"Feminine" or Emotional Men

[notsoplainJane]

I think males have to be given a place to express there emotions. It is, IMO, irrational to assume that males don't feel emotions. By not teaching or giving young boys the vocabulary to express what they are feeling, they impose an artificial disability on them. Emotions don't go away; they grow more powerful in the silence until the young boy or man feels he has no option but to express it physically in crime or violence.
That was my problem. As a youth, I would fight anyone, anywhere. I didn't care if you were in class, out of class-I didn't care. To deal with the anger, rage and hatred I felt for others I would attack you. The seething sea of negativity would grow until I couldn't control myself and I would attack the person I felt so much anger, hatred and contempt for.
We need to start teaching boys to express themselves. We need to give the vocabulary to express the exact emotion. With a limited vocabulary, you can't put your finger on the exact emotion your feeling. For instance, young boys need to be able to tell the difference between anger and rage. Anger, yeah, you're ticked off but you won't do anything. Rage, however, means more than likely you will do something .

Yes we do need to do something about it, and society is slowly changing. unfortunately it's not changing fast enough. You are correct in giving young boys ( and girls) the right words and tools to express their emotions in a harmless manner would be a huge step in the process. As for right now the only thing we can do is be better for the next generation.

 

[Paranoid Android]

I think also we need to start a new movement. Not feminist or menanist but HUMANIST. The fact is, until we ALL get along, we will continue having problems. I am HUMAN first, male second.

 

[MARCELLO]

As a gay working in a construction site ( a real ona with mechanics and workers) just imagine what kind of an outsider I am among with these triple extra masculine men ?

I am feminine since I listen to opera .

I am feminine due to the way I talk ,without slang.

I am feminine because I am not keen on sleeping with anything I see that has a vagina.

I am feminine because I don't dress like I sleep on streets without bath and shave.

But I am the winner.

I speak much more languages then them,they can hardly communicate with local accents on phone .I am never ever late to office, always the last to leave,a honest,secret keeping. I am the one to have meetings with embassies and united nations,they are not.

This is how I cop with life with this masculinity issue. Rather than be submissive (sometimes impossible),I choose to work 7 days a week. This is the price I pay for being myself. ( of course limited )

Really

 

[Bunyip]

As a gay working in a construction site ( a real ona with mechanics and workers) just imagine what kind of an outsider I am among with these triple extra masculine men ?

I am feminine since I listen to opera .

I am feminine due to the way I talk ,without slang.

I am feminine because I am not keen on sleeping with anything I see that has a vagina.

I am feminine because I don't dress like I sleep on streets without bath and shave.

But I am the winner.

I speak much more languages then them,they can hardly communicate with local accents on phone .I am never ever late to office, always the last to leave,a honest,secret keeping. I am the one to have meetings with embassies and united nations,they are not.

This is how I cop with life with this masculinity issue. Rather than be submissive (sometimes impossible),I choose to work 7 days a week. This is the price I pay for being myself. ( of course limited )

Really

I saw the Village People movie when I was 16, there was definitely a construction worker in it.

 

[MARCELLO]

I saw the Village People movie when I was 16, there was definitely a construction worker in it.

There are gays of course not too much but they are not feminine. That's the point. Sure, I am not as masculine they are.

 

[Paranoid Android]

I saw the Village People movie when I was 16, there was definitely a construction worker in it.

It's interesting to me that the gay lifestyle comes up a lot here. I understand where there coming from. As an Adult Baby, many think I am either a man or a baby. But the truth is I am both. Like you mention before, I know not to expose myself to the public. It's not a safe world to do that.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

I've seen little evidence that men are any less emotional than women. The outward expression of emotions miht

I have heard some women say about there partner that they want to share there emotions with them. Now, personally, I do but not with everyone. So take this as constructive criticism, but people seem to go through there life like they are asleep, especially men.
Now, I don't know if this perception comes because I have Bipolar Disorder, but I really see men ( and women too !) deal with perceived problems either nonchalantly, or I get the feeling they really couldn't give !@#$%^&*()_ . I am surprised by there ability to deal with problems that way.
But touching on men's inability to share there emotions with a female or male partner, do you feel like women are given permission to express there emotion ? Do you believe, as I do, that society wants you to "be a man" and suck it up ? Do you also believe because men do not have either the vocabulary or the "permission" to get emotional ( angry/ sad / whatever), that men do the majority of violent crimes ?
Let me hear your opinion.

I think people, male and female, overall, should share and express their emotions less. Most "expression" of emotion seems to be either attempted emotional manipulation of another person or self-pitying whining, which people should learn to suck up more.

Also, if anything, since I was a kid, growing up in the 80's, all of society's messages seem to be that, as a man, I should share and express my emotions more, not the other way around. Additionally, if I don't, then I'm somehow deficient. Of course, once you start having relationships with women, you quickly realize that they do want you to be open with your emotions, but generally only in ways and contexts which they want and value - just like men.

 

[dust1n]

Only little ******* are afraid expressing themselves lest they be manipulated by others. Grow a pair, boys.

 

[Paranoid Android]

Only little ******* are afraid expressing themselves lest they be manipulated by others. Grow a pair, boys.

