Male Gay Characteristics

[Secret Chief]

No stereotyping!

Hey he started it! My post is sarcastic (given I wasn't doing what was enquired of).

 

[Secret Chief]

"Pore Jud is daid
A Candle lights his haid"

You're going to have to explain this.

 

[Subduction Zone]

You're going to have to explain this.

 

[Secret Chief]

In my country....if you don't stare and catcall at Monica Bellucci passing by, you are called gay.
That's what the male gay characteristics are, in my country. In a nutshell.

Public sexual objectification is a thing of the past in the UK.

 

[Evangelicalhumanist]

You're going to have to explain this.

Broadway musical, Oklahoma. (See @Revoltingest's stereotyping. )

 

[Subduction Zone]

Broadway musical, Oklahoma. (See @Revoltingest's stereotyping. )

The Hollywood movie that the clip came from starred Shirley Jones, best known for The Partridge Family, though she was also in another Broadway musical that became a movie: The Music Man.

 

[Watchmen]

This was unexpected...
A woman that I have worked with for about a year somehow managed to mention in conversation that she had assumed I was gay. Have you not heard me mention the word "wife" I asked. She had, but it didn't seem crucial in her assessment. I was bemused. She became embarrassed so I didn't ask how she had come to this apparently obvious conclusion.
(It's not that long ago that a woman was seriously hitting on me so I don't think I'm the most camp man on the planet).
So.... what could she have been making this assessment on? Aside from the obvious (whatever that might be) what would make you assume a man is gay?

You’re asking an Internet forum who doesn’t know you in real life why a woman you worked with for about a year thinks you’re gay??? How in the world would we know? Anything said is just rampant speculation.

 

[JustGeorge]

You’re asking an Internet forum who doesn’t know you in real life why a woman you worked with for about a year thinks you’re gay??? How in the world would we know? Anything said is just rampant speculation.

Rampant speculation is fun.

Its probably the apron that did it.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

This was unexpected...
A woman that I have worked with for about a year somehow managed to mention in conversation that she had assumed I was gay. Have you not heard me mention the word "wife" I asked. She had, but it didn't seem crucial in her assessment. I was bemused. She became embarrassed so I didn't ask how she had come to this apparently obvious conclusion.
(It's not that long ago that a woman was seriously hitting on me so I don't think I'm the most camp man on the planet).
So.... what could she have been making this assessment on? Aside from the obvious (whatever that might be) what would make you assume a man is gay?

Well...should she assume all men are straight? Ultimately, it's all just a guess based on evidence, and people's ability and method for assessing that evidence will be varied.
Perhaps you don't perve on her as much as other men?
Perhaps you speak in a particular manner she associates with gay men, or females, which people sometimes think means you are gay?
Perhaps you dress in a certain manner?

End of the day, you can be a gay person and fit no stereotypes. You can be a straight person and fit none of THOSE stereotypes. But as imperfect as it is to use some visual evidence to 'guess', you'll never stop it, and it is more accurate than assuming everyone is straight, I would guess.

Sorry, can't even hazard any specifics on why she would think YOU'RE gay. I'm obviously talking very generally here.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

So.... what could she have been making this assessment on? Aside from the obvious (whatever that might be) what would make you assume a man is gay?

Oooh...story time.
I worked in a factory during my uni years, to pay for my lifestyle. Including Uni.
Anyways, we got in a temp, and he ended up staying for about 6 months. Didn't fit any of the gay stereotypes in terms of fashion, language, music preferences, etc (I'm talking early nineties here). He drove an old de-commisioned ambulance, and called it his shaggin' wagon, which was a pretty bogan thing to do, really.

I couldn't even tell you when I started to think he might be gay, but it was to do with how we referred to his friends, etc. Like he seemed to be regularly doing things with A friend, rather than friends. I dunno...something minor. One day, after everyone else had left, he said something about his car, and I asked if he had a girlfriend. Nope. Boyfriend?
He looked at me pretty hard, since it hadn't been a joke or throwaway line. Then he admitted he had one. I would have been unsurprised if he said no, but there was definitely something I was picking up on.

