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I have no idea which religion would fit me the best

Rainbow Mage

Lib Democrat/Agnostic/Epicurean-ish/Buddhist-ish
Well, as it turns out, that was not to be my final choice. Yesterday I was contemplating things and I decided suddenly that I wanted to stay Catholic. You see, I just recently left the Catholic Church for a more liberal religion. Well, I realize now that I was doing that for sinful reasons. So, I went to Confession and Mass and am now in full communion with the Catholic Church again. :)

Good for you if that's what you feel you should have done, but until you get out from under the Church you'll never be free like Jesus wanted. You'll continue to be bound by these false dualities of sin and salvation, rather then being free from sin for good.
 

ZooGirl02

Well-Known Member
Since when do Catholics pay any attention at all to the what the church says they should do?

You would be surprised that there are many obedient Catholics out there. However, there are also many who do not practice their religion.
 

ZooGirl02

Well-Known Member
Wow. I guess you could say that I am still really confused as far as religion goes. I guess you could say that I am actually kind of torn between Christianity and Islam at this point in time. I have wanted to be a Muslim for a long time but I am always so afraid that my family will forsake me if I convert to Islam. I did convert to Islam once before but quit practicing after my family took issue with me wearing the hijab. I am not sure what to do.
 

Caladan

Agnostic Pantheist
Wow. I guess you could say that I am still really confused as far as religion goes. I guess you could say that I am actually kind of torn between Christianity and Islam at this point in time. I have wanted to be a Muslim for a long time but I am always so afraid that my family will forsake me if I convert to Islam. I did convert to Islam once before but quit practicing after my family took issue with me wearing the hijab. I am not sure what to do.

Didn't you say this a couple of posts ago?

Well, to me, religion is just a sort of systematic way of interacting with God. Anyway, thanks for the link. I have already done extensive research on Islam and have found that it is not the religion for me. But thanks anyway!

Just curious, but how old are you ZooGirl?
 

cynic2005

Member
No offense but I do not see how I am being silly at all. As far sex goes, the Church is not adversarial towards sex. However, it does view sex as something that is a very intimate thing between a man and a woman who are married to each other. God created sex just as He created marriage and humankind. He did intend for our sexual faculties to be misused through things like masturbation, adultery, fornication, and homosexual sex. It goes against the natural law. That said, I do not want to debate about this. I just wanted to post my views on it.

As for the exploration of one's sexuality, it is fine so long as one does not give in to temptation and engage in sinful activities.

Concerning sexuality, my opposition to sexual repression comes from my understanding of psychology. Often religious couples end up going to therapy because they cannot perform. There is so much anxiety about having sex. You also have priests who end up in psychotherapy. You also have many women who cannot orgasm for various reasons (e.g., not knowing how to self-orgasm since they have not explored their own bodies). Sex to me is something natural, not sinful. Yes, it should be in moderation, but its really not a big deal like they make it out to be, IMO. So yes, I see it as silly, very silly.

You have to keep in mind that you are asking other people which religion is the best one for you, so you are going to get a wide variety of opinions along with criticism.
 
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Smoke

Done here.
Well, as it turns out, that was not to be my final choice. Yesterday I was contemplating things and I decided suddenly that I wanted to stay Catholic. You see, I just recently left the Catholic Church for a more liberal religion. Well, I realize now that I was doing that for sinful reasons. So, I went to Confession and Mass and am now in full communion with the Catholic Church again. :)
How very sad.
 

blackout

Violet.
I am a Christian. Historic and orthodox Christian teaching has always taught that the use of contraception to prevent procreation, masturbation, fornication, adultery, homosexual sex is against God's law.

Yet.....From YOUR OWN original post...

