Is Rape justified in a marriage?

[MissAlice]

Ok well before anyone says it isn't, I was arguing with some people who in their religious belief believe that there is no such thing as rape in a marriage. In other words, if a woman decides to marry she must give up some of her "rights" and please her man. One woman told me that a man has needs and the purpose of a woman is to please those needs.

I know this sounds crazy but I was asked why it's rape and why it isn't justified in my point of view. Well for one, I don't think it's fair to the woman. I was raised in a society where men and women are equal in a relationship. However I'm not married, I was wondering what anyone else's point of view is when sex is forced upon a woman who is married to her husband.

 

[Father Heathen]

A woman isn't a piece of property. Only a primitive savage would say otherwise. How primitive savages actually manage to attract women I've no idea.

 

[Pegg]

of course no 'rape' is justified...its an act of violence.

The bible is balanced though when it comes to sex in marriage.
It tells men and women that they each need to provide sexual intimacy to the other, but at the same time councils that love and respect is the basis of a good marriage.

Pauls advice is this:
1 Cor 7:3 Let the husband render to [his] wife her due; but let the wife also do likewise to [her] husband. 4 The wife does not exercise authority over her own body, but her husband does; likewise, also, the husband does not exercise authority over his own body, but his wife does. 5 Do not be depriving each other [of it], except by mutual consent for an appointed time"

Ephesians 5:28-29 “Husbands ought to be loving their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself, for no man ever hated his own flesh; but he feeds and cherishes it, as the Christ also does the congregation.”

So if husbands are acting like Christ did for his disciples, then they should certainly be loving toward their wives and would never dare be sexually violent toward them.

 

[Reverend Rick]

Do you believe anyone will post and say that rape is OK?

 

[Terrywoodenpic]

Do you believe anyone will post and say that rape is OK?

From the rapist point of view of course it is OK.

 

[Renji]

No one has the right to "forcefully" make someone engage into a sexual act. It's a form of "disrespect" towards that person.

 

[LuisDantas]

So the OP is in essence asking if it is legitimate to claim that a married woman is not entitled to complain if her husband forces her to have sex when she is not willing to.

Of course not. Rape is rape, even if the people involved were expected to feel and behave differently. Being married does not make a rape any less of a rape. If anything, it makes the betrayal of trust that much more serious.

 

[Revoltingest]

Ok well before anyone says it isn't, I was arguing with some people who in their religious belief believe that there is no such thing as rape in a marriage. In other words, if a woman decides to marry she must give up some of her "rights" and please her man. One woman told me that a man has needs and the purpose of a woman is to please those needs.

I vote that it is wrong. The mere fact the husband owns her, does not give
him the right to assault her. (Neither does the wife get to assault her owner.)

 

[SageTree]

It would be much more tactical to figure out why your Wife doesn't want to have consensual sex with you. I highly doubt "showin' her how it's going to be" will amend the situation later in the relationship, should it persist after.

As a married man I can't imagine how someone could justify this act and still live with themselves and the spouse.

 

[Kerr]

Ok well before anyone says it isn't, I was arguing with some people who in their religious belief believe that there is no such thing as rape in a marriage. In other words, if a woman decides to marry she must give up some of her "rights" and please her man. One woman told me that a man has needs and the purpose of a woman is to please those needs.

I know this sounds crazy but I was asked why it's rape and why it isn't justified in my point of view. Well for one, I don't think it's fair to the woman. I was raised in a society where men and women are equal in a relationship. However I'm not married, I was wondering what anyone else's point of view is when sex is forced upon a woman who is married to her husband.

Rape is never justified. Doesn´t matter if you are married or not. Period.

On a side note, would they have the same position if it was the woman who raped the man?

 

[tomato1236]

My wife never rapes me. It's too bad, really.

 

[SageTree]

Rape is a power issue, not a sexual one.

 

[Smoke]

Ok well before anyone says it isn't, I was arguing with some people who in their religious belief believe that there is no such thing as rape in a marriage. In other words, if a woman decides to marry she must give up some of her "rights" and please her man. One woman told me that a man has needs and the purpose of a woman is to please those needs.

I'd stay way the hell away from those people. They're sick.

 

[ChristineES]

Rape is an act of violence and control, not sex, although sex is involved. So no, rape should absolutely never be justified.

EDIT: This is true even in a marriage. The bible says men are to treat their wives and love their wives the same as their own bodies.

 

[Penumbra]

No. Forcing a spouse to have sex is unethical.

In a marriage, each person should try to make the other one happy, but they shouldn't be forced to do anything like this.

Who could possibly enjoy sex with someone who doesn't want to have sex at the moment? A person who is made happy by such a thing is disgusting.

 

[dust1n]

Nope, and the penalties should be the same if not more if charges are pressed.

 

[.lava]

Ok well before anyone says it isn't, I was arguing with some people who in their religious belief believe that there is no such thing as rape in a marriage. In other words, if a woman decides to marry she must give up some of her "rights" and please her man.

i am unsure what rights you refer to but i believe marriage requires a few things otherwise it would not work. i think both man and woman have some duties for each other. for instance, if a woman was forced to have sex while she did not want to, then in that situation man is failing his duty for his wife. because he fails to see person.

One woman told me that a man has needs and the purpose of a woman is to please those needs.

women need things too IMO

I know this sounds crazy but I was asked why it's rape and why it isn't justified in my point of view. Well for one, I don't think it's fair to the woman. I was raised in a society where men and women are equal in a relationship. However I'm not married, I was wondering what anyone else's point of view is when sex is forced upon a woman who is married to her husband.

IMO husband raping wife because they are married is one of the most disgusting angle i could imagine. in a marriage partners might argue, fight and even force each other to agree with ideas and thoughts. but sex is different. sex should be expression of love. it makes me sick some men see women as sex toys and they own women because they're married with her. truly disgusting

.

 

[MissAlice]

Wow thanks guys. I'm not so great with debates but I feel exactly the same way. I still can't understand why some people have these twisted views about how a woman should behave in a relationship or why it shouldn't be considered rape just because you're married to that person.

I asked one woman on there about her needs. The only answer I got was that the only need a woman has is her children and her husband. I see a lot of this on many forums and it puzzles me as a female myself. I don't know I just found the whole discussion quite disturbing but I guess it's common among fundemental faiths?

 

[MissAlice]

On a side note, would they have the same position if it was the woman who raped the man?

Funny you should ask that. I got some weird responses. One gal told me women don't think about sex.... Another gal told me it wouldn't matter to her. I had other responses telling me that of course it's impossible for a woman to rape a guy and then I asked but what if her husband wasn't pleasing her in bed. Again I got the same responses.

 

[Vasilisa Jade]

I can't believe you thought twice about this... come on chikidee... the girl power panties are to your left. Now put them on and trot on away from twisted retarded people like that. There's no help for them. It's frightening, sad and twisted, but don't let it affect you. Just stay away from people like that. I'm sure that's not the only sad twisted retarded view they entertain.