'Have a Blessed Day' versus 'Hope You Get Lucky Tonight'

[9-10ths_Penguin]

And "real people" have tried to point out that the concept of blessing isn't really specific to religion, let alone Christianity.

... when it's convenient. Other times, the same people hypocritically complain that telling people not to say "have a blessed day" is restricting their expression of their Christian religion.

See, language changes over time. I thought I (or one of the other people trying) made that point around the time I brought up calling homosexuals 'gay,' and and you dropped the "mighty white of you" argument like it had burned you.

I didn't drop it; I made my point and moved on. My point still stands.

At any rate, what the words mean now is what's important. Some Christians get upset because people wish them well in ways that aren't explicitly Christian

Such as "have a blessed day."

Some atheists get upset because people wish them well in ways that imply not everyone is atheist.

Avoiding expressions with religious baggage doesn't imply that everyone is atheist; it just acknowledges that religion isn't something that's common to all people.

We can't ignore what doesn't exist. Someone else simply being religious is not "religious baggage."

Make up your mind: is "have a blessed day" an expression of religion or not? It's disingenuous of you to suggest that it's an example of someone "simply being religious" in the very same post where you claim that the expression isn't religious.

Please support your claim.

If you've never heard people like this, who promise to say "have a blessed day" as a way to flip the bird to the "PC police", then you haven't been paying attention:

Have a blessed day; now fire me if you dare! | jacksonville.com

Oh, nice personal jab. Let me try:
I bet if you read carefully enough to realize that we're discussing a farewell, which you've called a greeting at least twice, my points would be easier to see.

Have a blessed day.

Well, at least you've dropped the pretense of courtesy. Getting rid of that logical disconnect is an important first step to making your position intellectually honest.

 

[Storm]

I know, right?

Clearly, you don't.

I really do not get the ire.

I know. People who say things like

I might do well to cut her tip in half when she uses it, and give her the full 20 % if she doesn't. I will train her the best I can.​

never do. That's a person you're talking about. She does not exist to make you feel powerful. But you obviously don't get that either.

Why does my plan to take a small stand on a minor matter get to you so much?

It doesn't. Your breathtaking entitlement does. The way you cackle and stroke yourself at the thought of putting her in her place does. The fact that your idea of taking "a small stand on a minor matter" is to go out of your way to make a woman just trying to do her job sexually uncomfortable does.

And why are you such a meanie?

The hypocrisy doesn't help, either.

 

[sojourner]

No, it's not. Nobody's telling you that you can't say "have a blessed day" to whoever you want. I'm telling you about what effect it elicits in some people when you say it. If you care about the effect you have on people you interact with, you'll take this into account. You're free to disregard this; just be aware of how you'll be perceived if you do.

Just a thought: Instead of condoning the overreaction of people to innocuous well-wishes and censuring the wisher, why not admonish people to not be so mean when they encounter what's perceived as a minor irritation?

 

[Storm]

... when it's convenient. Other times, the same people hypocritically complain that telling people not to say "have a blessed day" is restricting their expression of their Christian religion.

That is the foundation of your argument, is it not? That the blatant Christianity is offensive?

Your argument is wrong, and your offense is completely hypocritical and inane, but even if it were justified, you'd be trying to police someone else's religious expression on the flimsy excuse that being Christian in your presence is an imposition upon you.

I didn't drop it; I made my point and moved on. My point still stands.

Actually, that had been shredded by quite a few people before I even got there, but at least you've dropped the pretense of honesty.

Avoiding expressions with religious baggage doesn't imply that everyone is atheist

No, but avoiding any expression that any atheist with an axe to grind could possibly claim to have religious baggage maintains a pleasant facade for such people.

Make up your mind: is "have a blessed day" an expression of religion or not? It's disingenuous of you to suggest that it's an example of someone "simply being religious" in the very same post where you claim that the expression isn't religious.

It's disingenuous to make the claim and impugn people for addressing it unless they admit you're right.

If you've never heard people like this

The polite insult is high art in the South. If you can't tell it from sincerity, you're hardly the only one. That said, it's not reasonable to assume that all instances of a popular farewell are always and inherently instances of politely insult is just stupid.

Well, at least you've dropped the pretense of courtesy.

No pretense on my part. As I said, courtesy is how we signal strangers that we're not looking for conflict. You are actively seeking conflict and trying to hide behind the pretense of courtesy. I did try to be civil, but I've had quite enough of that game.

Getting rid of that logical disconnect is an important first step to making your position intellectually honest.

Oh, bless your heart, that is so precious!

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

Just a thought: Instead of condoning the overreaction of people to innocuous well-wishes and censuring the wisher, why not admonish people to not be so mean when they encounter what's perceived as a minor irritation?

Mean in what way, exactly?