Hi everyone. I have no idea what religion would fit me best and I was hoping you all could help me out. Here is an overview of what I believe:



  • There is no Hell. There is no eternal punishment of anyone because all religions lead to the same place, Heaven/Paradise/whatever.
  • There is, however, consequences for evil behavior (basically murdering someone, depriving them of their basic human rights, abusing animals, etc is what I would call evil behavior). These consequences may either be a lack of rewards in Heaven/Paradise/whatever or it could involve a place where people are cleansed of any "bad karma" that they received through their evil behavior. Or possibly maybe they just won't be as important in the afterlife as those who did the most good.
  • There is one God but he/she is not the kind of God that would demand worship or else you are going to be punished.
  • God manifests his/her truth(s) in all of the various religions. There are many different ways of interpreting the truth.
  • ALL people regardless of race, religion, sex/gender, sexual orientation, political views, national origin, etc are created equal and all deserve the same basic rights.
  • All animals are deserving of basic rights as well. This does not necessarily mean that one should feel obligated to be a vegetarian/vegan. It is okay to eat meat so long as the animal that was slaughtered was slaughtered in as humane and compassionate manner as possible. It would be preferable, for example, that the animals are given a hefty dose of pain killers before they are slaughtered so they feel as little pain as possible.
  • Religious freedom is a must. No religion should be prohibited so long as it does not pose a physical danger to society.
  • Reproductive freedom is a must. Abortion is not a sin or something that will bring you bad karma. There should be absolutely no restrictions on abortions. However, the abortion industry should be regulated more so as to prevent dangerous abortions and unsanitary abortion facilities. Abortion clinics should be required to notify law enforcement personnel if they have reason to believe that the client has been abused in any way. The client should also have the right to protection from any further harm from abusers.
  • Freedom of speech is a must so long as it is not speech that is threatening violence. Hateful speech should be allowed but strongly discouraged as much as possible. We should seek to end such hate speech such as the Fred Phelps type.
  • Freedom to assemble peacefully is a must.
  • Heath care should be free as it is a basic right of all people.
  • Oppressive governments should be opposed with any non-violent means possible. Either that or the least violent alternative should be used if all other methods of changing the government fails.
That is all I can really think of right now. I'll add more if it comes to mind. Thanks!

You clearly DO have an idea of what religion/s fit you best.
but then....things like....
Reproductive freedom is a must? and yet you are anti birth control?
..but STILL pro abortion (choice)?!?:areyoucra
And what (doctrinal) catholic does not believe in hell?

I'm begining to think this is a joke thread.
 
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cynic2005

Member
I'm begining to think this is a joke thread.

I don't think so. I think what may have happened is that she has absorbed a number of belief systems that are contradictory with one another. I myself took an eclectic approach towards religion and it ended up causing inconsistency and confusion and self identity problems.

ZooGirl02,
My final suggestion however, is to not ask people in a forum. They are probably going to add to the confusion. No one can tell you what religion is best for you. They can list religions which might be appropriate. But, ignore the opinions. This is something you have to decide for yourself. You know yourself more than anyone else. Go with what feels right and what fits you. Otherwise, you are just going to get increasingly confused if you let others influence your decision.
 
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Venatoris

Active Member
Hey Zoogirl02,
My advice to you would be to define yourself as agnostic for a while. Cherry pick ideals from various different faiths(most people do this anyway) and see which of them fits you best. Never try to squeeze yourself into the confines of what other people think is correct, you won't fit.
Do you remember this:
519FMPCZ7RL._SL500_AA300_.jpg


You are an Icosahedron(Multifaceted). You may be able to force yourself through one of the holes but it will never be a perfect fit.
 

Smoke

Done here.
Wow. I guess you could say that I am still really confused as far as religion goes. I guess you could say that I am actually kind of torn between Christianity and Islam at this point in time. I have wanted to be a Muslim for a long time but I am always so afraid that my family will forsake me if I convert to Islam. I did convert to Islam once before but quit practicing after my family took issue with me wearing the hijab. I am not sure what to do.
You seem to be attracted to authoritarian religions that are not at all compatible with what you say you believe.

I would suggest that you make no decisions until you have a more coherent idea of what's important to you.
 

ZooGirl02

Well-Known Member
Hey everyone. I know that I can seem very confusing. See, I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder which results in confusion about my own identity. This is how I explain my rapidly changing beliefs. I have just read about so many different religions and such and so many of them seem to make sense in one way or another that I really don't know what to absorb and what not to absorb. But anyway, I am just going to be an Atheist for now. Thank you.
 

