Is sex sacred?

[Learner55]

Hello, everyone.

I am a 22 year old male, who believes in God, and follows my religion. However, my religion, which I would rather not disclose here, says no sex before marriage.

I am wondering everyone's thoughts on this?

I don't understand if 2 consenting adults are being safe; why that is considered "bad."

The reason I ask, is because I have been seeing this woman recently. I really like her, and I assume sex is going to come soon.

I've always told myself I would first have sex with someone I really liked; not a 1 night stand with a drunk woman.

Well, here am I faced with this dilemma.

Any thoughts would be helpful!

 

[Riverwolf]

I believe sex is a sacred thing, but one must understand the possible reasons why the "no sex before marriage" thing exists.

One reason would have likely been disease. While HIV is recent, of course, other STDs (or STIs) would have always existed, and it wouldn't have taken much intelligence to figure out exactly what was causing much of the sickness. So, keeping sex only between two people in marriage would have helped cut down disease immensely.

Another reason may have actually been to protect women from male seducers. Therefore, if a man tries to woo a woman with promises of everlasting love, but is outright lying just for one night of sex, she can seek proper justice for the betrayal.

Understanding these, and other possible, reasons for the no-sex-outside-of-marriage thing, should help you decide whether you yourself are okay with it.

 

[Bob Dixon]

Yes, most definitely! Sex, when it's between two partners who love each other and consent to it, is quite sacred! In fact, if they love each other, sex is highly recommended.

"Within marriage" is the best guarantee of love, though oftentimes, even that is no good.

 

[Learner55]

Thank you for the replies. So, if I decline sex with this woman, it should not bother me if she gets upset, or thinks I am lame?

 

[Riverwolf]

Thank you for the replies. So, if I decline sex with this woman, it should not bother me if she gets upset, or thinks I am lame?

While getting upset is understandable, what reason would she have for thinking you lame for such a decision?

I don't believe that things should or shouldn't "bother" you; what you do about feeling or not feeling bothered by things is what's important.

 

[Learner55]

While getting upset is understandable, what reason would she have for thinking you lame for such a decision?

I don't believe that things should or shouldn't "bother" you; what you do about feeling or not feeling bothered by things is what's important.

I suppose I don't know WHAT to feel.

I thing I know -- I don't want to regret my first time. How do I "know" if I will regret it or not?

 

[Learner55]

I guess I am also wondering WHY premarital sex is considered "wrong" ? Alcohol, drugs, are against my religion, because they do do harm to either the user or others. Thus, I do not engage in them.

But what does sex do?

 

[Matthew78]

I guess I am also wondering WHY premarital sex is considered "wrong" ? Alcohol, drugs, are against my religion, because they do do harm to either the user or others. Thus, I do not engage in them.

But what does sex do?

It might help if you explain exactly how your religion or religious views frown on premaritial sex. As for not wanting to regret your first time, I think a lot of people experience this but it sometimes happens. Young, naive people, who think they're in love or two people who are just eager to experience the excitement of sex will try having it and realize that it's not what they expected and it affects them in ways they didn't realize or want.

As for the "right time"-this is something I wish I could answer.

 

[Riverwolf]

I suppose I don't know WHAT to feel.

I thing I know -- I don't want to regret my first time. How do I "know" if I will regret it or not?

If you feel uncomfortable AT ALL with it, don't.

I, personally, waited a year after meeting my girlfriend (who is, so far, my first and only one). We're not officially married, yet, but neither are either of us against premarital sex. It's still a sacred thing for us.

 

[Riverwolf]

I guess I am also wondering WHY premarital sex is considered "wrong" ? Alcohol, drugs, are against my religion, because they do do harm to either the user or others. Thus, I do not engage in them.

But what does sex do?

I gave you a few possible reasons already.

 

[Learner55]

If you feel uncomfortable AT ALL with it, don't.

Thanks. I wonder if, the fact that I'm even asking, shows I am uncomfortable with it inside.

 

[Draka]

I don't know if you're wanting to hear from a Pagan viewpoint, but I'll provide mine none-the-less and you're free to discard if you so choose.

I think Riverwolf had some good points about why marriage was considered important at the time, and therefore why pre-marital sex was considered a "no-no". I don't believe pre-marital sex to be a bad thing myself. When the couple in question is safe about their actions, then what they do is between them. I do think that sex can be a sacred act when between two people who sincerely care about each other and have a bond. Bringing the relationship to a physical level can deepen the relationship that much more. This can happen with or without a marriage. For really, when one thinks about it, what is marriage but the joining of two people to create a union? A marriage certificate doesn't create that union, it just legally recognizes it. If you believe that your Deity sees what's in your heart and your love and commitment to a person, do you really think It would begrudge a natural expression of that love because you don't have a legal paper? I guess that's for you to decide here.

