Male Rape

[Alceste]

Would someone explain how a woman could rape a man? I just...can't see it. Also, I can't see why a woman would do it when she could probably go into the streets and get paid for it (I'm not trying to be sexist here, but it's true). I guess it's happened, but...It can't be often o__o

Simple. He says no and she doesn't stop, or she takes advantage of him while he is inebriated, sleeping or unconscious. Or she molests a boy. Or she molests an adult who is incapacitated by means of mental or physical disability. I don't know why that would be confusing.

 

[Kerr]

Yeah, heaven knows RF men NEVER comment on threads about the rape of women.

I sure dont. Never. I have a sex change each time.

 

[Kerr]

Simple. He says no and she doesn't stop. I don't know why that would be confusing.

The confusing part is how to force him. Or get his penis to work as she wishes, so to speak. I have the same problem but I am well aware that its because of how we view gender and sexuality more then anything else.

 

[Alceste]

The confusing part is how to force him. Or get his penis to work as she wishes, so to speak. I have the same problem but I am well aware that its because of how we view gender and sexuality more then anything else.

Penises are little machines. They pretty much do as they're told, IME, regardless of the will of the person they're attached to. Also, it may take a victim a while to work out that they were actually sexually assaulted, rather than just having bad sex, or regrettable sex. Female victims sometimes tell themselves things like "Well it wasn't rape because he only did it for a couple of minutes" or that it was all just a big miscommunication. Male victims are no different, although the social pressure is on men to portray their own sexual assaults as conquests as opposed to abuse. There's a whole internet meme about it - men tell horrific sexual stories and laugh it off, saying "doesn't matter, had sex".

The image we have of "rape" being about physically forcing someone to have sex while they're crying and screaming and scratching and begging you to stop is false. It's a rape myth. Rape is simply coercing sexual contact with someone else against their will. They don't have to physically resist, scratch and punch and run away for "no" to mean "no". In most cases, for example when you are in a relationship with your rapist, it's a very confusing experience to be assaulted. People are tempted to chalk it up as bad sex, and they're not likely to try to start a fist fight in the middle of the assault.

It's not as hard for women to assess they have been raped because our society views penetration as the thing that is "done" and the penetrated party as the person it has been done to. If you shift your perspective and recognize that sex is something two people do to each other - and receive from each other - willingly, regardless of which bits go where, it's easier to understand how men can be sexually assaulted by women.

 

[Alceste]

The confusing part is how to force him. Or get his penis to work as she wishes, so to speak. I have the same problem but I am well aware that its because of how we view gender and sexuality more then anything else.

Further to the reply above, be cautious of this kind of thinking. It's the same thought process that leads many idiots to claim that you can't rape a woman who is wearing jeans.

 

[Kerr]

Further to the reply above, be cautious of this kind of thinking. It's the same thought process that leads many idiots to claim that you can't rape a woman who is wearing jeans.

I mentioned it is a problem . Its a stereotype-like thing that has managed to dig itself into my brain and I am not justifying it. Merely being honest about having it.

 

[DallasApple]

I also think part of the problem that adds to the rape myth is men in particular saying "I wish my wife would rape me" ...or "I wish I was raped by a mob of hot chics".."you can rape me anytime I wont mind".

It feeds into the idea "rape" is "wanted" which is an oxymoron...If the sexual contact is welcomed and wanted then its impossible for it to be rape at the same time.

If people can't even get that much understanding of rape ????We are all in trouble.

I don't think I have ever heard a woman say...."I wish I got raped"...Ravaged ? Sure "swept away" but not "raped".

I have heard dozens of men say that though.

 

[DallasApple]

I mentioned it is a problem . Its a stereotype-like thing that has managed to dig itself into my brain and I am not justifying it. Merely being honest about having it.

I understand what your struggle is.

Its not unusual.

 

[Kerr]

Penises are little machines. They pretty much do as they're told, IME, regardless of the will of the person they're attached to. Also, it may take a victim a while to work out that they were actually sexually assaulted, rather than just having bad sex, or regrettable sex. Female victims sometimes tell themselves things like "Well it wasn't rape because he only did it for a couple of minutes" or that it was all just a big miscommunication. Male victims are no different, although the social pressure is on men to portray their own sexual assaults as conquests as opposed to abuse. There's a whole internet meme about it - men tell horrific sexual stories and laugh it off, saying "doesn't matter, had sex".

The image we have of "rape" being about physically forcing someone to have sex while they're crying and screaming and scratching and begging you to stop is false. It's a rape myth. Rape is simply coercing sexual contact with someone else against their will. They don't have to physically resist, scratch and punch and run away for "no" to mean "no". In most cases, for example when you are in a relationship with your rapist, it's a very confusing experience to be assaulted. People are tempted to chalk it up as bad sex, and they're not likely to try to start a fist fight in the middle of the assault.

It's not as hard for women to assess they have been raped because our society views penetration as the thing that is "done" and the penetrated party as the person it has been done to. If you shift your perspective and recognize that sex is something two people do to each other - and receive from each other - willingly, regardless of which bits go where, it's easier to understand how men can be sexually assaulted by women.

I know enought rape victims to know that rape very often isnt physically brutal. Know of cases where the rapist have manipulated the victim so they didnt realize what had happened for months. The problem is that when the roles are reversed, when the woman is the offender and the man the victim, it contradicts the stereotypical gender roles and views of male/female sexuality. Thats what makes it hard to imagine. Not that it doesnt happen, but because it constradicts stereotypes. Did not in any way mean to imply that men cant be raped or that woman cant rape.

 

[DallasApple]

If a woman tells another woman or a man that her husband raped her she will get "hugged" and they will most likely be angry that happened to her.

