I personally think it is possible to love more than one person,i think though that the story about the Man and secretary is probably quite common.
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How can i get this Woman out of my head,she can't get me out of hers :help:
- Thread starter England my lionheart
- Start date
I personally think it is possible to love more than one person,i think though that the story about the Man and secretary is probably quite common.
Interesting
Anyway I switched my phone back on,two voice messages and 3 texts,she says avoiding it isn't going to make it go away and we should be able to deal with it like adults so i'm going to meet her for lunch on Tuesday,i said i'm happy to just be friends but she asked if that was possible which I think is.
BSM1
What? Me worry?
Not at all,to avoid disappointment though she has high standards and is unlikely to lower them
I use to feel they same way about my wife until I realized who she settled for. LOL
dawny0826
Mother Heathen
Proceed brutally honestly with YOURSELF, first and foremost.
Do you love your wife? Do you really, love your wife and the life that you have together? If there are problems within your marriage, are they problems that you're willing to overcome?
If the answer is yes to any of these questions - you're heading towards cheating on your wife and that's unfair as hell, without talking to her about it. You aren't entitled to have this fun without being forthright.
Be honest with yourself and then talk to your wife about it, unless you have the balls to tell this other chick to get the hell away from you. Your wife is more important.
On the flipside, if you do not love your wife, are not happy in your marriage and would not be willing to work on issues that might exist. STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING and focus first on honestly absolving your marriage in a kind, compassionate and honest way or communicate options. She has the right to provide input. Perhaps she's going through something similar or has some things to unload on you.
Through honesty, you're free to be with whomwever you please and so is she. No pretenses.
You both deserve happiness and if this girl truly cares about you, she'll wait for you, if she's worth it.
Don't be deceitful. Nothing good comes from deceit.
Do you love your wife? Do you really, love your wife and the life that you have together? If there are problems within your marriage, are they problems that you're willing to overcome?
If the answer is yes to any of these questions - you're heading towards cheating on your wife and that's unfair as hell, without talking to her about it. You aren't entitled to have this fun without being forthright.
Be honest with yourself and then talk to your wife about it, unless you have the balls to tell this other chick to get the hell away from you. Your wife is more important.
On the flipside, if you do not love your wife, are not happy in your marriage and would not be willing to work on issues that might exist. STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING and focus first on honestly absolving your marriage in a kind, compassionate and honest way or communicate options. She has the right to provide input. Perhaps she's going through something similar or has some things to unload on you.
Through honesty, you're free to be with whomwever you please and so is she. No pretenses.
You both deserve happiness and if this girl truly cares about you, she'll wait for you, if she's worth it.
Don't be deceitful. Nothing good comes from deceit.
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Alceste
Vagabond
She sounds like a head case and a drama queen, if you don't mind my saying so. She's not respecting your boundaries. That's not a good sign.
Alceste
Vagabond
Oh yeah, if you do get sexually involved with her and she's as much of a drama queen as she seems from your description of her behavior, I guarantee she will tell your wife. So you'd best bring it up yourself if you're going to go for it. Few things are more destructive to a family than the mistress of the man of the house paying a visit to the wife. That's why nobody bothers to have much to do with my grandfather even though that awful visit happened over fifty years ago.
I agree,its not just the cheating and lying to my Wife because she is also my best friend,so I would not and could not do that to her.
Alceste
Vagabond
Good for you.
I think your best defense is understanding there is absolutely no way that you will be able to keep this a secret. Your wife will know, even if you don't say a thing. Heck, she probably knows already.
She's a medical professional,since I've known her she seems quite stable.
Alceste
Vagabond
So stable she's calling you and texting you several times a day even though you've asked her to give you some space . Right.
dawny0826
Mother Heathen
You deserve happiness. So does she. Sometimes, we're faced with the crossroads and we should always pause to evaluate our circumstances. It's okay to be interested in other people. That's natural.
But, whether or not we act or take things to a certain place is a direct reflection of other things that are going on in our lives. If your wife is your best friend, you should take this situation to her and discuss with her honestly, unless you know that this a fleeting attraction, which is perfectly normal.
Honesty is always going to be the best approach.
I would kick this ***** to the curb. I agree with Alceste, her freakish lack of respect for personal boundaries should be a sign to you that she's not all she's cracked up to be.
Is that worth more than what you have in your wife? Only you can answer this, honestly. If you''re not capable of putting her out of mind, you really should talk to your wife. She's not stupid.
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According to a woman who has written about how people handled cheating in a dozen or more different countries, if you were an American, you might confess all of what has happened so far to your wife -- on the grounds that your guilt is intolerable and you must relieve it by "coming clean" to your wife, and also on the grounds that honesty is the best policy, etc. This confessing to your wife might profoundly hurt her, but you -- as a good American -- believe you had no moral choice but to do it. Interesting, eh? Quite different from what you might do if you were, say, French.
Alceste
Vagabond
I disagree with this approach. It's natural to be attracted to other people, have romantic friendships, etc.
Deciding to bang somebody is a different kettle of fish, though. Your partner should have a say.
Im not suggesting to tell his wife as a form of guilt removal. I think it might be practicle depening on the relationship. Communication is key, she can give him advice. Do things to rekindle that old fire etc. Nice work time booty call. Extra romantic. Heck even keep tabs on you.
Plus the act of sharing could remove some of the desire.
Plus the act of sharing could remove some of the desire.
Good for you.
I think your best defense is understanding there is absolutely no way that you will be able to keep this a secret. Your wife will know, even if you don't say a thing. Heck, she probably knows already.
I've already decided that this is going no further than friendship,thats all I have to offer,i can still accept the fact that she is gorgeous and charismatic as are other female friends,i'm not weak,i spent an 8 week run being a naked savage with 2 naked women in a play,i was hand painted by a woman who did my lower half on her knees and when not on stage we used to smoke in the shower as its not allowed inside,a chair and a naked woman on each knee,most danger came from cigarette ash
dawny0826
Mother Heathen
I'm not with you on this.
Attraction to other people is normal and should be comfortable within a healthy relationship. It's the failure to communicate honestly that raises red flags.
You can have a healthy friendship with someone else that's even flirtatious and INNOCENT and there's nothing wrong with. Your significant other should be a part of it, through conversation. It eliminates worry, builds trust, etc.
Further, some couples may want to bust the boundaries of monogomy and that's okay. How the hell can you approach these issues and desires without honest communication?
Honesty is powerful and is the foundation of healthy relationships.