Cutting a server's tip, like Uberpod suggested? I agree that's out of line... though more because of my attitude about tipping than any notion that his feelings are misplaced. I think his feelings about the expression are legitimate; that's just not a good way to express them.

I'm not sure if I've talked about my typical reaction to "have a blessed day", but I'll tell you now: I try not to let it bother me. That's it.

Now... despite my best efforts, it DOES bother me. I have a feeling that the people who say it, if they're bothering to pay attention, would be able to see that I react to the expression. It's off-putting. It creates a distance between me and the other person.

My biggest sympathy here is for people who feel like this but get it constantly. In certain areas, it's just one example of the religious background noise that tells non-believers in those areas that they aren't full participants in their society.

So far, everyone is talking about "have a blessed day" as if it exists in isolation; it doesn't. It took on an ominous tone in, for instance, Cranston, Rhode Island, when members of the local Christian population was anonymously wishing "blessings" on Jessica Ahlquist to the point where she needs a police escort to school.

Jessica Ahlquist - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Saying "have a blessed day" to people can be used to signal that you're a member of the dominant religious group in the area. And sometimes, those dominant religious groups are pretty unsavoury. There's a certain type of personal benefit from announcing your allegiance with them (since if you let everyone know that you're with the big guy nobody wants to mess with, they probably won't want to mess with you, either), but this kind of system can make it very difficult for people who aren't in the in-group.

 

[sojourner]

Mean in what way, exactly?

Cutting a server's tip, like Uberpod suggested? I agree that's out of line... though more because of my attitude about tipping than any notion that his feelings are misplaced. I think his feelings about the expression are legitimate; that's just not a good way to express them.

I'm not sure if I've talked about my typical reaction to "have a blessed day", but I'll tell you now: I try not to let it bother me. That's it.

Now... despite my best efforts, it DOES bother me. I have a feeling that the people who say it, if they're bothering to pay attention, would be able to see that I react to the expression. It's off-putting. It creates a distance between me and the other person.

My biggest sympathy here is for people who feel like this but get it constantly. In certain areas, it's just one example of the religious background noise that tells non-believers in those areas that they aren't full participants in their society.

So far, everyone is talking about "have a blessed day" as if it exists in isolation; it doesn't. It took on an ominous tone in, for instance, Cranston, Rhode Island, when members of the local Christian population was anonymously wishing "blessings" on Jessica Ahlquist to the point where she needs a police escort to school.

Jessica Ahlquist - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Saying "have a blessed day" to people can be used to signal that you're a member of the dominant religious group in the area. And sometimes, those dominant religious groups are pretty unsavoury. There's a certain type of personal benefit from announcing your allegiance with them (since if you let everyone know that you're with the big guy nobody wants to mess with, they probably won't want to mess with you, either), but this kind of system can make it very difficult for people who aren't in the in-group.

I get it, Penguin. I really do. I live in a place where there is a glut of evangelical churches, each more entitled than the last. I've had my kid cornered on the playground by other kids because he was Episcopalian instead of Baptist. Once, a clergy friend of mine, who happened to know the (female) Rabbi in town, was chatting with her at a citywide clergy gathering. The senior pastor of one of the large Baptist churches came up to him. My friend said, "Do you know Rabbi Sara?" The pastor literally cruised her up and down and said, "Oh. You're that Jew-woman." And walked off.

I find the greeting a *little* off-putting as well. It's kind of an entitled sort of statement -- especially coming from someone you don't know. I suppose I've been around it long enough that I've kind of grown a thick skin where that's concerned.

Thanks for pointing the issue out the way you have. You may have changed my mind on my stance on the issue. You've at least caused me to think more about it.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

I get it, Penguin. I really do. I live in a place where there is a glut of evangelical churches, each more entitled than the last.

I've dealt with that too in my professional life: trying to make decisions about a new roadway based on road safety, traffic operations, and minimizing environmental impact, and the church along the route for the new road tries to do an end run around the environmental assessment process by going straight to the local councillors with a message that says not-so-subtly "we want you to compromise your design to suit us so that our driveway ends up where we want it. Never mind all the other factors you're supposed to consider; we have a huge congregation and we vote as a bloc."

... though here, it's not just the Evangelicals. We have a weird arrangement of Catholic schools (taxpayer-funded and government-run), so when debates about the role of religion in government and society happen, most of the pushback tends to come from the Catholics.

I've had my kid cornered on the playground by other kids because he was Episcopalian instead of Baptist. Once, a clergy friend of mine, who happened to know the (female) Rabbi in town, was chatting with her at a citywide clergy gathering. The senior pastor of one of the large Baptist churches came up to him. My friend said, "Do you know Rabbi Sara?" The pastor literally cruised her up and down and said, "Oh. You're that Jew-woman." And walked off.

That's unfortunate.

I find the greeting a *little* off-putting as well. It's kind of an entitled sort of statement -- especially coming from someone you don't know. I suppose I've been around it long enough that I've kind of grown a thick skin where that's concerned.

