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Have You Ever Seriously Considered Suicide?
- Thread starter Rival
- Start date
Unveiled Artist
Veteran Member
I used to have chronic depression years ago and did everything even wrote a will. Five years ago (way later) my grandmother passed away. I was at the cemetery where they were laying her to rest and my little sister came to me (she's about 30 I think). I never got to really know my grandmother and I felt she was calling me before she passed away but my father kept her away from me. My sister said that our grandmother the more she got sick the more she separated herself from family.
I saw her cry and she said "let's call each other everyday." Ever since then, I don't think of suicide. When I do, I remember people that will be hurt when I go. If I feel like running in the street during traffic, I remind myself that I could hurt someone else in the process. People with chronic depression may find it hard to do that. I know I did. Now, I can catch myself before going into it by remembering others.
Sometimes I wonder who never did.
Brazilians are such a predatorial, helpless, reckless people that I must assume that a huge percentage of us did. For many it would reflect badly if they never did. Anywhere between 10% and 90%. Hard to tell.
In retrospect, I am just not well suited to the actual act. I lack the vocation for suicide.
There was no shortage of need and I can't say that I ever saw any sense in the so-called moral objections, at least in my case. I have certainly considered the rational aspects of it long enough, for well over a decade or even two. I had no choice, and lots of opportunity and need.
But it seems that I am that kind of person who has a lot of survival instinct even when the suffering is insuportable and I can see literally no sense in keeping on living. Many a time it has been quite the bother, in all honesty.
Aging helped a lot in removing the need itself. Ultimately, people lend older people (beyond adolescence) a lot more peace and personal space simply because they are older, all matters of actual rights, efforts and merits aside. It would have been far better to have social integration to speak of, but that was utterly denied to me back in the day.
Of course, it would have been even better not to have the need itself, but that was not to be.
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Shadow Wolf
Certified People sTabber & Business Owner
I used to have suicidal thoughts often, and it turning out my knife coming up missing is why I didn't when I was going to. Fortunately today I am very past and beyond that.
The idea of suicide is utterly foreign to me.
I voted <no>.
I voted <no>.
Aupmanyav
Be your own guru
Well, once a tooth pain shook me so badly that I did think life is useless. But as I age, if I face a very painful disease (cancer, have been smoking for the last 60 years, I have completed 74), I may consider that better than going through chemotherapy, radiation, etc.
Notanumber
A Free Man
I voted no, but if given a choice between death and submitting to Islam, I would choose the former.
Deathbydefault
Apistevist Asexual Atheist
More than a few times, but I never left any thing like a note,
I failed. I was a bit younger and less in control of myself mentally.
Only a couple of attempts could have actually killed me though.
I would be dead now if had found a gun back when I was 12 or 13.
For four consecutive years , before I got to listen to Brahma Kumari Sister Shivani's speeches , my each day , each moment was filled with thoughts of suicide.
Following an accident app 8 years ago , though I was able to over come the physical pain , I wasn't able to get through the mental disturbances , agony, fear and anger , what they call PTSD.
I was on anti depressants and sleep tablets , I had this thought that if I consume an excess quantity of them probably I would die , and one day I decided to do so , but was too scared fearing the consequence of either ending up in hell or hospital for eternity.
In a way the concept of eternal hell did help me.
I have seriously considered it several times in my life. The only thing that stopped me is that I do not wish to cause pain to those left behind.
Satans_Serrated_Edge
Deicidal
Well, I hadn't. Not until I tried to vote on this poll, and the 15 adds that kept popping up causing me to miss the 'no' circle over and over made me reconsider.
Yes. My neighbor found me, called the police and EMS. The police took the note.
I ran out of liquor. I was planning on getting to at least a .30 bac, which would have put me at least in a coma, if not actually killed me.
Lirille
Member
There were times when I couldn't care very much whether I lived or died, but I have never actually planned suicide, mostly because of my strong belief in reincarnation. I believe that taking your own (current) life accomplishes nothing - not only it would not make you feel better, but it also has the potential to make your next life worse, not better.
So in other words, you are punished for having a **** life and ending it? Wow.
A Vestigial Mote
Well-Known Member
I have never thought of it seriously, no. Basically only as a fleeting thought now and again, considering the ramifications, why others contemplate it, etc. Never with any actual intent behind the thoughts. I've always had a sort of thought at the back of my head that, come what may, there's no real reason not to face whatever it is, see it through to whatever happens, etc. If my life ever matters that little to me, I guess I still wouldn't see the point in cutting it short. If it doesn't matter... then it doesn't matter all the way through.
However, I would caveat this saying that I have never been in what I would consider dire, ongoing pain... any pain I have had has been temporary, and I would certainly shudder at the thought of facing the worst pain I have ever had being the norm for the rest of my life. Not sure how my outlook might change under those circumstances.
Emotional distress would have to get heavy to a degree I can't even currently fathom in order to affect me to that degree. I honestly don't know what it would take for me to genuinely contemplate suicide if, health-wise, I was at least mediocre to fair.
However, I would caveat this saying that I have never been in what I would consider dire, ongoing pain... any pain I have had has been temporary, and I would certainly shudder at the thought of facing the worst pain I have ever had being the norm for the rest of my life. Not sure how my outlook might change under those circumstances.
Emotional distress would have to get heavy to a degree I can't even currently fathom in order to affect me to that degree. I honestly don't know what it would take for me to genuinely contemplate suicide if, health-wise, I was at least mediocre to fair.
Lirille
Member
Punished? I never said anything about punishment. It's just that, after you die, you'll still be you. With the same pains, the same problems. You fail Life 101, you have to take the course again... from the start. There's no dropping school here.
So...if life basically set you up to fail....you have to keep on doing it? Ok.
Lirille
Member
Life never sets us up to fail - because "life" doesn't have a mind of its own. I think you're looking at it from a theistic perspective, which doesn't apply. There's no mastermind here but yourself. If we "fail", that's enterily our doing. And yes, we have to keep doing it. Until we learn what we need to learn, and move on.