 

[BruceDLimber]

My religion also states sex is for marriage only.

Peace,

Bruce

 

[Skwim]

Hello, everyone.

I am a 22 year old male, who believes in God, and follows my religion. However, my religion, which I would rather not disclose here, says no sex before marriage.

I am wondering everyone's thoughts on this?

I don't understand if 2 consenting adults are being safe; why that is considered "bad."

That answer should be within the teachings of your religion; the why. I have noticed that many religious dos and don'ts addressed issues that no longer exist, or are at least quite minor in nature today. However, this has not prevented current leaders of these religions (Christian denominations, to be exact) to hang on to these dos and don'ts, as if they still carried their ancient relevancy. I suggest looking into the whys and wherefores of this prohibition and see for yourself if the reasoning is still valid. Does it really make sense or not. Maybe it will and maybe it won't.

 

[Noaidi]

If it feels right for both of you, then why not? If you believe that sex is a gift from your god, then why wait for a human validation (i.e. a marriage certificate)?

 

[Learner55]

That answer should be within the teachings of your religion; the why. I have noticed that many religious dos and don'ts addressed issues that no longer exist, or are at least quite minor in nature today. However, this has not prevented current leaders of these religions (Christian denominations, to be exact) to hang on to these dos and don'ts, as if they still carried their ancient relevancy. I suggest looking into the whys and wherefores of this prohibition and see for yourself if the reasoning is still valid. Does it really make sense or not. Maybe it will and maybe it won't.

Thank you.

It is said sex before marriage is lustful, and lust is something to avoid.

If lust is defined as uncontrollable, I would say this is something I can control.

 

[St Giordano Bruno]

No, it is just fun.

 

[Sunstone]

Insisting that sex is sacred is a great way to profane it.

 

[Riverwolf]

Thank you.

It is said sex before marriage is lustful, and lust is something to avoid.

If lust is defined as uncontrollable, I would say this is something I can control.

Lust is nothing more than a feeling, which can never be entirely avoided, unless you become a monk. (And even then, only a very small percentage of monks can entirely get rid of it, and they were probably asexual, anyway.)

What you feel cannot be avoided; how you react is what matters.

 

[Pegg]

Hello, everyone.

I am a 22 year old male, who believes in God, and follows my religion. However, my religion, which I would rather not disclose here, says no sex before marriage.

I am wondering everyone's thoughts on this?

I don't understand if 2 consenting adults are being safe; why that is considered "bad."

The reason I ask, is because I have been seeing this woman recently. I really like her, and I assume sex is going to come soon.

I've always told myself I would first have sex with someone I really liked; not a 1 night stand with a drunk woman.

Well, here am I faced with this dilemma.

Any thoughts would be helpful!

Many people have learned that sex outside of Gods arrangement (marriage) does not lead to happiness...it often makes people unhappy and brings trouble to their life, ie unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted disease, lack of self respect
and it can often cause relationships to sour. You should know that most woman seek a partner who wants to stay with her...if your idea is only casual sex, then she may feel betrayed and used by you at a later time... and thats even if you've told her you only want casual sex because a womans emotional makeup makes us prone to attachment.

But then you should also take Gods view of the matter into consideration. God has nothing against sexual relations...he made us to be able to enjoy an intimate relationship with our partner and enjoy sex, so there is nothing wrong with sex.

but even if a couple love each other, Gods rules governing sex are clear... marriage needs to be entered into before enjoying sex. Marriage is an arrangement whereby the man and woman commit themselves to each other and make a vow to each other and to God to remain a couple. God has his reasons for requiring us to take this step before we have sex, its up to us to either respect Gods wishes, or ignore them....just be prepared for the possible consequences our actions because God will not save us from any mistakes we might make.

One very good reason i can think of is that God views all life as sacred. Pregnancy and sex go hand in hand...even using contraception do not always work as my husband and I can attest twice! So what will you do if she falls pregnant? what will she do? Will you destroy the life that God views as sacred or will you then be forced to marry and regret it later??? There are so many things to consider and I guess that is why God knows that sex is best avoided until you are at a stage where you are secure and emotionally mature enough to handle the things that may come your way once you start having sex.