If you can read this in your native English-speaking tongue, you may be fat...

[ChristineES]

exactly!

Sorry. I just can't agree. As Renji said, there have been studies that say that positive reinforcements work much better. As I said in my last post, people who are big know they are big and they already know the health risks. You may be well meaning, but most of the time, it will backfire.

 

[Me Myself]

Sorry. I just can't agree. As Renji said, there have been studies that say that positive reinforcements work much better. As I said in my last post, people who are big know they are big and they already know the health risks. You may be well meaning, but most of the time, it will backfire.

Most fat friends I have told me it was when they were put in their face with their reality in the "bad" way that they got the willpower to do something about it.

I help them with good motivation when theya re already DOING something actively to pursue health. THEN it helps. When they feel bad about their body, remembering it will go away and that they should focus on the picture of health they will be is what is helpfull. But that is then.

Positive reinforcement doesnt work if they dont care.

 

[Draka]

I am actually to start a program called p90x on the 1st of the month that comes so I wouldnt be following any diet the page would make for me until at least after the month, but then I would hope I will only need to maintain, not keep losing

It doesn't make a diet for you. You can set what you want in it. It works well as a diary or journal really. Where you log your food, exercise, notes, talk on the forums, and track your measurements, weightloss, and so on. It's just a place to keep everything together. But if you don't want to use it that's okay. Just thought you might find it interesting.

 

[Renji]

Most fat friends I have told me it was when they were put in their face with their reality in the "bad" way that they got the willpower to do something about it.

It doesn't mean that if something applies/works to your friends that it is also appropriate/effective to the majority.

 

[ChristineES]

Most fat friends I have told me it was when they were put in their face with their reality in the "bad" way that they got the willpower to do something about it.

I help them with good motivation when theya re already DOING something actively to pursue health. THEN it helps. When they feel bad about their body, remembering it will go away and that they should focus on the picture of health they will be is what is helpfull. But that is then.

Positive reinforcement doesnt work if they dont care.

Positive or negative reinforcements both don't work if the person doesn't care. They have to find it out for themselves. All the information is out there. When they care, they will be able to find it.
EDIT: It is impossible to help anyone if they just don't care.

 

[Draka]

It may work with some people, it may be the only thing that will work with some people. But back when I was big, I knew I was big-- I knew I needed to lose weight. I was pretty embarrassed to be that big. I got that big because I gained too much weight with pregnancy and because of anti-depressants. I didn't need some slender so and so telling me "Hey, you're fat, Lady!" When I lost weight, I made the decision myself. That's the only person who can motivate each person: That person alone.

The some people I refer to are those who wallow in complete denial. The ones who absolutely refuse to see or admit that there even is a problem. There is a world of difference between someone who knows they have a problem and wants to change and at least has a desire to if not the knowledge of how to start, and the person who adamantly refuses to acknowledge that they even have a problem. The latter being the ones who need a good wake up mirror smack.

 

[ChristineES]

I would like to ask we stop overtaking the thread, which is about BMI and how to lower it.

 

[Renji]

Positive or negative reinforcements both don't work if the person doesn't care. They have to find it out for themselves. All the information is out there. When they care, they will be able to find it.
EDIT: It is impossible to help anyone if they just don't care.

That's the other point and I agree with it. It's just that negative feedbacks are non therapeutic.

 

[Me Myself]

Positive or negative reinforcements both don't work if the person doesn't care. They have to find it out for themselves. All the information is out there. When they care, they will be able to find it.
EDIT: It is impossible to help anyone if they just don't care.

But they are most likely to care if instead of you telling them "You know, you could be even sexier if you were thiner!" you just tell them "you know you are fat and yould get far better wo/men if you werent? Lets be serious, would you like your mate to have your same belly width? didnt think so."

If they are "BAD" they will care. If they "can be better" they will prefer their McDonalds trippled.

So if they are bad, tell it how it is.

 

[ChristineES]

The some people I refer to are those who wallow in complete denial. The ones who absolutely refuse to see or admit that there even is a problem. There is a world of difference between someone who knows they have a problem and wants to change and at least has a desire to if not the knowledge of how to start, and the person who adamantly refuses to acknowledge that they even have a problem. The latter being the ones who need a good wake up mirror smack.

Well, the fact is that if you care enough about someone to be blunt with them, they will be a close friend or a family member-- so I would say that you know what will work or not work when it comes to "opening their eyes". I doubt you would be blunt with some person you don't know or only kind of know, so we're really not on a entirely different page.

 

[Draka]

I would like to ask we stop overtaking the thread, which is about BMI and how to lower it.

Well, along those lines then, may I just say, I have no idea what my BMI is, nor do I care (though I'm sure it places me as overweight - whoopty doo), and I don't care if I lower it.

 

[ChristineES]

Well, along those lines then, may I just say, I have no idea what my BMI is, nor do I care (though I'm sure it places me as overweight - whoopty doo), and I don't care if I lower it.

Heck, I did care. My BMI pre-speed walking was downright embarrassing. When I lost weight, I had more energy, my clothes "grew"(they didn't really grow, LOL), people kept telling me how much better I looked, and so on. Maybe it was because I cared that bluntness would have hurt me. Who can say.

 

[Renji]

The some people I refer to are those who wallow in complete denial. The ones who absolutely refuse to see or admit that there even is a problem. There is a world of difference between someone who knows they have a problem and wants to change and at least has a desire to if not the knowledge of how to start, and the person who adamantly refuses to acknowledge that they even have a problem. The latter being the ones who need a good wake up mirror smack.

