Incel What is it?

[Revoltingest]

The incel community does tend to skew towards males. This is not an indictment of all men, nor does it suggest that men will necessarily become problematic if they do not experience sex. The trend does suggest that there may be a portion (a small one) of men who may need some assistance from society to deal with their specific mental health issues. And that’s perfectly fine. Everyone needs a helping hand once in a while. No shame in that, I would hope
That I needed to reassure you of this fact does seem a bit…telling, if you don’t mind me saying?

I don't need reassurance.
But I appreciate thoughtful posts on the matter.
Note that yours are not the only posts here. Some
do betray less insight & tolerance towards others.

 

[Revoltingest]

However if you feel its a thread about incels being potential mass murderers could you please point out the posts indicating this?

Your post #82....
"Or is the issue broader & more complex
than "An incel committed mass murder." - no."

I asked, & you answered thus.
From this I inferred a view that the issue
was not broader & more complex.

 

[SomeRandom]

I don't need reassurance.
But I appreciate thoughtful posts on the matter.
Note that yours are not the only posts here. Some
do betray less insight & tolerance towards others.

Well humans will always have biases. As a woman I hope you’ll indulge me in my own towards the incel community.
I sincerely try hard to not judge these blokes. Many seem merely lost and lonely. I can’t fault them for that. But having spent some time in such communities (albeit somewhat adjacent) I mean the views there are extremely toxic. And I’m talking like something that even a hardcore Bible Belt conservative would call sexist, if you get me? So I try to have understanding whilst being realistic. I’m sure many can be for lack of a better word “rehabilitated” and live normal lives.
Others though just scream future mass shooter

 

[Revoltingest]

Well humans will always have biases. As a woman I hope you’ll indulge me in my own towards the incel community.
I sincerely try hard to not judge these blokes. Many seem merely lost and lonely. I can’t fault them for that. But having spent some time in such communities (albeit somewhat adjacent) I mean the views there are extremely toxic. And I’m talking like something that even a hardcore Bible Belt conservative would call sexist, if you get me? So I try to have understanding whilst being realistic. I’m sure many can be for lack of a better word “rehabilitated” and live normal lives.
Others though just scream future mass shooter

We all have biases.
To be aware of & to consider them is useful.

I notice that we have some fine posters on RF
whom I'd describe as "incel", but in the original
sense of the term. They've not become toxic.

 

[ChristineM]

Your post #82....
"Or is the issue broader & more complex
than "An incel committed mass murder." - no."

I asked, & you answered thus.
From this I inferred a view that the issue
was not broader & more complex.

You were doing your war dance will before that but... the issue is "what is incel" simple explanations have been provided. That Jake Davison commited multiple murders is not in question

 

[Stevicus]

Or a man, for that matter.

Many men have been killed outright by a one punch blow to the head from another man. In fact, statistically afaik, the victims of one punch blows tend overwhelmingly to be other males, because the vast majority of men would never even dream of lifting a finger to a woman:


One-punch deaths: How lives are devastated by a single blow

While no official figures are available on one-punch deaths, the campaign group One Punch Can Kill has recorded more than 80 fatalities since 2007.

Many of the cases have attracted media attention - in large part because it seems extraordinary that one punch can kill.

Many one-punch killings involve young men, often in drink-fuelled, random acts of violence.​

I recall one of my brother's friends had an altercation with a nightclub bouncer, who proceeded to give the guy a sudden left hook.

My brother's friend ended up in hospital with brain damage.

However, vis-a-vis a comment made by the OP, if my girlfriend assaulted me with a glass bottle or left actual bodily harm in the form of scars with an ashtray, I seriously doubt that I'd still remain in that relationship, personally speaking. It would be an immediate red-flag.

Physical abuse is physical abuse and in my book she would've had no right to do that, as it's a violation of my bodily integrity, no matter her gender.

Men are stronger and usually bigger with more muscle mass than women, so yes we have a far greater responsibility for gentleness and non-retaliation and any man that hits a woman (unless it's an accident and he's literally defending his life or at risk of being assaulted with a knife or something) is a beast as far as I'm concerned, but still it's never ever ok to assault anyone of any gender.

When I was a little kid, there were a few times when I hit a bigger kid who was a few years older than me. Of course, they hit back and hit hard. I didn't get much sympathy from anyone, as they told me I shouldn't have picked a fight with someone who was bigger and stronger than I was. Good advice.

As I got older, bigger, and stronger myself, I did have some scraps with those who were more on a peer level, yet who had reputations as tough guys or bullies. By holding my own against them, most everyone else left me alone. But this was among guys, and we also were strongly conditioned and brought up to not hit girls or women.

However, thinking back on those times, I'm reminded of some girl I remember from junior high school. She had kind of a "mean girl" streak about her. One day, she seemed to take some glee in telling me that someone was going to beat me up after school, but such an event never happened. I knew exactly which guy she had in mind, the one who was supposedly going to beat me up. She didn't know about some of my more recent bouts and the reputation I was getting among my male peers. I couldn't find him after he school; he was nowhere to be found.

That's something that often gets overlooked in all of this, in that male-on-male violence doesn't "just happen." Very often it can be instigated. We men can often be very simple-minded creatures and easily manipulated into doing violence. Armies are made that way.

 

[Revoltingest]

You were doing your war dance will before that but... the issue is "what is incel" simple explanations have been provided.

I prefer to avoid simplistic explanations
with consequent broad brush demonization.

That Jake Davison commited multiple murders is not in question

Duh.

 

[SomeRandom]

We all have biases.
To be aware of & to consider them is useful.

To err is human, after all

I notice that we have some fine posters on RF
whom I'd describe as "incel", but in the original
sense of the term. They've not become toxic.

Well I did acknowledge that not all incels are the “mass shooter” variety

Many are just lonely insecure guys who may have other social quirks. Or whatever. These blokes can be “saved” because I don’t think they’re bad guys.
But we cannot discount how dangerous this ideology is. Roosh V for example (I hope I spelled that correctly)
We can do both. Help self confessed “incels” become healthier or even just come to terms with their mental health. And acknowledge that there may be a portion that will be prone to mass violence. I think approaching this “community” in such a way is both realistic and offers a path out of despair for those who may be feeling very badly about themselves. Help but do not absolve is basically what I advocate for these days

 

[ChristineM]

I prefer to avoid simplistic explanations
with consequent broad brush demonization.

Duh.

If a simple explanation is all that is required then why complicate things.

Duh right back at ya

 

[Revoltingest]

If a simple explanation is all that is required then why complicate things.

Duh right back at ya

We'll agree to disagree about how simple it is.

 

[ChristineM]

We'll agree to disagree about how simple it is.

That appears to be a simple and fair assessment