I agree. I live my feelings because they are *MY* feelings. I am not afraid of being manipulated because guess what ? I AM SMARTER THAN MANY OF THEM !! Go ahead, TRY to manipulate me. Most people that try to do it quite frankly SUCK at it. I see through there manipulation and guess what I do. ?.I LAUGH !! Because I can figure out what they are REALLY after.
Frankly, it isn't like they can do anything to me. Have I been insulted ? CHECK. Have I had people TRY to manipulate me ? CHECK. Have I had to work twice as hard for half he reward other people get ? CHECK. There is nothing ANYONE can do to me. NOTHING.
But again they can always waste their time and TRY....

 

[dust1n]

I agree. I live my feelings because they are *MY* feelings. I am not afraid of being manipulated because guess what ? I AM SMARTER THAN MANY OF THEM !! Go ahead, TRY to manipulate me. Most people that try to do it quite frankly SUCK at it. I see through there manipulation and guess what I do. ?.I LAUGH !! Because I can figure out what they are REALLY after.
Frankly, it isn't like they can do anything to me. Have I been insulted ? CHECK. Have I had people TRY to manipulate me ? CHECK. Have I had to work twice as hard for half he reward other people get ? CHECK. There is nothing ANYONE can do to me. NOTHING.
But again they can always waste their time and TRY....

Hey, no need to convince me.

 

[Yerda]

Would you have the guts to walk down your main street in a dress?

Aye, but not the guts to refuse to take my medicine when I lose a bet.

 

[Paranoid Android]

Aye, but not the guts to refuse to take my medicine when I lose a bet.

I think we have to admit, gentleman, that some of us have feminine qualities.

I do not avoid this accusation. I, like MOST men, am an emotional person. Yes, I am heterosexual, but it doesn't change that I have feminine qualities. I think that most men hide this fact, feeling that an admittance of feeling emotion will make the more "feminine", which they interpret as "weak".
I, of course, don't see women as weak but strong ! My mother struggled with my father's suicide, but she showed such strength !! She took care of my younger brother, dealt with me and my struggles and did it without complaint . At that moment, in braving up and facing my father's suicide, she was no longer a woman: SHE WAS A MAN !! And when she faced it so bravely, without weeping, I was so proud. That day she took the responsibility and choose, of her free will, to BE A MAN !

 

[Yerda]

I think we have to admit, gentleman, that some of us have feminine qualities.

I do look quite good in a dress...

I don't really think it's accurate to say that some features of a personality are feminine or masculine. Some people are dramatic, some aren't. Some people cry easily (I can get a lump in my throat watching an advert for stray animals) some never cry. Men gossip as frequently as women. And so on. There might be traits that are statistically more likely to be expressed by a member of one sex but from person to person the variance is so large that it's pointless to expect someone to have a trait based on their sex.

 

[ScottySatan]

I roomed with a Frenchman for a week. It was his first time to the US. After a few days he asked me why American men all act like they've been castrated (he didn't know the word, he instead pantomimed the act of cutting someone's junk off). When asked to elaborate, he went on to say that he thought American men were huge weenies because we never show emotion.

I told him that it's exactly the opposite here, we're taught not to show our emotions. I think it depends on the culture.

 

[Robert.Evans]

I have heard some women say about there partner that they want to share there emotions with them. Now, personally, I do but not with everyone. So take this as constructive criticism, but people seem to go through there life like they are asleep, especially men.
Now, I don't know if this perception comes because I have Bipolar Disorder, but I really see men ( and women too !) deal with perceived problems either nonchalantly, or I get the feeling they really couldn't give !@#$%^&*()_ . I am surprised by there ability to deal with problems that way.
But touching on men's inability to share there emotions with a female or male partner, do you feel like women are given permission to express there emotion ? Do you believe, as I do, that society wants you to "be a man" and suck it up ? Do you also believe because men do not have either the vocabulary or the "permission" to get emotional ( angry/ sad / whatever), that men do the majority of violent crimes ?
Let me hear your opinion.

I think men don't often understand what is going on in their own minds when younger. I think it also is more prevelant in the lower classes as there is generally a lower level of intelligence there.

 

[vaguelyhumanoid]

I think it also is more prevelant in the lower classes as there is generally a lower level of intelligence there.

education =/= intelligence

 

[Revoltingest]

I think men don't often understand what is going on in their own minds when younger. I think it also is more prevelant in the lower classes as there is generally a lower level of intelligence there.

Dis'n groundskeepers now, eh.

 

[Deidre]

Being 'emotional' isn't a feminine trait, that has been a cultural narrative however for a long time. Men should be able to express their emotions of sadness, anger, etc...and not be judged as being 'feminine.' The definition of femininity isn't that women are wilting little flowers, either. That too needs to change.

 

[Robert.Evans]

education =/= intelligence

genes = intelligence.

 

[Robert.Evans]

Dis'n groundskeepers now, eh.

Tis a male thing, I think. Young girls tend to be more in tune with what they feel. Most your boys, certainly working class from my experience, don't, and just deal with life as it comes at them.