I'm terrified for tomorrow.

[Saint Frankenstein]

The landlord is supposed to get the sheriff to put me out tomorrow. I spent the night in the ER after threatening suicide throughout the day yesterday and some people called the cops on me for it. Appreciate the gesture, but no solutions there. I don't know if I should call the landlord and beg him not to do it or what. I doubt that would work because I tried that yesterday. My anxiety and fear is through the charts. Of course, there's no one there for me right now. I emailed my sister and a friend and no response from either of them. Can't get ahold of my caseworker. I don't really want to die, but it's a scream for help. I would rather be dead than to be out on the streets and literally lose everything - all of my belongings and all of my pets (especially my beloved dog). My belongings would just be thrown in a heap in the backyard while I...what? Watch in shock? Scream and cry?

I don't know. I don't know anything anymore. I would also rather be dead than to be in a homeless shelter. I can't be around a bunch of people who are more unhinged than me, who are criminals and with no privacy. It's bad enough in the psychiatric section of the ER. I felt unsafe just this morning in the ER, being around criminals and perverts. It seems that society would also rather that people like me be dead, too, judging from the abysmal state of our mental healthcare system. My own sister doesn't even offer to let me stay with her. Am I that worthless? Well, people have a funny way of making me feel that way.

I don't know where I'm going with this, why I bothered to type it or what I'm trying to say. Everything's just falling apart for me.

 

[Nyingjé Tso]

Vanakkam

This is the very moment I had wished to be in the same country as you... I would have offered you to come asap...

Is there any RF member around Saint's city or anything that could go see him ? Or help him find a place to stay, please ?

Saint, hang in there. You're not alone

 

[YmirGF]

I am so sorry that I'm too tied up right now to offer any help, Frankie. The only solution I can see is be cool and be calm. CALL YOUR LANDLORD and see if something can be worked out.

 

[Demonslayer]

The going is tough Frankie, very tough. Don't give up. What the hell is wrong with your sister? Family should never give up on family. That's just not right.

 

[Sutekh]

Do you have any friends at least that could perhaps let you stay? Or do you know anyone that you know very well that can perhaps invite you over?

 

[BSM1]

Sorry you're going through this. Have you tried your church?

 

[Demonslayer]

How about a church? I'm no fan of religion, but some churches take people in.

You just need a temporary way station to get you through to the next stage of life. One day you'll look back on this and have a story to tell.

Find that way station and give yourself time to think.

 

[Demonslayer]

Sorry you're going through this. Have you tried your church?

Just beat me to it!

 

[savagewind]

I'm sorry Frankie. I know your trouble is not common. Losing your mom, too sick to work and now almost homeless, one after the other.

But I think being without loving assistance is very common. For that I am sorry. I think if I could, I would like to invite you to stay awhile. I think you are smart and that you have a big heart. Right now I have very little to no disposable income and I live with others who get to decide who can visit. I shall ask Jesus for you.

I have asked Jesus to fix it. If it gets fixed you know who to thank.

if I could invite you to my place because you lived close and because I could do whatever I damn well pleased, I trust Jesus that you would not take advantage and stay forever.

Then my troll says, "I think he might rather be homeless". That's for Jay Jay who? LOL It is against the forum rules to mention who. OK?

 

[savagewind]

Do you think I am kidding? I am not kidding. What would I get for hosting a stranger at my house? I could get to observe you.
I would add you to my collection of people whom I have observed.

I would respect your privacy as you would respect mine. Because, you know, Jesus lives here too.

 

[psychoslice]

In Australia this wouldn't happen, you would be placed on an emergency list and you would be in your own unit within two weeks, paying around one hundred dollars a week, also getting around eight hundred dollars a fortnight.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

The going is tough Frankie, very tough. Don't give up. What the hell is wrong with your sister? Family should never give up on family. That's just not right.

My sister is mentally ill, on disability and holding a grudge about things that happened decades ago. She never offered to help our mother and I, when she knew we needed help and wanted help, and when our mom helped her so many times like with paying rent. She's the only blood relative I talk to (I could talk to her daughter, my niece, but I don't really know her), and I have a large family. I'm estrange from all the rest of my family. It's an extremely dysfunctional, abusive, hateful family situation. I disown them. I'm very mad at my sister. She knows I'm out here all alone. We had some clashes when our mom died earlier this year and I plummeted into yet another suicidal depression and wasn't able to do much of anything. I think she was mostly interested in our mom's money. Well, I blew the life insurance money (I was the only beneficiary for that). I admitted that to her in an email I sent yesterday. I'm sure she's pissed at me over it. Oh, well.

She lives in Southern California with her daughter, by the way. I'm in Ohio.

Do you have any friends at least that could perhaps let you stay? Or do you know anyone that you know very well that can perhaps invite you over?

No. Not that I'm aware of, anyway.

Sorry you're going through this. Have you tried your church?

I'm not involved with the church right now. I have a strained relationship with Catholic social services here. One of the organizations, JOIN, got fed up with my mom and I asking them for help and I've drifted away from the people I knew from my parish. My Godmother abandoned me years ago, another woman we were friends with and who is wealthy rejected us when we asked for help and this other guy is elderly and has a lot of problems.

 

[Demonslayer]

My sister is mentally ill, disabled and holding a grudge about things that happened decades ago. She never offered to help our mother and I, when she knew we needed help and wanted help, and when our mom helped her so many times like with paying rent. She's the only blood relative I talk to (I could talk to her daughter, my niece, but I don't really know her), and I have a large family. I'm estrange from all the rest of my family. It's an extremely dysfunctional, abusive, hateful family situation. I disown them. I'm very mad at my sister. She knows I'm out here all alone.

That seriously sucks. All families have problems, some far worse than others, but in times of darkest need all that should be put aside. Not that you need me to tell you that!

 

[Demonslayer]

Because, you know, Jesus lives here too.

Does he pee on the toilet seat? Some guests just can't keep it real.

 

[Nyingjé Tso]

I don't know anyone near your city but I'm trying to get in touch with my few american friend to see if they can assist in any way...
Sorry will try my best, just hang in there

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

In Australia this wouldn't happen, you would be placed on an emergency list and you would be in your own unit within two weeks, paying around one hundred dollars a week, also getting around eight hundred dollars a fortnight.

In America, the severely mentally ill who don't have people supporting them tend to end up homeless and/or in jail. There's not much available in terms of social services.

 

[Demonslayer]

In America, the severely mentally ill who don't have people supporting them tend to end up homeless and/or in jail. There's not much available in terms of social services.

Thank you Ronald Reagan.

 

[savagewind]

Does he pee on the toilet seat? Some guests just can't keep it real.

He does not wash the toilet seat. But on the other hand, he does not use up the toilet paper. If Frank wasn't ignoring me, I'd ask him if he uses too much toilet paper.

 

[Demonslayer]

But on the other hand, he does not use up the toilet paper.

The Immaculate Evacuation. Pretty cool!

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

I just remembered that the cops have been sent to check on me multiple times this year and this is the second time this year I've been sent to an emergency psychiatric facility for making suicide threats. This is not a good year for me. :/