He said he'd been keeping it a secret since he wasn't sure how people would respond at work, and I told him he probably should continue to keep it a secret, because a bunch of them were pretty openly homophobic. Unless he wanted to make a stand, etc. Not like he had any reason to be ashamed, but his life would definitely have gotten harder. (Same workplace where REM got banned from the music playlist. Grrr)

 

[lewisnotmiller]

Public sexual objectification is a thing of the past in the UK.

I suspect you mean it's a little more underground now, just like in Oz. Catcalls from builders is definitely not common now, and is subject to legal censure.

 

[Estro Felino]

Public sexual objectification is a thing of the past in the UK.

Nice.
I didn't say that approve of that culture.
In Sicily if you are a muscular man, with a deep voice, you're still considered a female if you sleep with a man.

Manhood has nothing to do with being tough or powerful: it depends on whom you sleep with.
You can be effeminate, but if you sleep with a pretty woman, you're considered a man. A real man.

 

[Estro Felino]

I suspect you mean it's a little more underground now, just like in Oz. Catcalls from builders is definitely not common now, and is subject to legal censure.

In Rome all guys do that.
My best friend, who is a really outspoken woman wanted to provoke them, once.
A group of three guys catcalled her, a guy in particular.
Some comment about her bottom and legs.

She fiercely crossed the street and rushed to him, telling him: Look, if you're a man, and if you are cocky enough, now ask for my phone number.
He blushed and apologized, his two friends laughed at him.
My best friend insisted (also because he was really cute, I admit that) and he blushed even more and said that he had a girlfriend, he apologized and walked away.

This episode should make you understand that catcalling here is just to show your own pals that you're a real man. And that you like pretty girls. If you don't catcall pretty girls, you're considered gay in a male circle of friends.

 

[Secret Chief]

In Sicily if you are a muscular man, with a deep voice, you're still considered a female if you sleep with a man.

Are you claiming Sicilians don't understand the distinction between the terms gender and sex then?

 

[Secret Chief]

I suspect you mean it's a little more underground now, just like in Oz. Catcalls from builders is definitely not common now, and is subject to legal censure.

It's been years since I heard such things.

 

[Secret Chief]

Well...should she assume all men are straight?

Err...no.

Perhaps you don't perve on her as much as other men?

Slang for pervert? Do you mean flirt? I don't do that in the brief daily time I'm with my colleagues (of either gender).

Perhaps you speak in a particular manner she associates with gay men, or females, which people sometimes think means you are gay?

I wouldn't know about that. My other female colleagues have had conversations with me about my wife and I. Did they think I was making it up?

Perhaps you dress in a certain manner?

Shirt, tie, casual jacket. (Casual as in my wife keeps saying it needs ironing).

Who knows...

 

[Secret Chief]

You’re asking an Internet forum who doesn’t know you in real life why a woman you worked with for about a year thinks you’re gay??? How in the world would we know? Anything said is just rampant speculation.

I know. Fun isn't it. It was just something extremely surprising to me so I wondered if others might flag up possible reasons (seemingly because of my defective self-awareness. ). I wasn't concerned by her comment, just surprised.

 

[Estro Felino]

Are you claiming Sicilians don't understand the distinction between the terms gender and sex then?

Absolutely not. Thhey don't.
There is not even this distinction in the Sicilian language. Man, male are the same word.

 

[Secret Chief]

Absolutely not. Thhey don't.
There is not even this distinction in the Sicilian language. Man, male are the same word.

Well language is supposed to evolve.

 

[crossfire]

Nice.
I didn't say that approve of that culture.
In Sicily if you are a muscular man, with a deep voice, you're still considered a female if you sleep with a man.

Manhood has nothing to do with being tough or powerful: it depends on whom you sleep with.
You can be effeminate, but if you sleep with a pretty woman, you're considered a man. A real man.

I'm confused. Are men who sleep with each other considered to be women?
What if a man is bisexual? Is he a man when he sleeps with women and a woman when he sleeps with men?