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Jokes!
- Thread starter FlyingTeaPot
- Start date
FlyingTeaPot
Irrational Rationalist. Educated Fool.
FlyingTeaPot
Irrational Rationalist. Educated Fool.
FlyingTeaPot
Irrational Rationalist. Educated Fool.
FlyingTeaPot
Irrational Rationalist. Educated Fool.
FlyingTeaPot
Irrational Rationalist. Educated Fool.
FlyingTeaPot
Irrational Rationalist. Educated Fool.
From reddit:
My wife came up to me and said, "Take off my shirt". So I took off her shirt. Then she said, "Take off my skirt." I took off her skirt. "Take off my shoes." I took off her shoes. "Now my hose, bra, and panties." I took them off. Then she looked at me and said, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again."
My wife came up to me and said, "Take off my shirt". So I took off her shirt. Then she said, "Take off my skirt." I took off her skirt. "Take off my shoes." I took off her shoes. "Now my hose, bra, and panties." I took them off. Then she looked at me and said, "I don't want to catch you wearing my things ever again."
FlyingTeaPot
Irrational Rationalist. Educated Fool.
FlyingTeaPot
Irrational Rationalist. Educated Fool.
FlyingTeaPot
Irrational Rationalist. Educated Fool.
OBAMA'S SPEECH AFTER OSAMA BIN LADEN WAS KILLED.
FlyingTeaPot
Irrational Rationalist. Educated Fool.
FlyingTeaPot
Irrational Rationalist. Educated Fool.
I'd give you a frubal, but I've got spread it around first apparently. Damn communists! 
I'd give you a frubal, but I've got spread it around first apparently. Damn communists!
aww xD
dyanaprajna2011
Dharmapala
I think I might have already posted this somewhere here, but I'm going to post it again. This is a joke my step dad told me a long time ago.
There was a man, his wife, and their son, and they went on vacation to a nudist beach. The wife laid out a towel and laid back, while the son went off to play, and the dad wandered around.
After a while, the boy came to his mom and said "mommy, there are girls here with boobies bigger than yours." "The bigger they are, the dumber they are," the mom responded. The boy was satisfied with this answer, and went off to play.
After another little while, the boy came back to his mom, and said "mommy, there are boys here with thingys bigger than daddy's." "The bigger they are, the dumber they are," the mom said, and the boy went off to play again.
The boy came back to his mom a third time and said "mommy, I just seen daddy talking to the dumbest girl I've ever seen, and the more she talks, the dumber he gets!"
There was a man, his wife, and their son, and they went on vacation to a nudist beach. The wife laid out a towel and laid back, while the son went off to play, and the dad wandered around.
After a while, the boy came to his mom and said "mommy, there are girls here with boobies bigger than yours." "The bigger they are, the dumber they are," the mom responded. The boy was satisfied with this answer, and went off to play.
After another little while, the boy came back to his mom, and said "mommy, there are boys here with thingys bigger than daddy's." "The bigger they are, the dumber they are," the mom said, and the boy went off to play again.
The boy came back to his mom a third time and said "mommy, I just seen daddy talking to the dumbest girl I've ever seen, and the more she talks, the dumber he gets!"
(A Blonde joke -- told to me by -- a Blonde.)
A Blonde pulls out onto the highway, directly in front of a man who is driving his prized Corvette. He slams on his brakes and misses her, but he slides off the road and hits a fence. His vehicle is badly damaged, but still driveable. He is not injured.
After he recovers his senses, he takes off down the road after her. He catches up with her, pulls alongside her, and motions for her to pull over -- which she does.
The woman gets out the car, smiling and flipping her hair around. She says, "Heyyy!"
The man is furious. He is so upset that he is afraid of what he might do. He keeps telling himself, "Don't do anything stupid. Don't hit her. Do something else. Find some other way to let it out."
He sees a metal rod laying on the ground. He picks it up, draws a large circle in the dirt and says, "Lady, stand in the middle of this circle. And, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, DON'T STEP OUT OF THIS CIRCLE."
She giggles, says "OK!" and steps inside of the circle.
The man walks up to the woman's car, metal rod in hand, and swings it to smash the rear tail-light. But, just as the rod is about to make contact, he hears the woman giggle. Flabergasted, he turns to look at her. She is standing in the circle and just smiles and waves at him.
Now he's even more angry. He swings the rod again -- this time at the rear windshield. Again, he hears her giggle just before he smashes the windshield. He looks at her. She smiles and waves from inside the circle. He is incredulous -- and even more angry.
This continues on and on, as he smashes section after section of her car, and she is just giggling while he does it. The anger is not released. It continues to mount in him all along.
Finally, the vehicle is a mangled heap of metal and broken glass. He is exhausted, but still angry. She is smiling, humming to herself and swaying back and forth inside the circle.
He screams at her, "LADY, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? ARE YOU CRAZY?"
She grins at him, and says, "Well, you didn't know it, (giggle)... but...every time you turned around..." she pointed the toes of one foot to the exterior of the circle, then continued in a sing-song way, "...I stepped out of the circle!"
A Blonde pulls out onto the highway, directly in front of a man who is driving his prized Corvette. He slams on his brakes and misses her, but he slides off the road and hits a fence. His vehicle is badly damaged, but still driveable. He is not injured.
After he recovers his senses, he takes off down the road after her. He catches up with her, pulls alongside her, and motions for her to pull over -- which she does.
The woman gets out the car, smiling and flipping her hair around. She says, "Heyyy!"
The man is furious. He is so upset that he is afraid of what he might do. He keeps telling himself, "Don't do anything stupid. Don't hit her. Do something else. Find some other way to let it out."
He sees a metal rod laying on the ground. He picks it up, draws a large circle in the dirt and says, "Lady, stand in the middle of this circle. And, NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, DON'T STEP OUT OF THIS CIRCLE."
She giggles, says "OK!" and steps inside of the circle.
The man walks up to the woman's car, metal rod in hand, and swings it to smash the rear tail-light. But, just as the rod is about to make contact, he hears the woman giggle. Flabergasted, he turns to look at her. She is standing in the circle and just smiles and waves at him.
Now he's even more angry. He swings the rod again -- this time at the rear windshield. Again, he hears her giggle just before he smashes the windshield. He looks at her. She smiles and waves from inside the circle. He is incredulous -- and even more angry.
This continues on and on, as he smashes section after section of her car, and she is just giggling while he does it. The anger is not released. It continues to mount in him all along.
Finally, the vehicle is a mangled heap of metal and broken glass. He is exhausted, but still angry. She is smiling, humming to herself and swaying back and forth inside the circle.
He screams at her, "LADY, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? ARE YOU CRAZY?"
She grins at him, and says, "Well, you didn't know it, (giggle)... but...every time you turned around..." she pointed the toes of one foot to the exterior of the circle, then continued in a sing-song way, "...I stepped out of the circle!"
Gjallarhorn
N'yog-Sothep
That bear is fun to hug...well, not in winter but yeah fun.
FlyingTeaPot
Irrational Rationalist. Educated Fool.