More than anything else, I see it as (usually) Christian-specific jargon that people can use to signal who they are to like-minded people.

It's not that different from professional jargon in that regard. There are plenty of little phrases that I could use in my speech and writing to signal to other people that I'm an engineer (usually with the implication that my opinion should be given greater weight), but when I'm talking to a non-technical audience, I generally try to avoid them, since I feel that if my arguments are reasonable, the fact that I'm an engineer shouldn't matter.

The same way some engineers use little jargon-y phrases to try and get people to take them more seriously, I think there are plenty of Christians who use "have a blessed day" and similar phrases to signal that they're "godly" people and therefore should be regarded more highly.

And sometimes, the benefit is direct and literal. I happened to be listening to my local Christian radio station a few weeks ago and heard a commercial for a local car dealership. According to the ad, if you ask for a particular salesman and tell him you're a "brother or sister in Christ", you get $500 off a new car. They were also cateful to mention that the dealership is owned by a Christian family.

I realize that there's quite a bit of favouritism for Christians - or particular denominations - below the surface. Of course, it's not usually as overt as that dealership, but there's often a very strong in-group/out-group dynamic, which makes small signals that one is in the in-group (e.g. saying "have a blessed day") not always that inocuous.

Thanks for pointing the issue out the way you have. You may have changed my mind on my stance on the issue. You've at least caused me to think more about it.

Thanks.

 

[sojourner]

I've dealt with that too in my professional life: trying to make decisions about a new roadway based on road safety, traffic operations, and minimizing environmental impact, and the church along the route for the new road tries to do an end run around the environmental assessment process by going straight to the local councillors with a message that says not-so-subtly "we want you to compromise your design to suit us so that our driveway ends up where we want it. Never mind all the other factors you're supposed to consider; we have a huge congregation and we vote as a bloc."

... though here, it's not just the Evangelicals. We have a weird arrangement of Catholic schools (taxpayer-funded and government-run), so when debates about the role of religion in government and society happen, most of the pushback tends to come from the Catholics.


That's unfortunate.

More than anything else, I see it as (usually) Christian-specific jargon that people can use to signal who they are to like-minded people.

It's not that different from professional jargon in that regard. There are plenty of little phrases that I could use in my speech and writing to signal to other people that I'm an engineer (usually with the implication that my opinion should be given greater weight), but when I'm talking to a non-technical audience, I generally try to avoid them, since I feel that if my arguments are reasonable, the fact that I'm an engineer shouldn't matter.

The same way some engineers use little jargon-y phrases to try and get people to take them more seriously, I think there are plenty of Christians who use "have a blessed day" and similar phrases to signal that they're "godly" people and therefore should be regarded more highly.

And sometimes, the benefit is direct and literal. I happened to be listening to my local Christian radio station a few weeks ago and heard a commercial for a local car dealership. According to the ad, if you ask for a particular salesman and tell him you're a "brother or sister in Christ", you get $500 off a new car. They were also cateful to mention that the dealership is owned by a Christian family.

I realize that there's quite a bit of favouritism for Christians - or particular denominations - below the surface. Of course, it's not usually as overt as that dealership, but there's often a very strong in-group/out-group dynamic, which makes small signals that one is in the in-group (e.g. saying "have a blessed day") not always that inocuous.


Thanks.

I really waffle between:
1) the person is sincere; just socially inept
2) the person is sincere; just annoying
3) the person is entitled
4) the person is "showing off"/positioning her/himself.

And it's probably any of these choices, depending on the person. But as I say, I usually take it as a compliment and ignore the implications.

 

[sojourner]

I've dealt with that too in my professional life: trying to make decisions about a new roadway based on road safety, traffic operations, and minimizing environmental impact, and the church along the route for the new road tries to do an end run around the environmental assessment process by going straight to the local councillors with a message that says not-so-subtly "we want you to compromise your design to suit us so that our driveway ends up where we want it. Never mind all the other factors you're supposed to consider; we have a huge congregation and we vote as a bloc."

... though here, it's not just the Evangelicals. We have a weird arrangement of Catholic schools (taxpayer-funded and government-run), so when debates about the role of religion in government and society happen, most of the pushback tends to come from the Catholics.


That's unfortunate.

More than anything else, I see it as (usually) Christian-specific jargon that people can use to signal who they are to like-minded people.

It's not that different from professional jargon in that regard. There are plenty of little phrases that I could use in my speech and writing to signal to other people that I'm an engineer (usually with the implication that my opinion should be given greater weight), but when I'm talking to a non-technical audience, I generally try to avoid them, since I feel that if my arguments are reasonable, the fact that I'm an engineer shouldn't matter.

