If homosexuality is a choice, why can't I choose to be attracted to men?

[dust1n]

If the conditioning was completely gone you'd have no problem having an attraction to men.

I don't get what you are saying.. homosexuality has basically not been conditioned on anyone at all... why are they homosexuals, and why do they have such a difficult time finding the opposite sex attractive?

You may have outwardly thrown it off, but I can see that you have a lot of inner conflict going on.

Not really, at least, not pertaining to the subject.

Think of it as someone who has been an atheist for years, but once in a while catches themselves praying.

Haven't prayed since my I was fundamentally Christian; not as an agnostic, not as an atheist.

They know they don't want to follow religion anymore, but have been conditioned to since childhood.

Correct.. thus I shed off all the conditioning.

I would suggest that you go for a drastic change of environment for a while, get out of your local area and go wild for a week or two in a different environment.

Ok...

It'll take away the nervous/insecure edge around you, since you never have to go back there or see anyone there again if you don't choose to, and give you the opportunity to explore freely without judgement from those around you. It's the best way to figure out if you really want this.

It obviously is no longer a matter if I really want this, according to you; I can be attracted to men whether I want to or not by shedding all my conditioning away.

 

[dust1n]

Both articles specifically say they are theories, in other words, they are opinions just like mine.

No... there is a huge difference between theory and opinion.

Homosexuality in animals can't be used as an argument for genetics, seeing as we don't know what animals are actually thinking. We only know that humans and animals have a sex drive in common. We don't know whether or not those animals are making a concious choice to engage in homosexual activity. You can't criticize me for not giving you facts if you're going to turn around and give me opinions at the same time. I'll look for a study that supports my stance and post it shortly though.

Even if I have somehow forced myself to be sexually attractive to men (which would be obviously against my nature), I would still be sexually attracted to women. That is something that can't be shred away. If it was not part of our nature to attracted to the opposite sex, we as a species, would not have made it this far.



"The work was carried out by Dr Niklas Langstrom and colleagues at the Karolinska Institute in Sweden and the studies were of all adult (20-47 years old) twins in Sweden. Many genetic studies use identical and non-identical twins to tease out genetic and environmental influences. Identical twins share the same genes and environment and non-identical twins share half their genes and all their environment.

If there is a greater similarity in trait between identical twins compared to non-identical twins, genetic factors are deemed largely to be responsible. So if scientists observe that same-sex behaviour is more common amongst identical twins, then there must be genetic factors at work.

In this research the scientists asked all participants (same-gender twin pairs) about their sexual orientation and amount of same sex and opposite sex partners they had slept with.


They found that genetics accounted for about 35 per cent of the differences between men in homosexual behaviour and non-shared environmental factors about 64 percent.



In homosexual women, 18 per cent of the variation in same-sex behaviour was accounted for by genetics, non-shared environment 64 percent and shared environment about 16 per cent."


Is Homosexuality Genetic? The Search for Possible Genetic Causes of Homosexuality

 

[Kov03]

LOL.. okay, okay seriously.. ANYONE WHO THINKS HOMOSEXUALITY IS A CHOICE:

Why can't I be gay?

try acting out. Try it and see if you like it. Gays had to try it first

I don't think you guys understand. I am in love with a man; but I can't feel sexually attracted to him! Why can't I make myself sexually attracted to men? (Or goats, for that matter.)

you haven't hit a man yet. Or the goat How do you know

I've tried. I have made out with guys. It doesn't physically disgust me; but it does nothing for me. I can't make myself become aroused without thinking of women.

a little hard to believe. Men tend to get aroused when the wind changes direction. You do not have a big sex drive and/or please see a doctor

 

[no-body]

try acting out. Try it and see if you like it. Gays had to try it first

You don't know what you are talking about. I am bi-sexual, I like both men and women thought I have never been and probably never will be with a man. How did I know? How does a teenage boy know he likes girls? It just happens. Now I've never been with an animal, and I just know that even attempting to try it would disgust me. If you think otherwise, the problem is with you, not homosexuals.

you haven't hit a man yet. Or the goat How do you know

a little hard to believe. Men tend to get aroused when the wind changes direction. You do not have a big sex drive and/or please see a doctor

Honestly I think this kind of thinking comes from wanting to dehumanize gay people so as not to have empathy for them. Either because you are afraid of your own homosexual feelings or because you want "permission" to hate others or more likely both.

