I just feel if God really does exist, his existence, if it is that important to us, it should be a lot more intuitive than it is. Couldn't he have created evidence of his existence much much clearer than it is if he/she/it exists? Evidence as clear to us as the existence of the moon. He would not punish us for doubting the existence of the moon so why should he punish us for an entity which is far more obscure?
Her is a poem from Kabir, that may help you.
Are you looking for me?
I am in the next seat.
My shoulder is against yours.
you will not find me in the stupas,
not in Indian shrine rooms,
nor in synagogues,
nor in cathedrals:
not in masses,
nor kirtans,
not in legs winding around your own neck,
nor in eating nothing but vegetables.
When you really look for me,
you will see me instantly
you will find me in the tiniest house of time.
Kabir says: Student, tell me, what is God?
He is the breath inside the breath.
― Kabir