Is God or Jesus not good-enough or intriguing enough for you? What does the darkness have to do with the light, how can it stand before the light, it will be obliterated.
Am I proselytizing? If so, I am concerned.
I realize you're directing your questions to another person, but I would like to chime in and say no, God or Jesus aren't good enough or intriguing enough for me anymore. As a matter of fact, I wasted thirty-one years of my life struggling to reconcile my belief in a loving heavenly father with my reality of suffering severe abuse while I was growing up. Despite my frantic childhood prayers to this "heavenly father" to save me, I still suffered relentless abuse, neglect, and bullying throughout my childhood and adolescence.
As a teenager, I was still clinging to my belief in a loving, merciful God, despite the fact that I couldn't reconcile that belief with the abuse I suffered, but I began to think about the rest of the world during this time. I thought about the reality of a world assiduously rampant with death, disease, natural disasters, cold-blooded murder, rape, poverty, starvation, pestilence, sexual deviance, and corruption. As an adult, I added the Holocaust and pedophiles to my list, and it included Catholic priests. These pedophile priests have been allowed to get away with raping and molesting children for hundreds of years, and this sickness has been covered up by the Catholic Church for hundreds of years. Sexual abuse, physical abuse, psychological abuse and spiritual abuse is rampant in the Christian Church, and yet many Christians judge unbelievers for their sins. Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.
I want to be perfectly clear about my objective for writing what I've shared thus far in my post. DNB, I want to make sure you know that I'm not attempting to attack you and call you out. My post isn't intended as a personal attack against you. I'm replying to your post because I want to share my story and explain why I've rejected God in my life, and why I'm not a Christian anymore.
I've been in a "spiritual limbo" for more than a year, and I'm unable to decide if I believe that God exists or not. If God doesn't exist, then evolution is true, humanity has always been alone in the universe, and terrible things happen that I can't explain. If the God depicted in the Bible does exist, then I can only see him as a
sadistic barbaric tyrannical monster, and I reject any notion that he is a loving, merciful heavenly father. I don't have this contemptuous thought about God without reason, either. I've explained one of my reasons by sharing my horrific past of abuse. Furthermore, I've also explained my other reasons, as well. If you'd like to know what these reasons are, then you can find out by
clicking here and reading one of my previous posts on the subject.
Isaiah 45:7 (KJV)
"I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the Lord do all these things."
Isaiah 45:7 (NIV)
"I form the light and create darkness, I bring prosperity and create disaster; I, the Lord, do all these things."