'Have a Blessed Day' versus 'Hope You Get Lucky Tonight'

[Preachers-Wife]

Not at all, but I get to define what I get lucky at.

 

[Uberpod]

You know what's weird to me?

When a person listens to someone share something that bothers them, and then decides that minimizing their concern and treating it as illegitimate will make everything better.

As an atheist, I already feel rather marginalized. I can only imagine how it is for atheists who live in more religious areas. You and the others in this thread who are arguing that I shouldn't be bothered by this sort of thing only makes me feel more marginalized.

If you want to be considered respectful of people like me, you'll take our concerns seriously.

They will also feel like it is a good idea, and oh so clever, to end the painstaking discussion with "Have a Blessed Day"! and wonder why it is taken as an F U!

 

[Preachers-Wife]

Ok, let me see if I understand. People, who do not know you, or what you do or do not believe in, have to change how they are to keep you from having your feelings hurt?

 

[Uberpod]

Ok, let me see if I understand. People, who do not know you, or what you do or do not believe in, have to change how they are to keep you from having your feelings hurt?

People might do well to endeavor to be culturally sensitive to diversity and adopt neutral language in their discussions with the public. Further, they might do well to listen to people about perceived offenses, negotiate about alternatives acceptable to both, and/or modify their language accordingly.

 

[oldbadger]

..............................................
If you want to be considered respectful of people like me, you'll take our concerns seriously.

I think that you could possibly help yourself in this respect.

I like using 'God Bless you'...... I don't know why, possibly because I've used it all my life.
But I wouldn't want to say it to you now........ because I know that you are a strong, or extreme, Atheist. I have said 'God Bless you' to Atheists for decades (must have done!) and no atheist has ever 'pulled me up' about it, so you are probably more extreme than any atheist I have met so far, because you probably would show criticism which I could read in NVGs and body language which I'm good at.
So, how about creating a badge for extreme atheists? If we see that badge we know that you can be upset with phrases like 'Salaam' or 'Bless' or any other culture's religious greeting.
Pick a logo, publicise it, badge it, wear it (with pride) and we'll treat you different. Easy. Job done.
What d'ya say?

 

[Preachers-Wife]

So I have to change to keep your feelings from getting hurt? Why do you let others dictate your feelings?

 

[Uberpod]

So I have to change to keep your feelings from getting hurt? Why do you let others dictate your feelings?

My feelings were not hurt by this waitress, but the repetition of HABD grates on me a bit. My feelings were hurt after a protracted discussion about this late at night in this thread because of blatant disrespect. You might want to change a habit because you are a secure person who does not mind acknowledging that others differ in their beliefs and have a right to their own conscience. You might want to change a habit if you really care that a person receive a sincere wish for pleasantness without marring it. You might also recognize that who you are does not change by being polite.

 

[oldbadger]

So I have to change to keep your feelings from getting hurt? Why do you let others dictate your feelings?

Hi, and thanks for your kind comment on my post!
I guess that some folks are more extreme about belief or non-belief than most. The only person who has ever criticised my 'God Bless you' was a member of the Plymouth Brethren, but they won't even take food or drink with anybody outside their own order..... rather extreme imo.

I will continue to greet and thank as I have done all my life, but the day that some contentiously extreme person criticises me for it, that will probably cause me to back off that person as far as possible, because I distance myself from ANYBODY who is contentious, let alone conflict-high.
But I would give respect to a person who showed clearly how upset they can be by being blessed..... which leads to a badge or other clear display.

 

[Preachers-Wife]

Here is a little advice from someone who is much older and very much wiser than me.

ATTITUDE by: Charles Swindoll
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.

Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home.

The remarkable thing is we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.

And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes.

 

[ChristineES]

Personally, I try to limit being insulted from people who meant to be insulting. And even then, there were times when I decided it was better to not be insulted even when the person was insulting (although sometimes your initial response wins).

 

[Storm]

You know what's weird to me?

When a person listens to someone share something that bothers them, and then decides that minimizing their concern and treating it as illegitimate will make everything better.

As an atheist, I already feel rather marginalized. I can only imagine how it is for atheists who live in more religious areas. You and the others in this thread who are arguing that I shouldn't be bothered by this sort of thing only makes me feel more marginalized.

Gee, what would a disabled, poor, socialist, pagan dyke from Lubbock, Texas know about feeling marginalized?

How about when people are being ridiculous and trying to exploit marginalization to make everyone else conform to their narrow little worlds?

If you want to be considered respectful of people like me, you'll take our concerns seriously.

Isn't that Faux News' line for their annual War on Christmas hysteria.

If you want people to be respectful, you have to be respectable.

The problem isn't with talking like a Christian; it's with talking like the person you're talking to is Christian when you haven't bothered to find out whether they are or not.

Except for the inconvenient part where that's not actually happening.

No more than describing a pale person as "fair-skinned".

Or miserable sinning homos as gay?

If a greeting isn't thoughtless, then it takes into account the other person.

It's a farewell, not a greeting, and of course it's thoughtless.

I don't have kids, so it would be inappropriate to wish me a happy Father's Day, no matter how positively the other person regards me or fatherhood. Similar idea with "have a blessed day": if the intent is to build a relationship - or even maintain the pretense of a relationship - then a greeting that's supposed to reflect me but doesn't won't serve that purpose.

SHE'S A WAITRESS! Why on earth would you presume she wants any such thing?! She just wants to do her job, get paid, and go home, WHY is that so hard to understand?!

You might not care, but I do.

Well, that's your problem.

 

[oldbadger]

Here you go!
I didn't realise, but there already is a logo for atheism!
It just needs lots more publicity, and that's easy because the media begs for stories and a 'Do not Bless us' story linked to this logo will save any extreme atheists from 'Blessings' upset.
They could get a bit of flack in other ways from it, but 'Hey! ...... that can't be half as upsetting as somebody offering a kindness!!!!

 

[Storm]

They will also feel like it is a good idea, and oh so clever, to end the painstaking discussion with "Have a Blessed Day"! and wonder why it is taken as an F U!

Oh, no. We're not wondering. That's exactly how it was meant in that context. And it was well earned.

 

[Revoltingest]

No more than describing a pale person as "fair-skinned".

Nah.
Language Log » Ask Language Log: "…white of you"
Urban Dictionary: mighty white of you

If a greeting isn't thoughtless, then it takes into
account the other person.
I don't have kids, so it would be inappropriate to wish me a happy Father's Day, no matter how positively the other person regards me or fatherhood. Similar idea with "have a blessed day": if the intent is to build a relationship - or even maintain the pretense of a relationship - then a greeting that's supposed to reflect me but doesn't won't serve that purpose.

I see differences in likely inferences about intent.

You might not care, but I do.

I care. But you're just wrong (about the "white" remark) & overly sensitive to a perceived slight.
I suppose you could take offense at any well wishing.....
"Auf Wiedersehen" - Don't presume I speak German!
"Ciao" - Don't presume I speak Italian!
"Gesundheit" - Don't presume either that I speak German or that I'm healthy!
"Good bye" - Don't presume I'm a Christian! (It's a contraction of (God be with ye", ca @1500CE.)
We can all be charitable in receiving salutations & well wishing.

 

[Uberpod]

Oh, no. We're not wondering. That's exactly how it was meant in that context. And it was well earned.

Why did I deserve an F U?

 

[Storm]

Why did I deserve an F U?

Rampant pettiness, and your shrill insistence that anyone who dares to be religious when you insert your precious self into their lives is somehow imposing on you.

 

[Uberpod]

Rampant pettiness, and your shrill insistence that anyone who dares to be religious when you insert your precious self into their lives is somehow imposing on you.

Your perceptions are massively warped. People can be religious without bringing me into it. They and you are quite petty. The resistance and reaction to me pointing that out demonstrates the fact that the religious want to keep themselves in the default position of biased favor, They simply don't want to show mutual respect to others unlike them.

 

[oldbadger]

"Good bye" - Don't presume I'm a Christian! (It's a contraction of (God be with ye", ca @1500CE.)
We can all be charitable in receiving salutations & well wishing.

Well I'll be damned!
Good Bye ...... God be with ye.
I never knew that. I want you to go to bed tonight, knowing that you have been useful today.
God Bless you... errrr..... ummmm..... Fanks!

Tell you what..... this 'white' comment which you have sensibly contested, if a person used that (in context) just three times in Brixton High street, or most anywhere else here, I'll bet that it'd be the last time they ever did!

 

[oldbadger]

Your perceptions are massively warped. People can be religious without bringing me into it. They and you are quite petty. The resistance and reaction to me pointing that out demonstrates the fact that the religious want to keep themselves in the default position of biased favor, They simply don't want to show mutual respect to others unlike them.

Work for it!! Recognition. Get some media attention for the badge. You could wear the badge and be left alone. Think of that...... no more contentious little snarking back to people trying to be pleasant.

 

[Revoltingest]

Well I'll be damned!
Good Bye ...... God be with ye.
I never knew that. I want you to go to bed tonight, knowing that you have been useful today.
God Bless you... errrr..... ummmm..... Fanks!

I like etymology. It can be useful to get people off'n their high horses at times. I don't know much, but I remembered that one.