"I Heard You Mormons...."

[Quiddity]

Victor! Hi!!!!! It's been so long since I've seen you. I was just thinking about you the other day. How have you and Evelyn been anyway?

Great! It's good to still see you around...:hug:

 

[fantome profane]

Do they have Starbucks in Utah? I am just curious.

 

[Quiddity]

Do they have Starbucks in Utah? I am just curious.

Yes, but they only sell to intelligent atheist. There is a huge market for that since it's rare to find one that doesn't think he is smart...

 

[Katzpur]

Do they have Starbucks in Utah? I am just curious.

All over the place.

 

[DarkMaster24]

My friend who lives in Utah sometimes has a hard time finding places that sell energy drinks that contain caffine, and coffee.

 

[Katzpur]

My friend who lives in Utah sometimes has a hard time finding places that sell energy drinks that contain caffine, and coffee.

Wow. Your friend must be looking in some pretty strange places. I've never been in a grocery store or convenience story in Utah where you couldn't buy a caffeinated drink. Where's he been looking anyway? Home Depot? The Gap? Comp USA?

 

[challupa]

Wow. Your friend must be looking in some pretty strange places. I've never been in a grocery store or convenience story in Utah where you couldn't buy a caffeinated drink. Where's he been looking anyway? Home Depot? The Gap? Comp USA?

I have to agree with that. Any time I have been through Utah I never had a problem finding any of that stuff.

 

[zomg]

My friend who lives in Utah sometimes has a hard time finding places that sell energy drinks that contain caffine, and coffee.

I don't know where your friend shops because almost every store I have been to has those drinks....and ALCOHOL

 

[Watchmen]

Noooo!!!!!!!

 

[J Bryson]

I hear Mormon kids play marbles, roll hoops down the sidewalk, and whitewash fences whenever they can't trick their friends into doing so for them.

 

[SoyLeche]

My future daughter-in-law is not even from Utah. I guess the fact that she is engaged to a young man who was raised in Utah in an LDS family could be the only logical explanation. Now it seems as if Mormonism is contagious. Maybe you would also like to share your insights on why both my son and his fiancee do drink alcohol. How does your convoluted logic explain that?

And, working under the assumption that your future DIL didn't always know your son, and the she didn't like coffee at one point and then suddenly stop likeing it - Mormonism is contagious RETROACTIVELY!!!!!

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

And, working under the assumption that your future DIL didn't always know your son, and the she didn't like coffee at one point and then suddenly stop likeing it - Mormonism is contagious RETROACTIVELY!!!!!

Speaking of which, I heard that every Mormon temple has a functioning TARDIS and that's the REAL reason why they don't let non-Mormons in.

 

[SoyLeche]

Speaking of which, I heard that every Mormon temple has a functioning TARDIS and that's the REAL reason why they don't let non-Mormons in.

You're right. You'd be amazed at how big they are inside

 

[RemnanteK]

No matter how big a temple on earth is, the one in my heart is bigger.

 

[herushura]

worship a version of Jesus who captains a starship Galactica, along with his twin brother Lucifer."
Lucifer is just the morning star venus, he is meaningless and harmless, star wars dont mix well with jesus

"...can't eat food that's been cooked on Teflon."
People dont eat teflon

"...think non-whites who accept Christ will turn white."
jesus is brown, sun factor thing

"...can't drive cars. (i.e. If I join your church, do I have to sell my car and ride a bike everywhere?)"
You need a driving license

"...have horns (or tails)."
a tail is just an extenstion of the spine, infact human have a little tail,

"...think that only Americans will go to heaven."
America is a colonalized Land, nothing special

"...think black people are devils."
devils are Red not black

"...have to stay away from the ocean."
Learn to swim then

 

[Humanistheart]

"...worship a version of Jesus who captains a starship Galactica, along with his twin brother Lucifer."

"...can't eat food that's been cooked on Teflon."

"...think non-whites who accept Christ will turn white."

"...can't drive cars. (i.e. If I join your church, do I have to sell my car and ride a bike everywhere?)"

"...have horns (or tails)."

"...think that only Americans will go to heaven."

"...think black people are devils."

"...have to stay away from the ocean."

I've heard all these. How about all of you? Care to add to the list? This thread isn't for resolving these ideas, only collecting them. It's supposed to be funny, if perhaps a little sad. Anyway, anyone care to add to my collection?

Wait, almost forgot one because it didn't fit the format:

"I heard Joseph Smith made a prophecy about tree-men walking around on the sun."

While I'm not mormon, well not anymore, the ignorant rumors that always bothered me is the belief you wear "magic" underwear and that you think you'll turn into god's after you die, lol.

 

[Sententia]

Wow. Your friend must be looking in some pretty strange places. I've never been in a grocery store or convenience story in Utah where you couldn't buy a caffeinated drink. Where's he been looking anyway? Home Depot? The Gap? Comp USA?

Odd...

Home depots in CT typically have a dunkin donuts inside.

The gap? Its a clothing store...

Comp USA is out of business?

Ok... so how old is this post I am responding too?

What is wrong with caffeinated beverages? Do mormons allow nutmeg?

 

[zomg]

What is wrong with caffeinated beverages? Do mormons allow nutmeg?

Nothing.
Some people think no tea/coffee = no caffeine because that must be what makes those drinks "bad"

I was raised to avoid drinking caffeinated soft drinks :faint: