'Have a Blessed Day' versus 'Hope You Get Lucky Tonight'

[Storm]

If you can't be bothered to find out whether what you say will be well-received, then it's still not considerate to say it.

Context matters. Do you really want everyone in customer service grilling every last customer on deeply personal matters like marital status, fertlity, religious affiliation, and sexual and gender identity just to determine what farewell to use before handing over the change?

If it's not for the benefit of the person you're saying it to, then who else is left but you?

"Simple courtesy is the oil in the engine of society." So, everyone.

So you agree with me?

No. I absolutely oppose your attempts to twist a sound principle into defeating itself. Same as when O'Reilly does it.

 

[ChristineES]

The vast majority of Christians go their entire lives without ever saying "have a blessed day" to anyone. Are they acting like they're not Christians? Someone should tell them.




No, it's the atheist version of saying "but I don't have any kids" when someone wishes me happy Father's Day because they assume any guy in his 30s is a parent.

Well, that's very true. I never say "have a blessed day" to anyone. I do use the word blessed to describe how I might be feeling at a moment in time or to say that I was "blessed" by a Gospel singer's performance, which I did recently on Facebook.

I don't wish a man "Happy Father's Day" unless I know he's a father. (I once heard of a man who was wished a "Happy Father's Day" by someone and broke down because he recently lost his only child).

 

[FunctionalAtheist]

It may be a small thing, but it's a thing: a waitress and a physician repeatedly wish me well by saying "have a blessed day" when we depart. I am not sure why I need to look through their words and see their good intentions. Yeah- and I have told the waitress I am not Christian. She does not remember me (or my order.) so she continues. She apparently always says goodbye this way.

I am an Atheist but they don't know that. But, by treating me by default as if I were Christian they are minimizing me. So, I have resolved to respond to their well-intended farewell with an assumption of my own. Having a good sex life is awesome. I know most people actually agree, but many want to keep the fact that they are sexual beings behind the curtain. However, if someone wished for me to get lucky tonight, I would feel very good intentions from them, and thank them for the good wishes. So, the golden rules says it is fine for me to try this out. What do you think??

Does it bother you if someone wishes you "Good Luck?" If not, why not? Someone hopes the randomness of the universe works out in your favor, the other hopes some non-random power works in your favor. Why look good intentions in the mouth?

What's the difference in saying you hope someone gets lucky? You're just saying you have some irrational hope that randomness favors them. You and I both know randomness doesn't have favorites, so aren't you wishing someone something irrational that you don't believe will have any affect on the outcome? At least they believe their good intentions might have some affect? You know yours don't.

 

[Uberpod]

Does it bother you if someone wishes you "Good Luck?" If not, why not? Someone hopes the randomness of the universe works out in your favor, the other hopes some non-random power works in your favor. Why look good intentions in the mouth?

This is what I hear when some says HABD: "have-a-nice-day-and-by-the-way-I'm-a-Christian-are-you-one-too-and-if-you're-not-I'm-a-better-person-than-you." And, I am pretty much right.

 

[Revasser]

This is what I hear when some says HABD: "have-a-nice-day-and-by-the-way-I'm-a-Christian-are-you-one-too-and-if-you're-not-I'm-a-better-person-than-you." And, I am pretty much right.

I would tend to agree.

And it's really hokey and how can anybody not feel like a doofus saying it to a stranger?

 

[Storm]

This is what I hear when some says HABD: "have-a-nice-day-and-by-the-way-I'm-a-Christian-are-you-one-too-and-if-you're-not-I'm-a-better-person-than-you." And, I am pretty much right.

Aren't you supposedly pitching this fit because she's the one making unjustifiable assumptions?

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

Context matters. Do you really want everyone in customer service grilling every last customer on deeply personal matters like marital status, fertlity, religious affiliation, and sexual and gender identity just to determine what farewell to use before handing over the change?

No, I expect them to use a greeting without baggage unless they know the people.

"Simple courtesy is the oil in the engine of society." So, everyone.

Courtesy is the act of trying to make those around you as comfortable as possible. Using a phrase that goes against this goal is not courteous.

No. I absolutely oppose your attempts to twist a sound principle into defeating itself. Same as when O'Reilly does it.

What sound principle? The only sound principle here is the one you're violating: that we should consider the effects our words will have before we say them.

Real people have told you that phrases like "have a blessed day" affect them negatively, but you still insist that they're good to say. Why?

 

[FunctionalAtheist]

This is what I hear when some says HABD: "have-a-nice-day-and-by-the-way-I'm-a-Christian-are-you-one-too-and-if-you're-not-I'm-a-better-person-than-you." And, I am pretty much right.