If a man tells another man his wife raped him they will most likely respond with something like "you lucky dog"..and a woman's response may more likely be laughter.

I do think its a lot more rare .That could be part of the "confusion " but still.

There is also the eliment of sexual harassment and molestation ..And I mean adults .And yes in a relationship.Unwanted grabbing groping and verbal sexual harassment.Its "assumed" men want that.

 

[DallasApple]

. Know of cases where the rapist have manipulated the victim so they didn't realize what had happened for months.

I have had to 'tell" a woman before that her husband raped her.It was one of those cases where they started and were in the middle.(initial consent) at some point she wanted to stop and he would not.(she was in pain).Her pleas to stop and yes eventual crying fell on deaf ears until he finished.

He apologized after and said he "got carried away" .She was angry ...I said ..I hate to tell you this but that's rape and of course you are angry.

 

[Kerr]

If a woman tells another woman or a man that her husband raped her she will get "hugged" and they will most likely be angry that happened to her.

If a man tells another man his wife raped him they will most likely respond with something like "you lucky dog"..and a woman's response may more likely be laughter.

I do think its a lot more rare .That could be part of the "confusion " but still.

There is also the eliment of sexual harassment and molestation ..And I mean adults .And yes in a relationship.Unwanted grabbing groping and verbal sexual harassment.Its "assumed" men want that.

Yeah, the difference in attitude is definately problematic. Sometimes men appear to be viewed as robots, programmed to go to any length for sex.

 

[Alceste]

I mentioned it is a problem . Its a stereotype-like thing that has managed to dig itself into my brain and I am not justifying it. Merely being honest about having it.

Fair enough.

Here's an example:

Can adult males be victims of sexual assault? | Emily Shire | Comment is free | theguardian.com

Danny Brown was doing a show and a woman climbed on stage, pulled his pants down and put his dick in her mouth. That's obviously a sexual assault, but the public reaction is to either give him a high five or call him a womanizing prick.

So, there's one way a woman can sexually assault a man. Imagine if the genders had been reversed - the rapist would be facing charges and it would have been completely OK for a female rapper to kick him in the face.

 

[DallasApple]

[Yeah, the difference in attitude is definately problematic. Sometimes men appear to be viewed as robots, programmed to go to any length for sex./QUOTE]

And yes ..they(too many) boast too much about being pretty much just that.So its hard to take seriously when a man says he was "forced' to have sex.

Maybe the tides are turning now ? Or there is just more awareness? I don't know.But my now 17 yo son and his 1st GF broke up because she was pressuring him to have sex.Like she made a HUGE ordeal about it and she broke up with HIM because he wouldn't.Similar happened to my now 23 yo when he was 19 (and a virgin still) when he dated a 26 yo .

And no they are not "gay".

 

[DallasApple]

[QUOTESo, there's one way a woman can sexually assault a man. Imagine if the genders had been reversed - the rapist would be facing charges and it would have been completely OK for a female rapper to kick him in the face.][/QUOTE]

Right..but along the lines of what I was mentioning before???Women may "assume' that is just his "dream come true".She may assume its "wanted".Because heck wouldn't that be "any guys" wet dream? Men want sex..and men want women to be more "aggressive" and not so "passive" is the message in general.

So I'm not so sure what she did based on her "intent" because of BRAINWASHING is the same thing as far as haneousnes (spelling) than if it had been the other way around.

Does that make sense?Im not saying "ignorance' is an "excuse" ..Im saying society may be "breeding" this assumption that ...she was "treating him" rather than assaulting him.

 

[Kerr]

And yes ..they(too many) boast too much about being pretty much just that.So its hard to take seriously when a man says he was "forced' to have sex.

Maybe the tides are turning now ? Or there is just more awareness? I don't know.But my now 17 yo son and his 1st GF broke up because she was pressuring him to have sex.Like she made a HUGE ordeal about it and she broke up with HIM because he wouldn't.Similar happened to my now 23 yo when he was 19 (and a virgin still) when he dated a 26 yo .

And no they are not "gay".

Lol, I didnt think they where. I am not a sex crazy robot myself.

 

[Kerr]

Right..but along the lines of what I was mentioning before???Women may "assume' that is just his "dream come true".She may assume its "wanted".Because heck wouldn't that be "any guys" wet dream? Men want sex..and men want women to be more "aggressive" and not so "passive" is the message in general.

So I'm not so sure what she did based on her "intent" because of BRAINWASHING is the same thing as far as haneousnes (spelling) than if it had been the other way around.

Does that make sense?Im not saying "ignorance' is an "excuse" ..Im saying society may be "breeding" this assumption that ...she was "treating him" rather than assaulting him.

Any guys wet dream to get his pants pulled down infront of a crowed? Lol. But I can see the problem. My brain is quick to think he is "lucky" to (and then I tell it to shut up ). I think the best way to deal with it, at least in my case, is knowledge. Knowledge is like sledgehammer against stereotypes .

 

[Titanic]

Any guys wet dream to get his pants pulled down infront of a crowed? Lol. But I can see the problem. My brain is quick to think he is "lucky" to (and then I tell it to shut up ). I think the best way to deal with it, at least in my case, is knowledge. Knowledge is like sledgehammer against stereotypes .

I think in this case he would only be considered lucky if the woman was attractive.

 

[DallasApple]

Lol, I didnt think they where. I am not a sex crazy robot myself.

And its sex "fueled" robot by the way! lOL!!

 

[Kerr]

I think in this case he would only be considered lucky if the woman was attractive.

Thanks for making my sexist prick side come up with a very inappropriate response I am not going to post here .

Stupid brain .