Nerthus

Wanderlust
Wow they are rapidly changing beliefs. I read through this thread earlier and you went through almost every religion, to being back in the Catholic Church, to a day later having no belief in God whatsoever. You're the first person I have seen with BPD who changes there mind this much!

I thought I was bad.
 

LuisDantas

Aura of atheification
Premium Member
It is my understanding that BPD leads one to seek external references, so I can see how it may involve seeking religious identity as well.

I hope you find relief for your anxieties, ZooGirl. Out of curiosity, have you heard of Dialetical Behavioral Therapy?
 

cynic2005

Member
Hey everyone. I know that I can seem very confusing. See, I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder which results in confusion about my own identity. This is how I explain my rapidly changing beliefs. I have just read about so many different religions and such and so many of them seem to make sense in one way or another that I really don't know what to absorb and what not to absorb. But anyway, I am just going to be an Atheist for now. Thank you.
Is this a diagnosis that a psychologist/psychiatrist gave you, or is this your self diagnosis? Be careful with self diagnosis.

I am somewhat of a critic of the pathological model.
Borderline Personality Disorder is a highly controversial disorder. Many people do not agree on what it is, it is a stigmatizing label, and it does not help people. You should realize that various disorders in the DSM-IV are arbitrary categories of human behavior, lacking any real substantiation. There are people wanting to eliminate the disorder, and perhaps in the next DSM, there will no longer be BDP, but this disorder might be replaced with Emotional Dysregulative Disorder, or a new system that categorizes personality disorders a bit differently.

The underlying reason why I suggest that you be careful with self diagnosis, is because you must differentiate between behavior that is normal and behavior that is pathological. Even psychologist and psychiatrists have a hard time defining "normal" behavior. The danger in self diagnosis is that you pathologize something about you that is normal. I feel that doing so only results in creating more psychological instability.

The other thing is that labels are powerful. They can become a self fulfilling prophesy. One of the criterias for BDP is a poor self concept as you know. Seeing yourself as having BDP is counter-intuitive, because its makes you see yourself as inherently flawed. It is therefore potentially self-perpetuating, IMO.

If the issue is self concept, then what is going to help fix your self concept, is seeing yourself as normal. Your shifting self concept. This is normal. This is what people go through when they experience a trauma or repeated traumas, so you are reacting just as anyone else would. There is nothing abnormal about you. IMO. The best thing to do is just accept yourself as who you are, unconditionally. Learn to be compassionate and kind towards yourself and see yourself and a normal human being irrespective of others.

"Abornmal" is really just defined by culture and statistical infrequency, etc. There is no real consolidated definition of abnormal in the field of psychology.
 
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ZooGirl02

Well-Known Member
Wow they are rapidly changing beliefs. I read through this thread earlier and you went through almost every religion, to being back in the Catholic Church, to a day later having no belief in God whatsoever. You're the first person I have seen with BPD who changes there mind this much!

I thought I was bad.

Yeah, some of the time I am pretty stable about changing my mind but I do tend to sometimes go through periods where I change my mind a lot.

It is my understanding that BPD leads one to seek external references, so I can see how it may involve seeking religious identity as well.

I hope you find relief for your anxieties, ZooGirl. Out of curiosity, have you heard of Dialetical Behavioral Therapy?

Yeah. I don't know much about the external references part even though I have done some research on Borderline Personality Disorder. And yes, I have heard of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. I am currently in therapy though I am not sure what type of therapy I am in.

Is this a diagnosis that a psychologist/psychiatrist gave you, or is this your self diagnosis? Be careful with self diagnosis.

I am somewhat of a critic of the pathological model.
Borderline Personality Disorder is a highly controversial disorder. Many people do not agree on what it is, it is a stigmatizing label, and it does not help people. You should realize that various disorders in the DSM-IV are arbitrary categories of human behavior, lacking any real substantiation. There are people wanting to eliminate the disorder, and perhaps in the next DSM, there will no longer be BDP, but this disorder might be replaced with Emotional Dysregulative Disorder, or a new system that categorizes personality disorders a bit differently.

The underlying reason why I suggest that you be careful with self diagnosis, is because you must differentiate between behavior that is normal and behavior that is pathological. Even psychologist and psychiatrists have a hard time defining "normal" behavior. The danger in self diagnosis is that you pathologize something about you that is normal. I feel that doing so only results in creating more psychological instability.

