Inexorable Consequences

[4consideration]

If they forever more greet you with "Got Milk?" and you realize those other shiny things in your kitchen have a purpose also, you will make it a goal to always have milk.
If you make it a goal to always have milk, you will devise a plan to get Quagmire's goat.
If you devise a plan to get Quagmire's goat, you will use the milk from that goat and the shiny things in your kitchen to make goat cheese.

 

[Quagmire]

If they forever more greet you with "Got Milk?" and you realize those other shiny things in your kitchen have a purpose also, you will make it a goal to always have milk.
If you make it a goal to always have milk, you will devise a plan to get Quagmire's goat.
If you devise a plan to get Quagmire's goat, you will use the milk from that goat and the shiny things in your kitchen to make goat cheese.

If you do all that I, . . .um, . . .I won't have time to come up with a come back.

 

[BSM1]

If you don't have time to...um...come up with a come back, you will wing it until something appropriate comes to mind.

 

[4consideration]

If you don't have time to come up with a come back, it'll just have to wait until the next party.
If it just has to wait until the next party, you will have to show up early to help with the food in the kitchen.
If you have to help with the food in the kitchen, you will be put in charge of cutting the cheese.

 

[Quagmire]

If you don't have time to come up with a come back, it'll just have to wait until the next party.
If it just has to wait until the next party, you will have to show up early to help with the food in the kitchen.
If you have to help with the food in the kitchen, you will be put in charge of cutting the cheese.

If they put me in charge of cutting the cheese, that'll be the end of the party.

 

[4consideration]

If you have to wing it until something appropriate comes to mind, you will realize that your mind is full of inappropriate thoughts that are clogging the system.

 

[4consideration]

If they put me in charge of cutting the cheese, that'll be the end of the party.

If that's the end of the party, you will announce that it is time to clean up and everyone will scatter.

 

[Quagmire]

If that's the end of the party, you will announce that it is time to clean up and everyone will scatter.

If everyone scatters you will wonder who cut the cheese.

 

[4consideration]

If you wonder who cut the cheese, you will notice that someone put a sign on Quag's back that reads, "It was me. I cut the cheese. Got Cheese?"

 

[Revoltingest]

If you notice that someone put a sign on Quag's back that reads, "It was me. I cut the cheese. Got Cheese?", you will lament the societal trend towards ever more fart jokes.
If lament the societal trend towards ever more fart jokes, you will become a social reformer.

 

[4consideration]

If you become a social reformer, you will begin by watching childrens' TV programming.
If you begin watching childrens' TV programming, you will notice that it is full of fart jokes.
If you notice that it is full of fart jokes, you will also notice that it is full of burping jokes.
If you notice that it is full of fart and burping jokes, you will decide that childrens' TV programming is not really appropriate for children.
If you notice that childrens' TV programming is not really appropriate for children, you will decide to begin producing better qualilty childrens' TV programs.

 

[Revoltingest]

If you decide to begin producing better qualilty childrens' TV programs, you will seek out Paul Reubens.

 

[4consideration]

You you seek out Paul Reubens, you will find that he is having a big adventure.

edit: If you find that he is having a big adventure, you will ask him if he has a "Large Marge" type shock in store for you.

 

[Revoltingest]

If you find that Paul is having a big adventure, you will rekindle your love of bicycles.

 

[4consideration]

If you rekindle your love of bicycles, you will remember other things that you loved from your childhood.
If you remember other things that you loved from your childhood, you will rekindle other loves that you had forgotten about.

 

[Revoltingest]

If you rekindle other loves that you had forgotten about, you will call up old friends to chat.

 

[BSM1]

If you call up old friends to chat, you will realize they think you want to borrow money.
If they think you want to borrow money, they will act like they don't remember you.

 

[Revoltingest]

If they act like they don't remember you, you will begin to think that your life is a false memory implant.

 

[BSM1]

If you think that your life is a false memory implant, you will write a best selling novel about it.
If you write a best selling novel about it, it will be made into a movie.
If it is made into a movie, you will demand that Brad Pitt plays you.

 

[4consideration]

If you demand that Brad Pitt plays you, Brad Pitt will follow you around for a month to see what it is really like to be you.