I appreciate someone willing to say they don't understand everything, and this sort of response is far more positive than the assumption I was dishonest or disingenuous. It is simply something I can say - that not everyone gets an answer.
It is true. Not everyone gets an answer from God. But I, knowing that God is faithful, do not find it very odd that God should ignore some people who only claim to do so.
I am not suggesting that your claim is necessarily a false claim, but it is a possibility, and one worth investigating. Perhaps you have. I really don't know. You should know better than I whether or not your claim is valid or not. Being honest with yourself is always a good place to start.
I spend a great deal of my time in God's Word, and exploring various avenues for knowing God better. Does doing this ensure a sound relationship with God? I must say no. The Pharisees spent a great deal of time studying God's word, and seeing to it that they be seen in conformance to His word, but we see Christ condemning many of them. So it's not necessarily how much we know about God that ensures a solid loving relationship with God.
Is obedience to God the necessary quality for establishing a loving relationship with God. Well, it can't hurt, but I see myself as a depraved man, incapable of doing that which I know is right. Yet I experience God's love. But why?
This is a mystery to me. I love God, and my heart is set upon Him. My very existence I contribute to Him. My faults I attribute to Him. I argue with Him, and when I fail, I blame Him. And I repent. It seems I'm in a rather continuous state of repentance. I'm always disappointing myself, and so therefore am in a state of feeling as though I'm always disappointing God. Yet I experience His love, but not always.
I do not experience God when I am in the midst of sin. I experience God when I turn from it, when I return to Him. I experience Him when I stumble on spiritual truth, and I can experience Him when I am praising Him. But surely, I have found no rock solid means of experiencing God.
It is as if I and God are two distinct frequencies, whereas the frequency of God is a constant, and mine fluctuates depending on what I am doing, or thinking, or reading, or hearing. Let it be, for purposes of this analogy that we are discussing frequencies of sound. When for whatever the cause, my frequency finds itself matching God's frequency, or in some sort of harmony with God's frequency, and so there is a resonance of that frequency, that actually shakes my very being. This is how I liken the experience of the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of Truth, resonating with God, and feeling the incredible power of His love.