 

[Kov03]

You don't know what you are talking about. I am bi-sexual, I like both men and women thought I have never been and probably never will be with a man. How did I know? How does a teenage boy know he likes girls? It just happens. Now I've never been with an animal, and I just know that even attempting to try it would disgust me. If you think otherwise, the problem is with you, not homosexuals.

Honestly I think this kind of thinking comes from wanting to dehumanize gay people so as not to have empathy for them. Either because you are afraid of your own homosexual feelings or because you want "permission" to hate others or more likely both.

Honestly I do not know what you talking about
I simply said you cannot know if you like something until you try it.
That goes for anybody that ever had sexual intercourse with anybody

 

[no-body]

Honestly I do not know what you talking about
I simply said you cannot know if you like something until you try it.
That goes for anybody that ever had sexual intercourse with anybody

Maybe I'd enjoy it if someone shoved a giant nail into my eyeball. It might be the best feeling in the world, who knows really until I try right?

 

[Kov03]

Maybe I'd enjoy it if someone shoved a giant nail into my eyeball. It might be the best feeling in the world, who knows really until I try right?

thats dumb
lets try common sense

 

[AxisMundi]

It is not easy and may not be work for your current relation but if you wished to work at it you could.

I personally believe homosexuality to be natural and a choice; however all my natural feelings I can overpower. The brain is very powerful and can even modify a beating heart so changing who you love is not outside its realm.

Overpowering natural emotions is a long tedious path so you would need to be sure because once going down the path you don't want to waste all that time and find you chose wrong.

There is a plethora of horror stories involving the "ex-gay ministries".

Those men "choose" to live a lie, and live in loveless, even hateful relationships with women they cannot feel attracted to sexually.

They suffer, their wives suffer, any children brought into the mix certainly suffer.

Why should one "choose" to live against one's very nature?

 

[Rainbow Mage]

I have busted up some of those so-called "ex-gay" groups before, LOL. I like to say I'm a member of the gay liberation movement, that is, I encourage closet cases to come out. I went to one of their meetings and asked them if why they are cured, are they still attracted to other dudes? Then they made me leave, but a bunch of the guys there left with me and said they understood my point, that they weren't cured, and were going to be proud of who they are from then on

 

[AxisMundi]

I have busted up some of those so-called "ex-gay" groups before, LOL. I like to say I'm a member of the gay liberation movement, that is, I encourage closet cases to come out. I went to one of their meetings and asked them if why they are cured, are they still attracted to other dudes? Then they made me leave, but a bunch of the guys there left with me and said they understood my point, that they weren't cured, and were going to be proud of who they are from then on

It's amazing how many foudners of ex-gay ministries ended up as outed as haggert.

Is it some inherent guilt that makes these men speak out agaisnt gays?

Or perhaps attempting to shroud their own so-called "sin"?

Truth Wins Out - History Of The Ex-Gay Ministries

 

[joea]

I don't think you guys understand. I am in love with a man; but I can't feel sexually attracted to him! Why can't I make myself sexually attracted to men? (Or goats, for that matter.)

Is it possible men is not for you ?...maybe the other option ? ( I say it in a nice way )

 

[dust1n]

try acting out. Try it and see if you like it. Gays had to try it first

What's the threshold. When do I learn? First base? Second base?...

you haven't hit a man yet. Or the goat How do you know

Of if anyone is the man, it was him.

a little hard to believe. Men tend to get aroused when the wind changes direction. You do not have a big sex drive and/or please see a doctor

LOL. Well somehow I can walk through Chicago without getting an erection. My sex drive when in a monogamous relationship is actually higher than I think is best for at times, but outside of a loving I can't get it. I loved the man. Not sexually attracted.

 

[dust1n]

Is it possible men is not for you ?...maybe the other option ? ( I say it in a nice way )

LOL, I think that is possible. But that wouldn't necessarily be my choice..

 

[Kov03]

What's the threshold. When do I learn? First base? Second base?....

Second and third base will certainly bring it to run. Any assertion that you will not be aroused by the touch and/or foreplay I would assume you're outright lying.

LOL. Well somehow I can walk through Chicago without getting an erection. My sex drive when in a monogamous relationship is actually higher than I think is best for at times, but outside of a loving I can't get it. I loved the man. Not sexually attracted.

Glad you got the joke.

 

[no-body]

thats dumb
lets try common sense

I agree, let's use some common sense. I don't need to sleep with my Mother or Father to know it would scar me horribly for the rest of my life. But who knows it might feel good right?

