Flirting vs. Sexual Harassment

[Jainarayan]

Kevin Spacey is an actual rapist.

Follow the story again. But enough of mob mentality.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

The problem is, no one knows how to flirt these days. If you want flirting tips, find the man who looks like a 7-8, not a 10, getting all the women and not ending up in jail in doing so.

Flirting is a dark art.

 

[Audie]

I disagree. I watched a YouTube video where an attractive, muscular guy purposely messed up pickup lines and acted really nervous. Most women still gave him their number. I watched another video where a guy wore a hoodie and approached women and they all rejected him. Then he took off his shirt to reveal his muscular body and ripped abs and climbed into his yellow Ferrari. Over half of the women chased him and said "Oh, wait....."

Ah, youtube, staged. I could not be more impressed ifn
you had an instagram post too.

Seriously, though, that is not a realistic
model, and it is not at all what I was
talking about.

And "creepy" has far more to do with
behaviour than appearance.

I was referring to handsome face v
ordinary or ugly.

Show me a guy who does not know how
to take care of himself, and I will show you
someone who lacks any sex appeal.
Girls dont want to adopt you.


Acting shy may be cure, but behaving
inappropriately never is.

You dont have to understand that, your
love life is not my concern.

 

[Darkforbid]

Kevin Spacey is an actual rapist. His actions are clearly and absolutely wrong. I'm talking about guys like Matt Lauer.

Thanks I'll forward that to Spacey legal team

 

[The Reverend Bob]

You see this woman? :

You see this gorgeous voluptuous goddess?
Well, that goddess is married much to my wonder and chagrin is married to this guy:

I don't care how you do the math but those two do not belong in the same room together yet married. She is way too hot for that geek! It is like he not only got hit by the ugly but he is the actual son of the ugly stick. Yet, they are in love and married. Lucky bastherd.
So, that goes to show you, even physically unattractive guy and get very pretty women. Why? Because good looks aren't the only thing that make people attractive. Creepiness is something about looks, it is about character, so stop being creepy, cultivate yourself if your not good-looking, hell cultivate yourself if you are good-looking for that matter and be attractive on the inside and people will like you.

 

[Enoch07]

Thoughts? Do you have any better way of distinguishing between flirting and harassment? Let's see it.

Flirting only becomes harrassment after the person who was flirted with once already has declined the offer. Any further flirting is harassment.

So basically you can flirt/compliment once. If it is well received you may continue. If it is declined then walk away or face possible accusations of harassment.

 

[Kirran]

If you're objectifying people that will often come through and make you seem creepy. Sexual harassment and flirting are distinctly different things, context is very important.

 

[Stevicus]

You see this woman? :

You see this gorgeous voluptuous goddess?
Well, that goddess is married much to my wonder and chagrin is married to this guy:

I don't care how you do the math but those two do not belong in the same room together yet married. She is way too hot for that geek! It is like he not only got hit by the ugly but he is the actual son of the ugly stick. Yet, they are in love and married. Lucky bastherd.
So, that goes to show you, even physically unattractive guy and get very pretty women. Why? Because good looks aren't the only thing that make people attractive. Creepiness is something about looks, it is about character, so stop being creepy, cultivate yourself if your not good-looking, hell cultivate yourself if you are good-looking for that matter and be attractive on the inside and people will like you.

 

[Quintessence]

If a man accused a woman of "verbal harassment" he'd be laughed at.

Not in my office, he wouldn't. Nor would he be laughed at by our Title IX coordinators who deal with cases harassment - regardless of the sexes involved - on a regular basis.

There is a double standard, which I think is somewhat justified due to size and strength differences.

There are many places where such unjustified and sexist double standards are absent. I'm sorry you live in a culture where harassment gets ignored and laughed at. That doesn't happen where I live. Not only does this not happen, but colleagues risk loosing their jobs if they trivialize sexual harassment. And it doesn't matter if it's men harassing men, women harassing women, women harassing men, men harassing women, or transsexuals harassing people. It's all treated the same and as no laughing matter.

