@A94 ,
Why do innocent people suffer? Why are they punished, hurt, or killed? How is that the result of an intelligent, all knowing God, who loves everyone and everything, who only wants good things for us, who knows everything including all the pain and suffering that results?
It's is a very difficult question to answer rationally. I asked you whether or not something specific had happened to you or someone close to you because there is no rational answer to these questions that can bring comfort to someone in grief.
I have been lucky that my proximity to tragedy is limited. But a friend of mine in high-school, Stephanie Hummer, was abducted, raped, and murdered at Ohio State University during her freshman year. We weren't close, but my best friends were her best friends. She was in the band; I was in theater. I graduated from a very small high school, so we were all close. Stephanie's boyfriend was the male lead in most of the plays, and I was always hanging out with the band kids.
Just like in the school plays, I was in a supporting role. I was not directly affected by Stephanie's tragedy. But I still felt it from watching my friends lose themselves in anger, grief, and confusion before during and after the funeral.
There is no rational reason for Stephanie's tragedy. Why her? Why so young? Why did she have to suffer? Why did her parents have to experience burying their child? These questions have no rational answers.
Immediately after the funeral, my friend Eric was deeply affected. Eric was special because ( I was told ) he was not expected to live very long after he was born. I don't know the specifics. We never talked about it. The evidence of surgeries was visible on him, and he had ( has? ) trouble walking and running. But he was really funny and fun to hang out with. We were in and musicals together. He was in the band with Stephanie; they graduated the same year.
Immediately after the funeral. Eric called out, "Why?" And he repeated it over and over again. I was the first to reach out to him. We made a circle, all of us, arm and arm with Eric as he called out "Why?" to whomever or whatever was listening.
I don't remember how long we stood there in the circle. I think someone else took Eric and walked him away from the burial site.
As you continue on your path, you will likely have to experience tragedy. I hope that your experience will be in a supporting role. But if something happens to you or yours, as a Believer in Christ, it's likely people will come to with questions, seeking comfort, or even looking for an outlet for their natural anger with God. because of this, it's helpful to prepare yourself in advance for these circumstances.
This is why I asked about your situation before going too deep with my replies. If / when someone asks u "Why does God who is all love allow innocents to suffer?", I encourage you to pause, and reflect on the question. Don't answer too quickly. Sometimes, given a few moments of space and silence, the person will share a personal experience that gives context to their questions. Let the person asking the question lead the conversation. At first it's best to listen more and talk less.
If the person doesn't share anything and there's an awkward silence, this is usually good. It probably means the question is more academic and less personal. My approach, though, is to always assume it's personal until you learn otherwise.
After a few beats of silence, I start to ask questions. I usually start with, " Did something bad happen?" Or "Are you OK?"
If it turns out the question is emotional and not academic, I never answer the question, "Why?" The only accurate honest answer anyone can offer is, "I don't know".
But if the question is intellectual, not personal, or emotional, then it's probably safe to try to answer. I think it's best to answer the questions using "I" statements. "I think..." "I feel..." "I believe..." This prevents the conversation from becoming preachy. If towards the end of the conversation, the person you're talking to seems to appreciate what you are saying, that's the time to make a statement about God and / or Christ. Keep it short, simple, and broad. Things like, "God has a plan, even if we can't see it." "You can find comfort in Christ, but often, this takes time."
After the conversation has shifted from "I" statements to a statement encouraging a belief in God and Christ, I think that's a good place to stop. Don't rush it. Let your words sink in. If the person is feeling it, and wants to learn more, they will come to you another time and ask more questions.
If in the moment, the person is insistent, and keeps asking questions, I recommend repeating / restating the previous single statement you made about God and / or Christ. If you made it this far, and the person does not seem frustrated and wants to learn more, consider the conversation a great success and feel happy. You did great.
If the person doesn't take the hint, or starts pressing you for more answers, change the subject, re-direct, or somehow look for a graceful exit from the conversation.
