Shadow Wolf
Certified People sTabber & Business Owner
My father has never served as my model of god. I didn't need him to understand God's love.My dad was often absentee and emotionally detached even when he was around and I think this leaves a huge emptiness in a child's heart making it difficult to understand God's love.
According to god, I was to oppress myself, and forfeit any hope or chance of authentic living or an authentic life.I am of the view that God does not oppress, rather He lifts one up and brings liberty.
God was the one who humiliated me. While I was a Christian, I felt great shame over many things. Any sort of sexual urges were shameful, sexual curiosities about men were shameful, and knowing that I should have been born female, and needing to live as being acknowledged as female, was the most shameful of all.I once read somewhere that God humbles, but Satan humiliates and the words rang so true with me.
But even a lot of knowledge was forbidden, a lot of it was obscured, and if it wasn't from a church source it was discouraged.
Lucifer empowered me. Rather than tossing me pre-approved knowledge to fit into his worldview in order to quench my thirst for knowledge, he put a handful of salt in my mouth to drive me to seek sources of water to quench my thirst, but it has not yet been quenched. Rather than telling me to be ashamed and keep myself buried deep inside, he told me their is no reason I shouldn't live my life as I should live it.