I don't have that problem...
Neither do I. My Satguru, a staunch Saivite, gets invited as a guest to help open Sri Vaishnava temples, his 3 Saiva stripes and all. Lots of Saivas and Vaishnavas aren't fundamentalist at all, but those are the ones we hear about. Either its because they're the ones that make the most noise, or they're the ones the press focuses on because of the noise. Personally, I think the rivalry is largely a myth.