I'm sorry, I only now am aware that English is your second language. I am finding it somewhat difficult to understand what it is you are trying to say, but let me say this, you may be also having difficulty understanding what I am trying to convey. To be sure, what I have been trying to convey with respect to 'realization' as opposed to 'conception' is that the latter involves primarily thought, while the former involves primarily the cessation of thought, ie., meditation. Even most English speakers would probably not understand what I am talking about, it is quite an esoteric practice based on Zen.