The same way some engineers use little jargon-y phrases to try and get people to take them more seriously, I think there are plenty of Christians who use "have a blessed day" and similar phrases to signal that they're "godly" people and therefore should be regarded more highly.

And sometimes, the benefit is direct and literal. I happened to be listening to my local Christian radio station a few weeks ago and heard a commercial for a local car dealership. According to the ad, if you ask for a particular salesman and tell him you're a "brother or sister in Christ", you get $500 off a new car. They were also cateful to mention that the dealership is owned by a Christian family.

I realize that there's quite a bit of favouritism for Christians - or particular denominations - below the surface. Of course, it's not usually as overt as that dealership, but there's often a very strong in-group/out-group dynamic, which makes small signals that one is in the in-group (e.g. saying "have a blessed day") not always that inocuous.


Thanks.

BTW: "jargon-y?" Must be an "industry term." :-D

 

[FunctionalAtheist]

Again, my apology for not following the thread closely. But last night I woke up responding to "have a blessed day" in a dream. My response was to smile heartily with eyes wide and say "Oh how precious! May your invisible friend bless your day as well."

 

[Uberpod]

May your sexual satisfaction be plentiful for you and yours!

 

[ChristineES]

Again, my apology for not following the thread closely. But last night I woke up responding to "have a blessed day" in a dream. My response was to smile heartily with eyes wide and say "Oh how precious! May your invisible friend bless your day as well."

That goes right along with the mentality: "Since you unintentionally insulted me, I will intentionally insult you". There is really no reason for that.

 

[FunctionalAtheist]

That goes right along with the mentality: "Since you unintentionally insulted me, I will intentionally insult you". There is really no reason for that.

Yes. But it also goes along with I don't know how else to tell you how self-righteous you're being without demonstrating it myself.

 

[ChristineES]

Yes. But it also goes along with I don't know how else to tell you how self-righteous you're being without demonstrating it myself.

I don't think she meant to be self-righteous, though. It doesn't really sound like it. But then, I'd need to talk to her and get to know her before I know for sure. And it has been brought up that she may have said the word "blessed" without any religious intonations, as well.

 

[Uberpod]

That goes right along with the mentality: "Since you unintentionally insulted me, I will intentionally insult you". There is really no reason for that.

Everyone in this thread should now know that such a phrase can be taken as insulting, therefore indiscriminate use is intentional. Do you agree?

I don't think she meant to be self-righteous, though. It doesn't really sound like it. But then, I'd need to talk to her and get to know her before I know for sure. And it has been brought up that she may have said the word "blessed" without any religious intonations, as well.

Wow - Christine. How in the world did you find out what the person in his dream was intending??

 

[Uberpod]

Clearly, you don't.

I know. People who say things like

I might do well to cut her tip in half when she uses it, and give her the full 20 % if she doesn't. I will train her the best I can.​

never do. That's a person you're talking about. She does not exist to make you feel powerful. But you obviously don't get that either.
It doesn't. Your breathtaking entitlement does. The way you cackle and stroke yourself at the thought of putting her in her place does. The fact that your idea of taking "a small stand on a minor matter" is to go out of your way to make a woman just trying to do her job sexually uncomfortable does.
The hypocrisy doesn't help, either.

In any case, I hope you grappled with this issue enough, so that if, during your next shift at Appleby's, a fellow waitress utters the phrase to a departing customer who then seems annoyed, you might be able to explain it to her.

 

[FunctionalAtheist]

Not responding to any particular post, but to put a different light on the issue (apologies Ubepod if I'm taking this away from the direction you'd like to go). If this were an employment situation, say state or fed, and many international corporations as well, the innocuous greeting would certainly be deemed inappropriate if said to someone who then made it clear it made them uncomfortable, and would lead to termination if an employee was warned, then reprimanded, and continued.

 

[ChristineES]

Everyone in this thread should now know that such a phrase can be taken as insulting, therefore indiscriminate use is intentional. Do you agree?


Wow - Christine. How in the world did you find out what the person in his dream was intending??

No, not everyone knows that such a statement is insulting, I am not sure why you think she or anyone else would know, believe it or not, people are not clairvoyant. You know what I meant about that. At least, I think you should have.

 

[ChristineES]

In any case, I hope you grappled with this issue enough, so that if, during your next shift at Appleby's, a fellow waitress utters the phrase to a departing customer who then seems annoyed, you might be able to explain it to her.

I remember one day, a woman dropped her groceries all over the floor. I helped her pick them up and she got totally offended because "she could have picked them up herself". I decided not to say "I know good and well you could have picked them up". If I ever see you, I will wish a totally awful, horrible day.

 

[Uberpod]

I remember one day, a woman dropped her groceries all over the floor. I helped her pick them up and she got totally offended because "she could have picked them up herself". I decided not to say "I know good and well you could have picked them up". If I ever see you, I will wish a totally awful, horrible day.

If I ever see you, I will offer you a hug.