weak I was and that I didn't think I could handle what was waiting for me at the other end of the house. That I was too scared, so I asked them for a sign. I asked that if they wanted me to get up- to allow the sound to continue and I would get up, but if this sound was not of Divine origin, to please stop it so that I could continue my rosary in peace. I heard one more sound after asking my question and it stopped abruptly after that. The noise went away and the creeping sensation of fear left me. My house was again quiet.
I wrestle with this memory every time it creeps up into my head. My rational mind wants me to believe it was just a dream, but my heart knows it wasn't. I've had intense dreams before, but not like this. I've looked everywhere online for similar experiences and the only thing I can come up with is an out of body experience. What I experienced was out of worldly. I know in my heart it was real. I don't know why I, of all people, was given this gift- but I was. I haven't shared my story with many people, and some have told me it sounds more supernatural than Divine. Some have told me to be careful- that it sounds more like a demonic attack than anything- but if that's truly what it was- Satan's plan back fired. The experience fuelled my love for God in a way I can't even express. If what I felt was one tenth of what God has in store for us in Heaven- then all of the pain and suffering in this world is so worth it. I know I can never hope to feel that way again- I am unworthy of having experienced it at all. But I do feel it happened for a reason. Every time I think about it it lights a fire in my soul, it makes me strive to be a better human. It makes me want to accept him more fully in my heart.