Ironically some people that I know (especially my patients) who are overweight or obese know already that they're like that. And I think that we don't have to rub that into their faces. Imagine, if you're "so fat" and I tell you "Hey, you look like a pig. You're so fat that you'll not be able to pass freely on that door." I'm just saying that to wake them up, directing them to a specific goal without harming them emotionally or something like that is better. Boy, I don't have a problem like this and yet I'm reacting this way.

 

[Draka]

Heck, I did care. My BMI pre-speed walking was downright embarrassing. When I lost weight, I had more energy, my clothes "shrunk"(they didn't really shrink, LOL), people kept telling me how much better I looked, and so on. Maybe it was because I cared that bluntness would have hurt me. Who can say.

See, the number I go by is body fat percentage. I've gone from a truly embarrassing 50% to a current 27% in about a year and I'm still working on lowering it further. I'd like to get around 22% or so ideally. Whether I'm 140, 135, or even 150 at the time doesn't matter to me because I'd know I was lean and strong and healthy.

What I do know is I'm not about to stress myself out trying to attain some "desirable" weight on a chart just because. Do you know how much I'm suppose to weigh according to my height and frame? 110-119lbs. Yeah right. I don't think so, and I'm not about to break myself trying to get to that boniness either.

 

[Me Myself]

It doesn't make a diet for you. You can set what you want in it. It works well as a diary or journal really. Where you log your food, exercise, notes, talk on the forums, and track your measurements, weightloss, and so on. It's just a place to keep everything together. But if you don't want to use it that's okay. Just thought you might find it interesting.

Can I change the things I put on the "second step" after subscribing I guess? I cannot know very accurately some information there right now.

 

[Kathryn]

It says english first languagers are more prone to be fat than other people, and I think it said by some subtexts that we need to stop calling a fat person to be "Oh, just a little bit chubby, how nice solid weight you ve gained! Oh so you have thick bones? thats so healthy!"

Bull.

Sure, BMI sucks, I am just sayng if yu look at a fat person his biggest problem is pposible death at very early age. Sorry if I wont be feeling my conscience when I tell anyone "Dude, you are fat. Fix it or die young"

Denial is exactly one of the reasons the problem gets that BIG that fast. Then they teach it to their children

Do you honestly think it's necessary for you to point out to someone that they are fat? You think they haven't noticed it - or have been living in some strange place where they have somehow missed the message that being overweight is unhealthy?

Several years ago, I had a health issue that contributed to a significant weight gain (the condition has been cured and the weight lost by the way). Anyway, my mother is naturally tall and very thin - and a bit glamorous. When she would see me, she would often say, "Oh my - you HAVE put on some weight!" or "Honey, what are you going to do about this weight gain?"

One day I burst into tears, which surprised her very much. I told her she was hurting my feelings continually with this talk about my weight (at the time we didn't know that the cause was largely medical). Defensively, and as she stood there in her slim black jeans, tucked in shirt and smashing belt, she said, "Well, I am just being HONEST out of concern for my daughter!"

I told her, "MOM! Do you honestly think I haven't noticed that I am fat? Do you think I don't know that obesity is a health concern? Trust me - you don't need to point this out to me."

To her credit, she never mentioned my weight again - other than to congratulate me when I finally lost it.

Once I had a gigantic zit on my face. My brother came in and said, "Dang, what's that on your face?"

Innocently I looked at him and said, "What are you talking about?"

"That ZIT."

"Oh, so you know what it is. I take it you just felt the need to point it out. Feel better now?"

 

[Kathryn]

Can I change the things I put on the "second step" after subscribing I guess? I cannot know very accurately some information there right now.

The program is very flexible - I love it!

 

[Draka]

Can I change the things I put on the "second step" after subscribing I guess? I cannot know very accurately some information there right now.

You can adjust everything in your profile and setting anytime you like. Well, with the exception of your name I think . But yeah, if you mean your goals and such, they're all adjustable. Just play around there for a while and you'll get the hang of it. There's a mobile app that's fantastic too

 

[ChristineES]

See, the number I go by is body fat percentage. I've gone from a truly embarrassing 50% to a current 27% in about a year and I'm still working on lowering it further. I'd like to get around 22% or so ideally. Whether I'm 140, 135, or even 150 at the time doesn't matter to me because I'd know I was lean and strong and healthy.

What I do know is I'm not about to stress myself out trying to attain some "desirable" weight on a chart just because. Do you know how much I'm suppose to weigh according to my height and frame? 110-119lbs. Yeah right. I don't think so, and I'm not about to break myself trying to get to that boniness either.

I was 42% body fat when I started speed walking and I was about 31% within about 4 months. I've lost more since then. I was told when I was in the Navy that 30% or lower was ideal for women, but in my exercise class I was told 22% was actually ideal.

 

[Draka]

I was 42% body fat when I started speed walking and I was about 31% within about 4 months. I've lost more since then. I was told when I was in the Navy that 30% or lower was ideal for women, but in my exercise class I was told 22% was actually ideal.

When I was in, I averaged around 164lbs most the time but was usually 21 to 23% body fat. In other words, quite muscular. I weighed more then than I do now, but I am in no way as muscular now as I was then. I have a lot of work to do.