However, I do think harassment accusations that don't involve touching have gone way too far.

Fortunately for the victims of sexual harassment, it isn't up to you to determine whether or not it's gone too far.

 

[Audie]

If you're objectifying people that will often come through and make you seem creepy. Sexual harassment and flirting are distinctly different things, context is very important.

Exactly. Harassment is done by people who
dont know how to behave, or, of course, get
their pleasure from harassment.

Either way it is not "seem"creepy, it is creepy.

 

[Kirran]

Exactly. Harassment is done by people who
dont know how to behave, or, of course, get
their pleasure from harassment.

Either way it is not "seem"creepy, it is creepy.

I can only think that a certain degree of wilful ignorance is at work in those who profess not to understand the distinction.

 

[Audie]

Not in my office, he wouldn't. Nor would he be laughed at by our Title IX coordinators who deal with cases harassment - regardless of the sexes involved - on a regular basis.



There are many places where such unjustified and sexist double standards are absent. I'm sorry you live in a culture where harassment gets ignored and laughed at. That doesn't happen where I live. Not only does this not happen, but colleagues risk loosing their jobs if they trivialize sexual harassment. And it doesn't matter if it's men harassing men, women harassing women, women harassing men, men harassing women, or transsexuals harassing people. It's all treated the same and as no laughing matter.



Fortunately for the victims of sexual harassment, it isn't up to you to determine whether or not it's gone too far.

The "laughed at" and "double standard" are
both imaginary.

 

[Audie]

I can only think that a certain degree of wilful ignorance is at work in those who profess not to understand the distinction.

As I said to one who professes so, "you dont have a point".

 

[The Reverend Bob]

Well when it comes to sex malakas have lots of practice

 

[The Reverend Bob]

Follow the story again. But enough of mob mentality.

Yeah, him and Trump were completely "exonerated"

 

[Estro Felino]

I am from a Mediterranean country...where generally women are taught it is not ladylike or feminine to make the first move, or to hit on a man.
Hitting on a male is something I would never do, even if I have a big crush on him.


So if a woman likes a guy, she is supposed to wait for him to make the first move...
So the males can and should hit on a girl if they like her...
It is sufficient to use words and to be polite.
This is not harassement at all.

 

[Estro Felino]

Btw...I believe (this is my personal opinion) it is not feminine to hit on a man..and my femininity is something I really want to preserve.

 

[Stevicus]

All of this is so. The point here is as I tried to
point out to the opster, if a person lacks subtlety,
lacks skill / perception in social interactions, they
will be rebuffed.

Yes, I agree with that. Although I think most people should understand at least some of the basics - such as good manners. It doesn't mean they always practice them, but they should have an idea as to what they are.

But even then, I think it's also readily apparent when someone is simply clueless or lacking skill (such as a naive young farm boy visiting the big city for the first time), as opposed to someone who is intentionally behaving in a malicious or provocative manner.

At least in many of the sexual harassment cases I'm aware of, it's not due to lack of skill, as it's clear that the perpetrators knew exactly what they were doing. It's not like these are just clueless nerds fumbling with cheesy pick-up lines they learned from watching The Love Boat. (I think that show ruined everything.)

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

I am from a Mediterranean country...where generally women are taught it is not ladykike or feminine to make the first move, or to hit on a man.
Hitting on a male is something I would never do, even if I have a big crush on him.


So if a woman likes a guy, she is supposed to wait for him to make the first move...
So the males can and should hit on a girl if they like her...
It is sufficient to use words and to be polite.
This is not harassement at all.

That's kind of sad to me as an American person. (No offense). Because I only make the first move 50 percent of the time even when interested.

 

[Koldo]

Flirting only becomes harrassment after the person who was flirted with once already has declined the offer. Any further flirting is harassment.

So basically you can flirt/compliment once. If it is well received you may continue. If it is declined then walk away or face possible accusations of harassment.

This is pretty much how I see it. There are some exceptions I can imagine but it works as a rule of thumb.