The other thing is that labels are powerful. They can become a self fulfilling prophesy. One of the criterias for BDP is a poor self concept as you know. Seeing yourself as having BDP is counter-intuitive, because its makes you see yourself as inherently flawed. It is therefore potentially self-perpetuating, IMO.

If the issue is self concept, then what is going to help fix your self concept, is seeing yourself as normal. Your shifting self concept. This is normal. This is what people go through when they experience a trauma or repeated traumas, so you are reacting just as anyone else would. There is nothing abnormal about you. IMO. The best thing to do is just accept yourself as who you are, unconditionally. Learn to be compassionate and kind towards yourself and see yourself and a normal human being irrespective of others.

"Abornmal" is really just defined by culture and statistical infrequency, etc. There is no real consolidated definition of abnormal in the field of psychology.

Hello and thank you for your advice. I guess you could say that I have a very hard time in viewing myself as normal. I know that I have two mental illnesses: Major Depression and Borderline Personality Disorder. And that affects how I view myself.

And yes, I am currently diagnosed as having both disorders by a board certified psychiatrist. I have actually had this diagnosis since about late 2004 or 2005.

I also know about how the diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder is a controversial one. In fact, when I was regularly going to a Catholic Church, I started seeing a therapist who was associated with an organization called Catholic Charities. I don't know if he was board certified or not. Anyway, he did not believe that Borderline Personality Disorder was an actual disorder. Needless to say, I quit seeing him after one or two visits.

Anyway everyone, I am strongly considering and leaning towards Islam at this point in my life. If I do become a Muslim, I will be a conservative Muslim (not an extremist Muslim but a conservative or traditional Muslim). I would probably be a Sunni Muslim. The only thing that is really holding me back right now is the whole shariah law thing and also I am afraid of how I wold have to deal with my parents and grandparents when they find out a Muslim which they would know that I was one if I were wearing a hijab (Muslim head covering for women). So yeah, those are pretty much the only things holding me back from becoming a Muslim.

I am already pretty much convinced of the truth of Islam but I am having difficulty with believing it. I have also been kind of rebelling against this conviction of mine as you have seen in this thread by my exploring other religions and non-conservative (what I would call unorthodox) beliefs and doctrine. I guess I am kind of resisting my call to be a Muslim. I am just so afraid that it would be very difficult for me as a Muslim especially seeing as how my town is very much a Christian town. Sure, there are plenty of people around here who are not religious or who are tolerant of other religions but the Christians are definitely in the majority here and most of them are pretty conservative. I know that I would likely be looked down upon if I chose to follow Islam.
 

sunsplash

Freckled
Hey ZooGirl...I'm new to your thread and haven't read through every post so forgive me if this is repetitive.

May I ask why you feel the need to jump right into another form of organized religion? I ask because I did the same thing when I left Christianity...it was all I'd ever known and even though I disagreed with a lot of their theology, being apart of a collective group with similar beliefs was the first thing I jumped at. If I wasn't a Christian, what would I be? Muslim? Jewish? Hindu? Pagan? I wanted to fit in somewhere.

It took a long time for me to realize that I don't really fit anywhere, at least not perfectly, and that was a hard pill to swallow. I still am more comfortable with the idea of being "apart" of a group, no one wants to be alone!, but have learned to slow down and not rush it. Take some real time to explore your options because you don't need to jump from one thing to the next. You may want to, but that doesn't mean that's the best option for you either. I don't mean to imply that you aren't taking your spiritual journey seriously, because it is obviously important to you from what I've read, but it is okay to identify yourself as just "spiritual" or a "seeker" until a specific calling feels like home - or even forever if it's right for you.

That's just my $.02 anyway - I see you've changed your religion already and I hope you find peace and happiness in your choice. Just don't force yourself into a religion. When it's the right one, it'll find you.

Good luck!
 

ZooGirl02

Well-Known Member
Hey ZooGirl...I'm new to your thread and haven't read through every post so forgive me if this is repetitive.

