The probability of that kind of union working, however, decreases substantially the further back in history you go or the more traditional you slide along the modern continuum. It hinges on your mutual openness to defy traditional norms associated with the respective gatekeepers of your tradition. In my case, the bf's familial and cultural affinity for Catholicism is fine. It is engaged in at an almost purely ritual level without any commitment to belief or fealty to the church. Under those circumstances I can even stomach participating in my lowly non-Catholic way at midnight mass, at an institution I hope withers and rots away in the next few hundred years. But if he was a believer in the bodily resurrection and the heavenly dominion of Jesus ? If he believed that the church was worth giving away 10% or more of our income? That, I would be far less willing to indulge, and we would never have made it as far as we have. Our values just wouldn't align. There are always exceptions to the rule of course, but in general I doubt it would work.
Again, I hear ya, but we can each set our own course regardless of history and previous customs. A couple can attend both services, contribute to mutual charities, find churches and synagogues that are accepting of mixed marriage, etc.
Overall religious values, as part of our applications, really don't vary that much when it comes to the basics, and the ones that do vary generally speaking can still be held privately or compromised. Our kids and our grandkids are examples of this, in that they all attend each others' religious functions and we
never argue religion-- discuss it, yes-- argue, never.
So, it does work, but that depends on the mindsets of those involved.