So the issues is YOUR ASSUMPTION that all people of faith are fake. I tend to get caught up in this myself, but there are actually GOOD people out there that have never thought of their beliefs as a status symbol. I don't disagree with basic assumption, but it is an assumption, it is stereotyping, and it is a symptom of one of the things I hate about religion that I to often find in myself.

You are not wrong if you separate your emotions from the issue and politely point out that you are an atheist and the blessing does not set well with you. You're not wrong if you try to start a rational dialogue.

 

[Storm]

No, I expect them to use a greeting without baggage unless they know the people.

They are. The fact that you want to force baggage onto it is your problem. It's not reasonable to expect people to avoid saying 'goodbye' because the atheist might be an etymology buff, either.

Btw, has it ever occurred to you that you don't need to be Christian for a Christian to consider you blessed in that extremely hollow sense?

Is there a reason you're paying so little attention to this thread that you keep saying 'greeting' when the contested phrase is a farewell?

Courtesy is the act of trying to make those around you as comfortable as possible.

No, that would be hospitality. Courtesy is the thousand and one empty forms we follow to keep each other calm in the face of countless strangers, most of whom don't care if we exist, but any one of whom may well mean us harm. Saying please and thank you, holding doors for people behind you, pausing to let someone move through the same space you need to be in, well-wishing strangers or inquiring into their wellbeing when we don't care at all... all the little things that we use to signal that we're notlooking for a fight.

Using a phrase that goes against this goal is not courteous.

Well wishing doesn't go against the real goal. Creating conflict because someone else's courtesy doesn't conform to your religious affiliation absolutely does.

What sound principle?

Gee, maybe the one you articulated perfectly, but abandoned when I pointed out that you're violating it?

The only sound principle here is the one you're violating: that we should consider the effects our words will have before we say them.

Odd, when you said it before, it was that we should NOT indulge in self-serving behavior that makes other people uncomfortable. Can you explain how creating conflict by insisting that a stranger's polite well-wishing is a personal attack on your freedom to believe as you wish is anything else?

Real people have told you that phrases like "have a blessed day" affect them negatively, but you still insist that they're good to say. Why?

Real people say the same about any holiday good wishes other than "merry Christmas," and use all the same arguments you have here. Do you support them?

People can say anything affects them any way they please, but that alone is insufficient to justify that everyone else change to suit them.

Here, I'll show you: your refusal to be reasonable about such a trivial matter is negatively affecting me. Now, are you obligated to admit that it is completely trivial?

 

[Uberpod]

Aren't you supposedly pitching this fit because she's the one making unjustifiable assumptions?

Sure am. Mine is reasonable. Could also be "Have-a-nice-day-and-btw-I'm-a-Christian-saying-goodbye-like-a-believer-and-whatever-you-may-believe-doesn't-matter-cause-my-God-exists-either-way."

 

[Storm]

Sure am. Mine is reasonable.

Not remotely, no.

 

[Uberpod]

Not remotely, no.

Stormy,
Have you by chance given your customers a HABD on occasion?

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

People can say anything affects them any way they please, but that alone is insufficient to justify that everyone else change to suit them.

Here, I'll show you: your refusal to be reasonable about such a trivial matter is negatively affecting me. Now, are you obligated to admit that it is completely trivial?

No, I'm not. But it does mean that when I maintain my position, I'm not really that concerned with your feelings here. And I'm not.

Of course, this is different from the topic at hand because wishing someone well is predicated on the idea that the speaker cares about the other person and should therefore take their feelings into account. A debate isn't predicated on this. If this debate makes you feel bad, that's all right by me. It's not my aim, but if that's what happens, so be it.

Now, if the "have a blessed day" crowd similarly admitted that they don't care about making a certain segment of the people they say "have a blessed day" to feel bad, then at least they'd be honest about what they're doing.

 

[sojourner]

Here's the bottom line: if you want to be considerate to another person - and wishing them well presumes that you are - you take how the other person feels into account. A message that's not welcome by the recipient isn't considerate.

What if you say "have a nice day," assuming that the person wants to have a nice day? Maybe they're wallowing in self-pity and don't care to have a nice day. Should they be offended? Should the well-wisher be dragged out and flogged for not taking the other's feelings into consideration?