May I ask why you feel the need to jump right into another form of organized religion? I ask because I did the same thing when I left Christianity...it was all I'd ever known and even though I disagreed with a lot of their theology, being apart of a collective group with similar beliefs was the first thing I jumped at. If I wasn't a Christian, what would I be? Muslim? Jewish? Hindu? Pagan? I wanted to fit in somewhere.

It took a long time for me to realize that I don't really fit anywhere, at least not perfectly, and that was a hard pill to swallow. I still am more comfortable with the idea of being "apart" of a group, no one wants to be alone!, but have learned to slow down and not rush it. Take some real time to explore your options because you don't need to jump from one thing to the next. You may want to, but that doesn't mean that's the best option for you either. I don't mean to imply that you aren't taking your spiritual journey seriously, because it is obviously important to you from what I've read, but it is okay to identify yourself as just "spiritual" or a "seeker" until a specific calling feels like home - or even forever if it's right for you.

That's just my $.02 anyway - I see you've changed your religion already and I hope you find peace and happiness in your choice. Just don't force yourself into a religion. When it's the right one, it'll find you.

Good luck!

Oh okay. Thanks! I think I will try just calling myself a Seeker from now on. :yes:
 

cynic2005

Member
Hello and thank you for your advice. I guess you could say that I have a very hard time in viewing myself as normal. I know that I have two mental illnesses: Major Depression and Borderline Personality Disorder. And that affects how I view myself.
Of course, because what you do with those labels is pathologize yourself. That is why I dislike the pathological model.

This is the way I see it:

Society is the cause of many psychological issues. You are born in a state of psychological dependency. You depend on parents and society to tell you what to think, how to behave. Society must mold you into something that is functional to society, at the expense of your autonomy, your individuality, and your humanity. In the process of socialization, society teaches you to shame and deny various aspects of oneself.
The cause of shifting is the inability to accept oneself, to see the rejected aspects of self as "bad" or "abnormal" and the accepted aspects as "good" or "normal." You shift identity in order to satisfy those around you, in order to satisfy family, friends, society, those who do not accept you with unconditional positive regard, but only accept who you are on certain conditions. You are identity confused because of the contradictory and inconsistent demands of the various social groups which you try to fulfill, demands which also conflict your own psychological need for autonomy, individuality, acceptance, belonging, and the recognition of your humanity.

The way to freeing oneself is by breaking free of this tyranny, this perpetual cycle of imposing unrealistic standards that causes you to reject yourself. Become a psychologically independent, self empowered individual. Think for yourself. Accept and love yourself without conditions. You have the power to create and mold yourself however you want to, in accordance with your own values and standards. You have the power to create your own religious beliefs. You don't need labels to label yourself with. You are who you are. You are a free, individual human being.
 
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ZooGirl02

Well-Known Member
Of course, because what you do with those labels is pathologize yourself. That is why I dislike the pathological model.

This is the way I see it:

Society is the cause of many psychological issues. You are born in a state of psychological dependency. You depend on parents and society to tell you what to think, how to behave. Society must mold you into something that is functional to society, at the expense of your autonomy, your individuality, and your humanity. In the process of socialization, society teaches you to shame and deny various aspects of oneself.
The cause of shifting is the inability to accept oneself, to see the rejected aspects of self as "bad" or "abnormal" and the accepted aspects as "good" or "normal." You shift identity in order to satisfy those around you, in order to satisfy family, friends, society, those who do not accept you with unconditional positive regard, but only accept who you are on certain conditions. You are identity confused because of the contradictory and inconsistent demands of the various social groups which you try to fulfill, demands which also conflict your own psychological need for autonomy, individuality, acceptance, belonging, and the recognition of your humanity.

The way to freeing oneself is by breaking free of this tyranny, this perpetual cycle of imposing unrealistic standards that causes you to reject yourself. Become a psychologically independent, self empowered individual. Think for yourself. Accept and love yourself without conditions. You have the power to create and mold yourself however you want to, in accordance with your own values and standards. You have the power to create your own religious beliefs. You don't need labels to label yourself with. You are who you are. You are a free, individual human being.

I can see your point. In fact, even my old therapist told me once to not view myself as a person with mental illness because if I do, I will somehow subconsciously try to conform myself to that mental illness's traits.
 
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