 

[Draka]

Second and third base will certainly bring it to run. Any assertion that you will not be aroused by the touch and/or foreplay I would assume you're outright lying.

If you simply aren't attracted to someone, no amount of touching and/or foreplay will make you "in the mood". Desire has to be there somewhere. If you're relying on simply forced biological reactions...then that would mean that rape victims in some way "want it" just because their body will sometimes lube during being manipulated, or become erect when they don't want to. There's a difference between forced sexual response and actual attraction-based sexual arousal. If it is a forced response then I highly doubt that it is going to be enjoyable...because it's not like they even want it. What Dust1n wants is the natural attraction...not just to force oneself. This makes the point that orientation and sexuality cannot be forced. The attraction cannot be forced. Sexual response may be able to be forced...but desire isn't.

 

[Jeremiah]

try acting out. Try it and see if you like it. Gays had to try it first

you haven't hit a man yet. Or the goat How do you know

a little hard to believe. Men tend to get aroused when the wind changes direction. You do not have a big sex drive and/or please see a doctor

"Gays had to try it first"

I didn't have to try to find out I was sexuality attracted to men, I tried because I am and was sexuality attracted to men. That's right, I was aware of my attraction before I ever had any sexual interactions with other males.

 

[Draka]

"Gays had to try it first"

I didn't have to try to find out I was sexuality attracted to man, I tried because I am and was sexuality attracted to man. That's right, I was aware of my attraction before I ever had any sexual interactions with other males.

I know, isn't that one of the most ridiculous things? Like sexuality is like Mikey from the old Life cereal commercials. I don't recall having to force myself to try having sex with a man in order to know I was attracted to men. If one has to force themselves to "try" something, chances are...it's not for them in the first dang place...and there may be a reason for that...like...I don't know...maybe their sexuality isn't a forced thing but an ingrained part of their nature?

 

[Kov03]

If you simply aren't attracted to someone, no amount of touching and/or foreplay will make you "in the mood". Desire has to be there somewhere. If you're relying on simply forced biological reactions...then that would mean that rape victims in some way "want it" just because their body will sometimes lube during being manipulated, or become erect when they don't want to. There's a difference between forced sexual response and actual attraction-based sexual arousal. If it is a forced response then I highly doubt that it is going to be enjoyable...because it's not like they even want it. What tumbleweed wants is the natural attraction...not just to force oneself. This makes the point that orientation and sexuality cannot be forced. The attraction cannot be forced. Sexual response may be able to be forced...but desire isn't.

It is dust1n that I was responding to. He stated he loves the guy and there WAS a desire to try..
Under those circumstances I found it hard to believe he would not be aroused.
Just my personal experience of any contact and desire he said he had and if I had there would be a arousal

"Gays had to try it first"

I didn't have to try to find out I was sexuality attracted to men, I tried because I am and was sexuality attracted to men. That's right, I was aware of my attraction before I ever had any sexual interactions with other males.

Heterosexuals have to try it first to confirm they like sex.
Many people are attracted but find later they do not enjoy sex with anybody.
There has to be a confirmation that your attractions or feelings are correct.

 

[Draka]

It is dust1n that I was responding to. He stated he loves the guy and there WAS a desire to try..
Under those circumstances I found it hard to believe he would not be aroused.
Just my personal experience of any contact and desire he said he had and if I had there would be a arousal

I meant Dust1n, I think I just saw tumbleweed's name recently and typed it instead. The rest of my post holds exactly true though. and there may have been a desire to be attracted in that way...but the actual attraction and desire in that form was not there and could not be forced.

Heterosexuals have to try it first to confirm they like sex.
Many people are attracted but find later they do not enjoy sex with anybody.
There has to be a confirmation that your attractions or feelings are correct.

Oh that's bull. You don't have to try to have sex first to "confirm" you are heterosexual. Even if a person doesn't enjoy sex it doesn't change their orientation. Orientation has nothing to do with whether or not someone enjoys sex as a whole. It has to do with whom you are naturally attracted to on a personal level, not just sexual. Sex is a part of it, yes, but it's so much more than just that. Parts of a whole. You may love someone, but without the attraction it isn't going to happen. And with some people, the physical attraction may naturally be there, but they need more to the relationship in order to "perform". Sexuality is a complex issue. It cannot be summed up with a Yo Gabba Gabba sing-song of "Try it! You'll like it!"