Here's a story from personal experience. I was in McDonald's last week (a social travesty in and of itself), and the counter person was very positive/bubbly. She made several comments that let me know she was a Christian. she asked for my name to put on the ticket (they were a little backed up), and when I told her, she said, "Right on! God's right hand man!" And when I left, she said -- guess what! -- "have a blessed day!" Would I wear religion on my sleeve like that? NO! Would I ever say those things to others? NO! Was I offended by her? NO! She was being kind and positive toward me. If someone had told me, "May Thor's hammer go before you this day!" I wouldn't be offended. If someone said, "May Great Spirit bear you on the wind today," I wouldn't be offended. Even though I'm neither Cherokee nor a Heathen. Sometimes, Jews tell me "Happy Hanukkah!" I'm not offended.

Here's the real bottom line: I you want to be considerate to another person, you take their well-wishes for what they are and be grateful.

 

[sojourner]

No, I'm not. But it does mean that when I maintain my position, I'm not really that concerned with your feelings here. And I'm not.

Of course, this is different from the topic at hand because wishing someone well is predicated on the idea that the speaker cares about the other person and should therefore take their feelings into account. A debate isn't predicated on this. If this debate makes you feel bad, that's all right by me. It's not my aim, but if that's what happens, so be it.

Now, if the "have a blessed day" crowd similarly admitted that they don't care about making a certain segment of the people they say "have a blessed day" to feel bad, then at least they'd be honest about what they're doing.

So, you're saying that, before well-wishing can take place, a full interview should be conducted to find out all about the other person's sensitivities, emotions, philosophical stances, and familial order, so that "their feelings" can be adequately taken under consideration before one opens one's mouth? A simple street greeting among strangers asking for directions must be quite the social affair where you live...

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

So, you're saying that, before well-wishing can take place, a full interview should be conducted to find out all about the other person's sensitivities, emotions, philosophical stances, and familial order, so that "their feelings" can be adequately taken under consideration before one opens one's mouth? A simple street greeting among strangers asking for directions must be quite the social affair where you live...

Have you and Storm started some sort of straw man club?

No, you don't need to do all that. Not unless you insist on saying "have a blessed day" to every single person who wouldn't be offended by it.

Do you insist on saying "give my regards to your husband" to every woman you run into without regard to whether they're married?

Do you say "drive safe" to people without knowing whether they have a car?

It's really not that difficult a concept. I don't know why a few people here are having trouble with it.

 

[Storm]

Stormy,
Have you by chance given your customers a HABD on occasion?

Swing and a miss.

I've never said it to anyone, but I grew up with it.

 

[Storm]

Have you and Storm started some sort of straw man club?

Dude, the fact that you don't like being confronted with your own irrationality doesn't make it a strawman.

It's really not that difficult a concept.

Not difficult at all. Just completely misapplied. Just like the militant Christian conformists who insist that "happy holidays" is offensive to them.

Gee, I wonder why you keep dodging that point? Could it possibly be that you just can't rebut it?

I don't know why a few people here are having trouble with it.

A few being all but the two of you? Because while there have been some non-committal expressions of sympathy, they offered no approval for the response, and everyone with feedback is saying you two are being ridiculous.

Maybe - just maybe - it's because we're not having any trouble at all understanding.

Is it possible for you to just be in the wrong?

 

[Quintessence]

I'm really confused about a few of things:

1. I'm confused about why this thread is fifteen pages long.
2. I'm really confused about how words like "bless" and "blessings" came to always reference something religious, and specifically, the Christian religion.
3. I'm really, really confused about how offering someone good wishes (which is what blessings are) is offensive. Do people want to be cursed instead or something?

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

I'm really confused about how words like "bless" and "blessings" came to always reference something religious, and specifically, the Christian religion.

If you do a quick Google, you can find plenty of stories about alleged incidents where an employee was told by a manager not to say "have a blessed day" to customers. You can find plenty of responses from theists, usually Christian, saying how this is a violation of religious freedom and their right to practice their Christian religion.

While I disagree with their assessment of the law, I do recognize that the prevailing view from the people who actually use the expression is that they intend for it to have a religious sentiment.

I recognize that it's not an exclusively Christian thing. Apparently, the expression is popular in some Pagan groups. However, just based on the sheer number of Christians versus Pagans, in the area where the expression is the most popular (i.e. the US), when someone says "have a blessed day" to you, it's much more likely to be a Christian than a Pagan or anything else.

I'm really, really confused about how offering someone good wishes (which is what blessings are) is offensive. Do people want to be cursed instead or something?

Not just good wishes, but favours granted by God.

To see the problem, consider the opposite: someone who sees God as negative saying "have a godless day" to people. Should that person not expect to offend people?