Is It Possible For Males and Females to Be Platonic Friends?

[Revoltingest]

I can totally be platonic friends with a chick if she's not too good looking.

I have one good female friend who isn't part of a couple Mrs Rev & are friends with.
Coincidentally, she is quite ugly, & more of a guy than a gal.

 

[ChristineES]

I think that it's more appropriate to have close female friends before one is married. After that point, it feels a little less appropriate, however, it is for you and your partner to decide ultimately. I wouldn't presume to tell you whether or not it's ok for your best friends to be guys, but as a man, I would strongly prefer that not be the case with my wife.

I hope that helps.

Hey, thanks! I appreciate some serious feedback.

 

[ChristineES]

I have had some male friends who were incredibly handsome but had to keep it to myself. After all, I wouldn't want to break up any relationship- not that any relationship would be in danger because of me (I am not exactly Cindy Crawford).

 

[Gaura Priya]

The problem with having close friendships with those whom you may also have the potential to be attracted to, is the inclination towards sexual desire. It is one reason why religious societies traditionally had some segregation between women and men, and that gay men are generally with womenfolk, while lesbians have mainly menfolk.

Not like it matters now in this age, but it is also a way of saving one's self from heartache, or lusty desires, or from being accused of being unfaithful to your life partner.

Inasmuch as I like men, I still try to limit my association with other men and do try to foster more relationships with womenfolk.

On a side note, I don't believe in stupid questions. I believe in stupid answers, however. XD

 

[Secret Chief]

Trust can only go so far.

If my partner went out regularly with a member of the opposite sex, should I trust that it was platonic? I think it only human nature to have doubt and be concerned.

This cuts both ways. I have good friends of the opposite sex at work. Unfortunately this means we could not have regular meetings outside work; nor would I expect my partner to accept such behaviour.

 

[Renji]

Yes. Most of my friends are female, simply because I like talking to them more. That, and in my classes, females outnumber the males, so that is another reason.

Same here.

 

[Sunstone]

It's been possible for me to be platonic friends with females. At least, they said they were females. I didn't check cause we were just platonic friends.

 

[Awoon]

whats platonic, one of those science word for gin & tonic?

 

[darkstar]

I would say yes, its possible. My wife and I have many close friends of both genders. The key is trust all around. The only people I consider true friends are like family to me. They are my brothers and sisters. Thus it stays at friendship and family bonds, anything else would just be weird.

In fact it isn't uncommon for my female friends to fall asleep while using me as a pillow. Or for my wife to do the same with a male friend of ours if I'm not available for some reason.
People seem to mix up physical closeness and sex. Just because you are close to someone doesn't mean you're going to have a sexual relationship.

It never ceases to amaze me how many people find it inappropriate to have close friends of the opposite gender. I guess It's a trust issue more than anything.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

Trust can only go so far.

If my partner went out regularly with a member of the opposite sex, should I trust that it was platonic? I think it only human nature to have doubt and be concerned.

I think it's a matter of good communication. I think that people can have platonic relationships with members of the opposite sex, and I also think that this can lead to jealousy from spouses/partners/whatnot... if open communication isn't maintained. If you don't give your spouse any indication that they have a special status that the platonic friend doesn't, the spouse can start to worry that the friend is taking his/her place.

 

[Penumbra]

I majored in engineering and work in a place filled mostly with engineers. As a result, I have more male friends than female friends.

I view them as platonic friends. And, most respect the fact that I am in a relationship, and so all interaction is platonic. Maybe a little casual flirting here and there, but that's fun. It's all about good communication.

 

[Draka]

I think the question is quite relevant because some people simply don't think it is possible. Jealousy is an ugly monster. I've always been a bit of a tomboy and had more guy friends than girl friends. The guys I've gotten into relationships with have all known this about me. My second husband, however, didn't like it. As if I was just supposed to drop my male friends the instant we got married. I wasn't going to do that. I once bumped into a male friend of mine I hadn't seen in a long time while at the laundromat. We were happy to see each other and wanted to catch up and decided to go grab something to eat and chat for a while. To me it was the same as if I had ran into any of my female friends. My husband, however, hit the roof. As far as he was concerned it was a date and I was a cheating skank.

I have another guy friend who was in much the same situation. His wife didn't like him having female friends. Ironically, she was the one who introduced the two of us because she wanted her husband to meet her good friend. I guess she had not intended him and I to actually become friends too. It ended up driving her nuts and she constantly accused him of cheating on her with me which was certainly not the case. Turns out, the issue was she had cheated on him more than once and was paranoid that if he had close female friends he would do the same to her.

I think this tends to be the underlying problem. People who have issues with their significant others being friends with the opposite gender (or maybe same gender in the case of homosexuality) know of their own indiscretions or what they would want to do and are projecting that upon the relationship.

All that said, I do think there are some people who have promiscuity issues and do find it difficult to separate platonic feelings and love from sexual attraction feelings. That is a whole different thing that has more to do with psychological issues and learned behaviors.

 

[Meow Mix]

For this question to apply to me it'd have to be about women (if the question is more generally, "can you be platonic friends with someone you have the potential to be sexually attracted to") -- in which case, yeah. I have several friends that in different circumstances I would find attractive, but our friendships are utterly Platonic.

 

[Me Myself]

I am not 100% understanding what do you mean with platonic friends.

With platonic love it means that the other person has no **** idea you "love" him/her. Is platonic friendship where the other person has no **** idea s/he is suppossed to be your friend?

Sorry if I am slow today could you please specify?

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

I am not 100% understanding what do you mean with platonic friends.

With platonic love it means that the other person has no **** idea you "love" him/her. Is platonic friendship where the other person has no **** idea s/he is suppossed to be your friend?

Sorry if I am slow today could you please specify?

You're operating under a different definition of "platonic" than I am.

I've always understood a platonic relationship to be one that's mutually loving, but not romantic or sexual.

 

[Mister Emu]

Absolutely not; its the devil's work...

 

[Me Myself]

You're operating under a different definition of "platonic" than I am.

I've always understood a platonic relationship to be one that's mutually loving, but not romantic or sexual.

Hummm interesting o.o... specially when "platonic" in this context was supposedly somthing out of Plato´s world of ideas, in which ideas are perfect and the realities we are stuck with are just a reflection of their perfection.

While I do say you can have love without sex, I would hardly call it ideal!

In any case, I am curious already and wan´t to know what´s this about o.o

 

[ChristineES]

It's been possible for me to be platonic friends with females. At least, they said they were females. I didn't check cause we were just platonic friends.

You can "accidentally" run into them in that area to see if anything is there. . I wouldn't really recommend it, though. People are usually a lot smarter than we give them credit for. :foot:

 

[Draka]

You can "accidentally" run into them in that area to see if anything is there. . I wouldn't really recommend it, though. People are usually a lot smarter than we give them credit for. :foot:

I suddenly had a flashback to Crocodile Dundee checking to see if a woman was really a man.

 

[ChristineES]

I suddenly had a flashback to Crocodile Dundee checking to see if a woman was really a man.

That was really funny!! I guess only Paul Hogan could get away with doing that.